Archives---July 2010
July 31, 2010
...Just because its fun to read: "(AP) WASHINGTON – A second House Democrat, Rep. Maxine Waters of California, could be facing an ethics trial this fall, further complicating the midterm election outlook for the party as it battles to hold onto its majority. People familiar with the investigation, who were not authorized to be quoted about unannounced charges, say the allegations could be announced next week...New York Democrat Rep. Charles Rangel also faces an ethics trial this fall on separate charges that included failure to disclose assets and income, nonpayment of taxes and doing legislative favors for donors to a college center named after him." This, my gently surfing friends, is called Christmas in July.
...How about a little more fun on an Every Day Is
Saturday morning? "(AP) PORTLAND, Ore. – The case of the Nobel
Peace Prize winner and the massage therapist has been closed. Former Vice
President Al Gore was cleared Friday of allegations he groped and assaulted a
masseuse in a luxury Portland hotel room in 2006." It just can't get
much better, unless Harry Reid were to go Larry Craig in a Vegas airport mens
room.
...Props to Chelsea Clinton, who, after today, finally gets to escape those two crazy people forever, albeit under the life long watch of a Secret Service agent. The former First Daughter will wed Marc Mezvinsky. The couple, and Special Agent Johnson, will live in the New York metropolitan area where Mezvinsky is an investment banker (whatever the hell that is). Yes, for the record, Suttle World didn't have to search hard, but did post the pic to the right, simply because its such a flattering outfit for the Secretary of State. Is that a tent, or did she just parachute in for the festivities? Click to enlarge. Yes, it is possible.
...Suttle World would like to take this brief interlude to personally apologize to any Democrats that were not personally insulted in the morning's update. "Courage."
...Big win for the Braves last night over the Reds in Cinci. Perhaps the badly listing ship that has been this road trip has been righted. After giving up a ninth inning lead, Atlanta bounced back to take the contest 6-4 in 10 innings. Today's meeting between the two division leaders begins at 4:00, and gets network/Fox coverage.
...Yani Tseng of Taiwan holds an four stroke lead with play underway in the Women's Open Championship from Royal Birkdale Golf Club. Meanwhile, Bernhard Langer fired a 68 Friday to put himself in position to win a second straight major championship in as many weeks---the US Geezer Open. All this while the PGA beats the Greenbriar like a baby seal. Jeff Overton holds a four stroke lead at -14 heading into the third round today. Suttle World notes that at least Tom Watson and Mark Calcavecchia are playing in their third major in as many weeks, and there may well be more that Suttle World has missed.
...Memo to Mike Shanahan: judicial notice is served that you are the head coach of the Washington Redskins. It even says so on the sign in front of your parking space at the Skins' camp. It is also stipulated that Michael Haynesworth has been a pain in the ass. Regardless, if you are determined to treat grown men who earn five times your salary like Bud Grant did, your NFL coaching career is doomed to a legacy of two Elways and out. Suttle World has this very disturbing mental image of Daniel Snyder calling Rankin Smith, Jr. for advice on a regular basis.
July 29, 2010
..."(AP) WASHINGTON – The U.S. economic recovery will remain slow deep into next year, held back by shoppers reluctant to spend and employers hesitant to hire, according to an Associated Press survey of leading economists." Suttle World is shocked! Shocked. Now that the health care crisis has been solved, financial "reform" is at hand, and taxes are about to rise on the evil rich (living and dead), how could the American economy do anything but soar?
...Suttle World is sure that its own dyslexia is working here, and that the AP headline today doesn't really read: "DC pushes female condoms to fight HIV epidemic."
...Play is underway at the Women's British Open at Royal Birkdale Golf Club---the final major for the chicks' tour this season.
July 27, 2010
...Props the Rays hurler Matt Garza, who tossed the fifth no-hitter of the 2010 MLB season over the Giants last night in Tampa. Suttle World doesn't get it either, but is not at all persuaded that better steroid policing is a major factor. First, pitchers were believed to have been juicing at almost the same rate as hitters, and, two, anabolic steroids do not aid the user in putting a bat on the ball. They may make a fly ball travel an extra 20 feet, but HGH doesn't produce base hits.
...A belated take from last week due to the now infamous technical difficulties. Thursday, Suttle World and bride of Suttle World had the opportunity to take in a very well done two hour performance by Mary Chapin Carpenter. The show was aided mightily by an excellent five piece backing band, and made downright spectacular by the venue: the south terrace of Biltmore Estates. Bride of Suttle World estimated the seating at around 12-1300 in an area with a footprint smaller than that of a high school football stadium's field. Stunning vistas of the Blue Ridge flanked the western side of the professional, ad-hoc stage, and afforded a stunning sun set a half hour into Carpenter's performance. The only downside, is that Suttle World would rather throw itself off the slope of the Blue Ridge than be subjected to any of the other acts on this year's concert schedule. Still, Suttle World gives the entire experience a very civilized two thumbs up. Yes, Suttle World dropped nearly $150 on the 12th row ducats, but parked for free on the estate, and was efficiently shuttled in air conditioned comfort both to and from entry into/onto the venue itself. An 8:00 show, and Suttle World and bride of Suttle World were back in the bosom of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 by 11:00, and could hear at a normal level the following day (the sound, especially for an outdoor event, was of stunning quality).
...Suttle World is very pleasantly surprised to find that extending the Bush tax cuts (set to expire 1/1/11) is an issue that actually seems to be in play. Suttle World finds no fault in Democrats who have eschewed the sage words of Satchel Paige---understandably looking over their shoulders because there is, indeed, something coming. "Clean up on the dead horse aisle." One more time (and sing it with feeling if so inclined)---human body weight shift is, generally speaking, a simple function of kilocalories in and kilocalories out. More in than out, and the gentle surfer gains body mass. Fewer in than out results in the loss of weight. That noted, there is no disagreement that current deficits and astronomically climbing debt the US faces are most unfortunate. Here, generally speaking, there are two variables: revenue in, and spending out. Allowing the Bush cuts to expire, even on the evil, rich upper brackets, will reduce the amount of income tax collected by the federal government. Lower marginal rates increase tax revenue, including capital gains. Bottom line: any one who purports to aspire to lower debt and deficits by increasing taxes is either disingenuous or stupid.
July 26, 2010
...Suttle World continues to study the 90,000+ pages of the Pentagon's charts and graphs leaked yesterday. Suttle World's base gastro-intestinal feel for the leak is similar to the war effort in Afghanistan generally: it doesn't make much of a difference.
..."(AP) CHICAGO – More than 70,000 children and teens go to the emergency room each year for injuries and complications from medical devices, and contact lenses are the leading culprit, the first detailed national estimate suggests." Now here's a situation that a government controlled single payer health care system could fix. Under such a system, the children would never have been diagnosed, and treated, in part, with medical devices. Ergo, there would be no complications from their use.
...Props to Andre Dawson, a class act, whose
induction into the baseball Hall of Fame yesterday was as deserving as any other
"residents" of the shrine. Also justly joining Mr. Dawson, are
Whitey Herzog and Doug Harvey who worked/umpired over 4,600 games in the
National League during his 30 year tenure. The lone disappointment, is
that the Hall once again failed to induct Ernie Johnson into the broadcasters
wing---one is added each year, and the gentle surfer interested in justice being
served are directed to erniejohnson.org
for further information.
...Getting the final week of July off to a big start is a belated installment of Bruner's Texas Takes, bravely submitted by cuzin Matt just prior to the onset of Suttle World's technical difficulties of a couple weeks past.
July 25, 2010
..."(AP) DUISBURG, Germany – The death toll rose to 19 on Sunday and police said that 342 had been injured in a panicked crush of partygoers in an overcrowded tunnel that served as the sole entrance to a German festival billed as the world's largest techno music party." This is tragic. This is also White Snake 2.0---perhaps a form of metaphysical Darwinism.
...Many gentle surfers are, of course, curious as to Suttle World's take on the Open Championship last week from St. Andrews, especially given that last Sunday was the fifth and final High Holy Day of Sport on the 2010 calendar. First, that what's his name kid from South Africa had one hell of a week. Suttle World, no doubt like much of the western world, kept waiting for Oosthuizen to begin a downward march on the leaderboard. Instead, he got the good draws in the first two rounds, built a lead, and never looked back. Very impressive. Another notion that continues to rumble around Suttle World's head is that of the conditions, and not how they effected play. Suttle World watched a large majority of the coverage, and didn't see a single piece of paper, food wrapper, cup, etc... ever blow across any green or fairway. Sure, Suttle World appreciates that the R&A had a squadron of little old geezers to police the Old Course, but with a constant 20+ MPH wind and not a single tumbleweed of trash is also very impressive. Finally, the TV coverage itself, of which the lion's share was carried by ESPN, came off just fine without Chris Berman, thank you very much. The geezer Open Championship will be completed today. Bernhard Langer holds a three stroke lead heading into the final round.
...Props to the Atlanta Braves, who, largely without any national recognition, have recovered from one of the worst starts in franchise history to now hold a very comfortable six game lead in the National League East. Suttle World is aware that given the ridiculously overweighted schedule due to idiotic inter-league play, teams can make up a lot of ground in a hurry within their own division, but a wild card playoff entry would seem to be assured unless an August from the 70s rears its ugly head. Would Carl Morton please leave the white courtesy phone alone?
July 24, 2010
...Yes, following a week and a half of technical issues, Suttle World proudly makes its triumphant return on this, the next to last Every Day Is Saturday of July. The ever inept Suttle World staff failed to diagnose a simple issue of the monitor's premature death, and instead merely fretted over replacing (and hopefully retrieving the data from) the decrepit PC from which Suttle World is published. Alas, Suttle World is going to put the incident on a shelf in the "no harm-no foul" aisle, given that the gentle surfer really hasn't missed much of anything. The dark days of Suttle World are coinciding with the dog days of worldly events upon which to comment.
...Suttle World does stipulate a caveat to the "Ain't Nothin' To Do" syndrome: potential Armageddon, if the gentle surfer is going to be picky. "(AP) SEOUL, South Korea – North Korea vowed Saturday to respond with "powerful nuclear deterrence" to joint U.S. and South Korean military exercises poised to begin this weekend, saying the drills amount to a provocation that would prompt "retaliatory sacred war." Suttle World has several observations: first, this is not good. Second, though tempting as it may be to beat the current administration about the head and shoulders, Suttle World shall refrain, because the competency of the chief executive has little effect when dealing with crazy people such as North Korea and Iran. Third, and finally: number two notwithstanding, Suttle World has serious concerns about the ability of this administration to manage a true crisis. And no, a third stimulus package to bail out the North is not a viable option. A nukes for KFC exchange program is the current Suttle World policy option on the table.
..."(AP) LAS VEGAS – The Democratic Party has a
motivation problem. Party officials acknowledged low morale within their
left wing and urged liberal bloggers and activists Friday to keep faith with
President Barack Obama in an election year as Democrats brace for losses in
Congress...(AP) NEW YORK – Friends and political allies of embattled Rep.
Charlie Rangel are noticeably quiet after the disclosure that the 40-year House
veteran and dean of the New York congressional delegation may face serious
charges from a House ethics panel." Suttle World has a few
observations here as well: first, neither of the leads in either AP story
(the news "wire" that simply passes along stories) is news.
Second: why is AP obsessed with what impact any give
n
story has on the Democratic party? Third: no shit, Sherlock.
This can mean only one thing. Yes, time once again to crank up the UPI of
Suttle World---the Suttle News Network (SNN).
..."(SNN) MOOSE JAW, SK - National Democratic party
leaders seemed concerned Friday, following the circulation of rumors on Capitol
Hill that Jimmy Richards, a 14 year old high school student in Edison, NJ has
been having prurient thoughts regarding his 15 year old neighbor, Tammy
Stewart. Some sources have gone as far as to suggest that Richards has
engaged in auto erotic acts as a result of his interests. When asked for
comment, a beleaguered 80 year old Charles Rangel (VeryD-NY), who is facing
ethics problems of his own said, "shit, just get that boy a six pack of 40s
and give him a key to one of my half dozen rent controlled apartments in the
city. It'll all work out fine." Jimmy, acting on advice of
counsel, declined any comment on the matter.
..."LONDON (AFP) – The strongest and most expensive beer ever created sold out within hours Friday, a Scottish brewery said, as they courted controversy by packaging the bottles inside the bodies of stuffed animals. BrewDog, the self-described maverick brewery, presented the beer -- which contains a record 55 percent alcohol -- inside the bodies of dead squirrels and stoats." 110 proof beer in a dead squirrels...Suttle World gives BrewDog an A+ in the marketing class.
July 13, 2010
...No need to panic. Suttle World merely took a sick day---preferring to minister the nagging symptoms of a prototypical summer cold as opposed to a lamer than usual update Monday. The gentle surfer is reassured that the contagion is beyond its apex, and that recovery is well on the way.
...Suttle World surveys the landscape and sees an economy in the dumper (and soon to be flushed out of sight by pending tax increases), a war in Afghanistan that is out of control with no end in view (as opposed to the promised 2011 pull out), 90 days of bubbling crude gushing into the Gulf, the nation's borders unsecured and projected spending that would make Leona Helmsley say, "damn!" The best estimates has around 20% of the American work force either unemployed, or working severely underemployed (often in part-time positions). This is a looming set of circumstances for Suttle World, as is no doubt the case with many gentle surfers. Despite the desperate plight, Suttle World does see a solution. President Obama/Jimmy Carter 2.0 can continue to blame his predecessor until all is solved, or until the next inauguration. Paging again: "would President Reagan please pick up the white courtesy phone?"
...Suttle World extends major props to Paula Creamer on her capture of the 2010 Women's US Open Championship over the weekend. The lady's tees need it, as opined in a rant below.
...All Star time, and nobody cares. Suttle World believes the mid-summer classic to still be all that, but with the constant TV exposure now enjoyed by baseball (and the other three majors), its just another game that ends much too late, if it ends at all. The bigger news is that following an awful start, the Atlanta Braves head into the break having won seven of their last ten games, and hold a very comfortable four game lead over the Mets in the National League East. The gentle surfer is admonished to continue to enjoy the Fox promos of the event while the can. The Dictators cover of California Sun continues to run as the "soundtrack" for both TV and radio spots.
...Breaking news during the somewhat edited of Suttle World this morning: George Steinbrenner died this morning in NYC after suffering a massive cardiac event. The owner of the New York Yankees since 1973 was 88. Obit tomorrow.
July 11, 2010
...The Atlanta Classic lives on in the form of the John Deere Classic---the PGA spot where finishing 30 under could bring as much as third or fourth place prize money. Steve Stricker has posted a 60, a 66, a 62, and stands at TWENTY FIVE under par after only 54 holes of this august PGA event (the lowest 54 hole total in PGA history!). He leads both Jeff Maggert and Paul Goydos by five headed into today's final round in Silvis, IL (just east of the twin cities of Rock Island and Davenport). The gentle surfer will recall that Goydos posted only the fourth ever 59 in PGA history Thursday, but struggled with the windmill on #8 both Friday and Saturday to fall off the top of the leaderboard. Laura E. Korn is, no doubt, proud.
...Meanwhile at the somewhat more challenging Oakmont Country Club, the ladies are set to do battle for the final round of the 2010 Women's US Open. Calendar girl (and damn good ball striker) Paula Creamer is tied with Wendy Ward at one under, but much of the field was unable to complete their third round yesterday due to darkness due to Friday's suspension of play due to rain (actually darkness yesterday was due to the Earth's rotation, but...). NBC picks up coverage at 3:00, and Suttle World speculates that the call of "OK, you girls hurry it up down there" is being blared from bull horns around Oakmont at this writing so that everything will be right on schedule for TV. They need it. Women's professional golf (Suttle World stipulates that this is a USGA event) is in trouble, big-time. The gentle surfer is asked to try this idea (one a bit more genuine than some in the past): perhaps various women's sports that are struggling (or gone altogether as is the case with bowling and soccer), join forces for a ladies barnstorming "olympic"/multi sport meet/tour that could draw a crowd. Serious, ducats would be cheap (TV bucks is the holy grail), and the gentle surfer could take in some bowling on Wednesday, a soccer match Friday and the final round of the golf tournament Sunday the week the ladies come to town. Free hot dogs for the kids.
..."(AP) NEW YORK – The number of wireless service subscriptions worldwide passed 5 billion this week, according to an estimate by LM Ericsson AB, the Swedish maker of wireless equipment. The estimate is based on data from carriers worldwide, and compares to the global population of nearly 6.9 billion people." Damn.
...Of course the big event for today is that as of about 5:00 (EDT), the World Cup will finally be over. BHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
July 10, 2010
...Let the choirs sing gloriously, and the maidens dance about with glee as Suttle World triumphantly celebrates its seventh birthday. Festivities will abound during the next week, largely because Suttle World isn't sure as to the exact date Suttle World was first published. The URL was bought on July 7, 2003, and presumably the hosting as well, but typically there is a 48 or so "burn in" period, before a site can go live. Ergo, July 10 has been chosen as the arbitrary anniversary. There will be blasts from the past, details on coming attractions, and a rare behind the scenes look at Suttle World Headquarters nestled securely in a bunker on the grounds of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0. There will be a $10 surcharge for the gentle surfer that wishes to rent headphones for the special audio broadcast during the tour, and, an additional $15 for 3D glasses.
...If Suttle World has learned one thing from seven years of this idiocy it is this: if Buddy Sorrell and Sally Rogers were in Suttle World HQ every morning around 6:00, this would be a hell of a lot easier.
...The first noticeable change in Suttle World today is an abandonment of the Every Day Is Saturday TV Theme Song of the Day. They've all been used, and straying away from the pseudo-Saturday morning cartoon seems tawdry (Suttle World is not going to run through the My Mother the Car Theme Songs, etc...). It was a great run, but when one is down to Japanamation... Appropriately, and as a salute to the Every Day Is Saturday theme that shall carry forth in title, today's SOTD is The Dictators classic from where the lyric/state of mind originates. Also, though premature, the vuvuzela has been removed from the Suttle World home page due to popular demand.
...While still in the Dictators aisle, a belated props to cuzin Rob in Cheeseland who was the first to notice several weeks ago that the music running behind several Fox promos of Tuesday's All Star Game are a demo of The Dictators cover of California Sun---the final version made the first lp, the demo was released on the Every Day Is Saturday lp. A link to the spot is here.
..."(AP) NEW ORLEANS – Undersea robots manipulated by engineers a mile above will begin work Saturday removing the containment cap over the gushing well head in the Gulf of Mexico to replace it with a tighter-fitting cap that could funnel all the oil to tankers at the surface." One engineer on the scene has indicated to Suttle World that the new project involves what is believed to be the world's largest roll of duct tape. While still in the "clean up on aisle three" department, Suttle World suspects that the enterprising young gentle surfer could roll by Sam's Club, pick up a few cases of Bounties, head to the Gulf shore, and get some sweet government deal to be a "quick picker upper."
...The gentle surfer that wishes to fly its "Leer Jet...to see a total eclipse of the sun" this weekend had better get headed to the airport pretty soon. The spectacle begins at sunrise some 1,200 miles northeast of New Zealand. The moon's shadow will sweep across the South Pacific, darkening skies over the Cook Islands, Easter Island and parts of southern Chile and Argentina. South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was unavailable for comment on this story.
...How does one follow a 59? Paul Goydos did it yesterday by making birdie on the first two holes he played, but eventually returned to planet earth to turn in a paltry three under, 68, and trail Steve Stricker (dude who put up a 60 Thursday) by a single stroke headed into the third round of the ever popular John Deere Classic from the TPC at Deere Run in sparkling Silvis, IL.
..About two-thirds of the field at the Women's US Open is settled in for a very long Every Day Is Saturday, playing all or most of the second round in the morning and all or most of the third round in the afternoon following rain at Oakmont yesterday afternoon that suspended second round play. Paula Creamer is off to a good start at this writing, having birdied two of the first six holes of her second round, and is the only player in red numbers on a very what is now a misleaderboard (it'll start to make more sense this afternoon following the cut).
July 9, 2010
...Suttle World and bride of Suttle World were otherwise preoccupied Thursday evening as the couple took in the Flat Rock Playhouse's production of 12 Angry Men---brilliantly staged in the well of the historic Henderson County Courthouse. The minimalist two hour production was perfectly paced, and included a cast of a dozen incredibly skilled actors working with perfect chemistry. The production will run an extra two weeks, due to ticket demand.
...An offshoot of the aforementioned lovely Thursday evening was that it was nearly 11:00 pm before Suttle World became aware that LeBron had chosen Miami as his next port of call. Suttle World gets the decision, but must admit surprise that dude scheduled an hour of prime time cable TV to tell Cleveland AMF. Hey, it raised some bucks for charity, and now gives the gentle surfer a real good idea as to whom will face the Lakers next year in the NBA finals.
..."LONDON (Reuters Life!) – Money may not be the answer to all of life's troubles, but earning 50,000 pounds a year -- and not a penny more -- could make you among the happiest in Britain, a survey found." Unmentioned by the study is that the group only encompasses those Brits who make £50,000, tax free. Those in the taxed group were nearly unanimous that being left an allowance of £6, 48 pence a week isn't all its cracked up to be. Still there is that really neat National Health Service---the one in which one quarter of patients diagnosed with colon cancer die before their first scheduled appointment with an oncologist.
...The good news is that PGA journeyman Paul Goydos became only the fourth player in tour history to post a 59 yesterday. The bad news is that Goydos holds only a one stroke lead following the first round of the John Deere Classic---an event that helps to explain the 59 (much like Al Geiberger at the old Memphis Country Club/Danny Thomas Open).
..."DUBLIN (AFP) – Police in Ireland are investigating after a penguin was stolen from Dublin Zoo on Thursday, only to be discovered waddling through the city's streets." Suttle World extends its best regards to whichever gentle surfer pulled this off.
July 8, 2010
...The gentle surfer still making weekend plans shouldn't neglect the big time oldies show Friday evening at the Meadowlands Racetrack. The featured act: Emil Stucchio and The Classics. Music starts at 6:30. Post time for the trotters is 7:30.
...Suttle World needs to get this on the record prior to tonight's big announcement. There have been back channel negotiations over the past week, but Suttle World would like of officially invite LeBron to play with Suttle World next season at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor. There's a brand new facility, two balls, and plenty of playing time available.
..."LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – A California jury on Wednesday awarded actor Don Johnson $23.2 million in profits he said he was owed by the company that produced his hit television cop drama "Nash Bridges." Suttle World believes the figure to be fair. About $20 million would be the price required to publicly admit that one was in any way involved "Nash Bridges."
"(AP) PARIS – A French surgeon says he has conducted a full-face transplant including eyelids and tear ducts. A hospital in Barcelona, Spain, says it conducted the world's first full-face transplant in April." Suttle World simply wasn't aware of the face shortage facing European gentle surfers.
July 7, 2010
..."(AP) ESPN reported Tuesday night that LeBron James will announce his future NBA plans during a one-hour special on its network at 9 p.m. Thursday. ESPN’s Chris Broussard said James’ “representatives” contacted the network and asked for the unusual arrangement." Sources close to Suttle World indicate the LeBron will be joined by co- hosts Bret Favre and Sugar Ray Leonard. Dirk Bremen, president of the Idiot Three Day NFL Draft Watchers of America, was ecstatic over the announcement. "This is right up our alley," said Bremen, "one player, one team, one hour." Suttle World wonders if the remainder of the hour long program will be filled with special guest star appearances by Bobby Gentry along with Wayland and Madame?
...The orange advance and await the winner of the
Hitler-Franco battle this afternoon for a chance to finally end this tedious
World Cup deal for another four
years come Saturday. BHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
...Helping the gentle surfer get over the hump of the week is cuzin Matt, and another stellar installment of Bruner's Texas Takes >>>>>>>>>
July 6, 2010
..."(AP) WASHINGTON – Battered by massive losses, the Postal Service wants to raise rates to bring in more money." The powers to be have yet to determine the amount of the new increase in first class postage that now stands at 44¢. A Suttle World Institute for Studying Really Stupid Stuff poll reveals that 24% of Americans surveyed were very much against the increase. The other 76% had no ideas whatsoever as to what a post office or stamps are.
..."(AP) SYDNEY – A judge ordered Australian band Men at Work [or their estates for God's sake] on Tuesday to hand over a portion of the royalties from their 1980s hit "Down Under," after previously ruling its distinctive flute riff was copied from a children's campfire song. But the penalty — 5 percent of the song's royalties — was far less than the 60 percent sought by publishing company Larrikin Music, which holds the copyright for the song "Kookaburra Sits in the Old Gum Tree." Suttle World is disappointed in the penalty as well, having preferred the bands work to be accumulated and destroyed so that future generations would not have to endure what was "rock n roll elevator music" as soon as it hit vinyl 30 years ago. George Harrison was unavailable for comment on the story.
...Suttle World reckons that the Netherlands are big time favorites over Uruguay today in the first of two World Cup semi-final games. The Orange is -$550 while the Llamas are listed at +$350, but the wager only pays if one team wins in regulation. All bets are pushed if the match is determined in extra time or by a shootout. Suttle World cannot find action on the eventual winner of any contest! BHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
July 5, 2010
...A belated report on Saturday's first ever soiree at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0: by all appearances, a good time was had by all that numbered as many as 15 according to security sources close to the estate. Suttle World extends its most sincere thanks to all that attended, especially bride of Suttle World who performed flawlessly in her role as world's greatest wife.
...Johnson County Kansas civic leaders are planning a National Museum of Suburban History. Seriously---Suttle World just couldn't make this stuff up. Suttle World can only assume the group has successfully negotiated to move the current burb celebrating wing from the National Museum of Necessary Evils in New Jersey. "I just can't wait to get to that Jiffy-Lube exhibit, Martha. I hear its close to the Wal-Mart Colossuseum (damn funny word), and Hall of Snotty Teenagers."
...Typically there are a number of Darwin Award nominees that emerge from holidays that are part of warm weather long weekends. Aside from a few lost extremities from pyrotechnics and a drowning here and there in which authorities are obligatorily, albeit logically, "investigating as to whether alcohol was a factor," no notable idiots have emerged as of this writing either nationally or in and around stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0.
...Suttle World does not believe that it has gone on record with an obvious observation from the past several weeks. Ronald Reagan wrestled the southeast away from total Democratic dominance in 1980. Arguably the "solid south" began its disintegration in '68, but that's inside baseball for card carrying Political Scientists such as Suttle World. Regardless, the path to the White House has been largely dependent on the way the region has gone ever since---the same states that have seen oil bubbling off their shores for 77 days now. Suttle World wouldn't care to trade places with Michael Steele (the, for now, RNC head, as in, "damn brother, I don't think I'd said that"), but believes DNC Chair, Tim Kaine, to have a much greater pucker factor at present.
...Props to Joe Johnson, who got the maximum of $120 MILLION over six years out of the Atlanta Hawks over the weekend. The Orlando series notwithstanding, Suttle World is big on Joe, and is quick to point out to any gentle surfer that pure scorers don't grow on trees. That said, Suttle World thinks $120 MILLION could go a long way in the second tier free agent market.
...Word on the street has Damon Evans out as the University of Georgia’s athletic director. Suttle World is stunned, given the forgiving nature of our nation. Just because the 40-year-old married father of two children was pulled over for DUI with a 28 year old female companion, a pair of red panties between his legs, and tried to use his position of influence to avoid arrest... If only the had been silver britches...
July 4, 2010 INDEPENDENCE DAY!
...When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security. --Such has been the patient sufferance of these colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these states. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his assent to laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his governors to pass laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of representation in the legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved representative houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the legislative powers, incapable of annihilation, have returned to the people at large for their exercise; the state remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavored to prevent the population of these states; for that purpose obstructing the laws for naturalization of foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migration hither, and raising the conditions of new appropriations of lands.
He has obstructed the administration of justice, by refusing his assent to laws for establishing judiciary powers.
He has made judges dependent on his will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies without the consent of our legislature.
He has affected to render the military independent of and superior to civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his assent to their acts of pretended legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment for any murders which they should commit on the inhabitants of these states:
For cutting off our trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing taxes on us without our consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of trial by jury:
For transporting us beyond seas to be tried for pretended offenses:
For abolishing the free system of English laws in a neighboring province, establishing therein an arbitrary government, and enlarging its boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule in these colonies:
For taking away our charters, abolishing our most valuable laws, and altering fundamentally the forms of our governments:
For suspending our own legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated government here, by declaring us out of his protection and waging war against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burned our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow citizens taken captive on the high seas to bear arms against their country, to become the executioners of their friends and brethren, or to fall themselves by their hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavored to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian savages, whose known rule of warfare, is undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have we been wanting in attention to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, enemies in war, in peace friends.
We, therefore, the representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the good people of these colonies, solemnly publish and declare, that these united colonies are, and of right ought to be free and independent states; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the state of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent states, they have full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which independent states may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.
New Hampshire: Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton
Massachusetts: John Hancock, Samual Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry
Rhode Island: Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery
Connecticut: Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott
New York: William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris
New Jersey: Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark
Pennsylvania: Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross
Delaware: Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean
Maryland: Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton
Virginia: George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton
North Carolina: William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn
South Carolina: Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton
Georgia: Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton
Source: The Pennsylvania Packet, July 8, 1776
July 3, 2010
...Only time for the briefest of updates on this Every Day Is Saturday, as Suttle World and bride of Suttle World prepare for a post noon onslaught a throng of locals with varying degrees of character questionability---an early Independence Day soiree at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 springs forth. Ollie is a definite/will be there commitment.
July 2, 2010
...If its July 2nd...Suttle World extends its props to brother of Suttle World who today successfully completes his 44th orbit of the sun. Suttle World also extends props to the great beyond to the Republic's framers who ratified the Declaration of Independence today back in ole 1776. Suttle World will gladly stand corrected by any gentle surfer who can get the record straight for one the most curious/pseudo-mysterious points during the Continental Congress. Yes, the document is prominently dated July 4, and the Declaration was "made public" on the 4th, but each of the delegates who kept copious notes of all affairs, agree that the Declaration was ratified on the 2nd, and there is virtually no relevant record of anything happening on July 4, 1776.
..."(AP) WASHINGTON – A wave of census layoffs cut the nation's payrolls in June for the first time in six months, while private employers added a modest number of jobs. The unemployment rate fell to 9.5 percent, its lowest level in almost a year." Suttle World is fully aware that it is shopping in the fantasy land aisle when it points out that the additional TRILLION DOLLARS spent by this administration on stimulus has had little, if any positive effect. A TRILLION DOLLARS is roughly the amount of revenue brought in by the federal income tax. Suttle World tends to believe that suspending the income tax for the past year, would have the US economy perking right along at the same cost of the additional spending. Yes, its a sill notion, one that Suttle World suggested a couple years ago along with Congressman Louie Gohmert (R - TX) who sponsored legislation to suspend the income tax in 2009. Where's a no confidence vote when you really need one?
...Suttle World is unsure if its Rob Bartlett or Tony Powell who is doing the Charlie Rangel bits, but its damn funny stuff. Today marks the end of a week where every radio talk show host on the planet is on vacation. Suttle World has always found this to be a curious regular state of affairs, given the "dog days" of news typically are in August.
...Suttle World extends its belated props to cuzin Moke, who following a clip job to repair a hernia, comes back last week to post a most impressive 79 at North Fulton Golf Course---affectionately known as "divot city" BITD (a handle Suttle World believes to have been invented by elder cuzin Roy Swartzberg). Word on the street has it that cuzin Moke's impressive score was aided mightily by slam dunking the 190 yard (longer than Suttle World recalls, but it is all carry) #14. Unfortunately, the ball did not cooperate by nestling into the cup for the player's second career ace, but afforded a tap in birdie putt. Suttle World's last couple of forays to the links have proven to be incredibly ugly experiences. Suttle World has managed to leave all decent ball striking on the range, and then adds regular three putts for scores of great misery. Suttle World is proud to announce that after 40 years of "play," it is now an official member of the USGA.
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