Archives---June 2010
June 30, 2010
...Suttle World sees little reasons to fret over the confirmation of Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan. Her lack of experience on the bench is a non-starter (see: former Chief Justice William Rehnquist---an assistant Attorney General in the Nixon "Justice" Department with no previous judicial experience, and whose daughter, Nancy, was a sixth grade classmate of Suttle World). Kagan will be confirmed, and in doing so, its tit for tat---trading her liberal vote for that of the retiring Justice Stevens.
...The late Senator Robert Byrd will be interred next Tuesday alongside his wife of nearly 69 years, Erma, in Arlington, Va. A grandson is also buried at the cemetery near the senator's Beltway residence. Following the service, Arlington National Cemetery will be moved in its entirety to the state of West Virginia.
...Props to the South Carolina Gamecocks on winning the College World Series last night over UCLA.
,,,"(AP) NEW YORK CNN is preparing for a summertime search to find the successor to Larry King, who announced suddenly that he's leaving the show that has been the centerpiece of the news network's lineup for 25 years." This comes as big news to Suttle World who believed King to already be interred in Arlington National Cemetery.
June 28, 2010
...AMF to Sen. Robert Byrd (KKK-WV) who will not be down for breakfast this morning. He was 96, and died of complications from being 96. Byrd, whose 51 years of service in the world's most exclusive club marks the longest tenure in the Senate's history, leaves an unfulfilled legacy. Though fighting mightily for over half a century, Byrd was unable to relocate the entire federal government to West Virginia. In addition, Senator Byrd often commented that he always carried a copy of the Constitution in his breast pocket. Unfortunately, he never got around to reading it.
..."(AP) ASBURY PARK, N.J. Once among
the top seaside resorts on the East Coast, Asbury Park is keeping abreast of
vacationers' changing tastes: It is considering letting women go topless on a
city beach." Memo to Garden State travel and tourism officials:
Suttle World just can't see (and doesn't want to see) anything that includes
both the Jersey shore and nudity having a positive impact on bringing in
thongless throngs of visitors.
...Helen Thomas quit over two weeks ago, and civilization as we know it (save the vuvuzela) continues to carry on quite well, thank you.
...Once again getting the week off to a strong start is cuzin Matt and another stellar installment of Bruner's Texas Takes >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
June 27, 2010
..."VIENNA (Reuters) A Spanish precious
metals trading company bought the world's largest gold coin for 3.27 million
euros ($4.02 million), it
s exact material worth, from the estate of an insolvent
investment firm at a rare auction in Vienna on Friday." Suttle World
sees some problems with this particular transaction. First, as the gentle
surfer can tell from the depiction to the right, this sucker is really going to
weigh down the old pocket. Lifting the coin into a vending machine could
cause serious injury. Third, try getting Abu to break a $3 million coin
for a pack of cigarettes. Just another Susan B. Anthony debacle.
...Scoring five times during the World Cup might seem like a lot, but it proved insufficient for the US team, as they came up short against Ghana (2-1 in extra mystery time) in the round of 16 yesterday. And so, mercifully, World Cup BHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM updates will become fewer and farther between in the coming days.
..."(AP) LONDON Doctors could one day use a blood test to predict decades in advance when women will go into menopause, scientists say." Researches went on to point out that the positive impact on men's health could be dramatic, with males now given up to a decade to arm and otherwise prepare themselves for the coming onslaught.
...The AP headlines reads: "Frenchman convicted for hacking Obama's Twitter." Suttle World does care for any further details.
...If a sole bidder is willing to pay nearly $200,000 for Michael Jackson's glove, Suttle World is stunned to imagine what folks will be will to pony up for his hand and other miscellaneous body parts that could come to auction in the near future.
June 26, 2010
...And following a much deserved day of down time for Suttle World, its back to the fray with another Every Day Is Saturday update. If only the rest of the world would provide some decent material with which to work.
...First health care reform, and now the financial sector has been put completely at eas with the passage and signing of a new regulatory scheme placed upon the money changers. Suttle World sees great similarities in the two pieces of legislation. Both were literally passed in the middle of the night. Both run on for hundreds and hundreds of pages, and as to what is exactly in both bills is unknown to anyone in the known universe. Suttle World has this suspicion that when both laws are fully read and implemented, that stock brokers will have to perform free colonoscopies on their clients while doctors will be compelled to offer financial planning advise to their patients at a reduced cost.
...Yes, North Carolina, is truly "a wonder
land of variety. From coast to mountains its great to be right here in
North Carolina." To date, Suttle World h
as
found the most entertaining part about once again becoming a Tar Hell is living
so proximate to South Carolina. The Palmetto Bug state is one whacky
little slice of land.
...Suttle World is outraged. At one time there were American institutions of great integrity---rock solid and dependable. Among such vaunted groups is that which annually picks the world's ugliest dog. To the right the gentle surfer will find Kathleen Francis, of Clearlake, CA, clutching her purebred Chihuahua "Princess Abby" after winning the World's Ugliest Dog Contest Friday, June 25, 2010, in Petaluma, CA. This is an insult to all previous winners. This dog almost looks normal, and its owner, is in fact, uglier than the animal. Suttle World wants the three eyed, butt faced winners of the past. The true ugly dogs.
June 24, 2010
...President Obama's decision to fire Gen. Stanley McChrystal is wholly appropriate and called for. This won't get US troops out of Afghanistan by next year as the president has promised, but mark one up in the win column for the current commander-in-chief.
...Props to the US team that scored in the third minute of mystery time to beat Algeria 1-nil yesterday in World Cup "action." BHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! By virtue of the victory, the US wins its division (the really tough one that also included England and Slovenia), and advances to the sweet 16 to face another third world nation at some point in the future. Now comes the elimination play that Suttle World really likes---games tied after 120 minutes of play are decided with the equivalent of a slam dunk contest.
June 23, 2010
...Would President Reagan please pick up the white courtesy phone?
June 22, 2010
..."(AP) CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. Mercury astronaut John Glenn wants NASA's space shuttles to keep flying until a reliable replacement is ready, no matter how long it takes." Memo to John Glenn: you're an old guy with less juice than Sunny Delight. You have no more votes to sell on the Senate floor for another ride, so its time to moth ball the universe's most expensive ferry.
...The gentle surfer need only consult a
thermometer, as opposed to any astronomical reference, to know that summer has
arrived. High temps are forecast in the low 90s in and around the 2250
foot elevation of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 today.
...Much like the broken clock that is correct twice daily, the flashing Suttle World home page alert that cuzin Matt's Texas Takes is "Updated Today!" once again comes to be the case, as our Texas denizens gets the summer season off to a stellar start with yet another excellent installment from Mr. Bruner.
June 21, 2010
..."Suttle World still thinks 284/even can win this sucker." (Suttle World, June 20, 2010) Props to Graeme McDowell (the namesake of Suttle World's native county) for posting an even par 284 to win the 110th US Open Championship yesterday evening at Pebble Beach. It was as wild a final round for an Open that Suttle World can recall, and well deserving of its status as the third of five High Holy Days of Sport on the Suttle World conical calendar.
...Many a gentle surfer was under the impression that "the big one, Elizabeth" would come in the form of epidemic infectious disease. This train of thought may be close. "SYDNEY (AFP) It's the World Cup instrument that has irked the globe -- and now, the vuvuzela is coming to an Asian country near you, courtesy of an Australian retailer." North and South America can't be far behind---followed by Europe. Much like the Dark Ages, the era shall become known as the time of the St. Vidas Deafness. BHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
...A quick glance at the political notebook, would have the crucial toss up state of Florida, and its whopping 27 Electoral votes, trending away from the blame first, and do nothing later policy of the current Democratic administration, and its lack of adequate response to the Gulf oil leak. Suttle World advises ABC to dust off Ted Koppel---its day 62. Time to get a late night news program devoted to the subject as the re-run of the Carter administration continues. The Mary Tyler Moore Show was much more entertaining.
..."(AP) SALISBURY, England Thousands of New Agers and neo-pagans danced and whooped in delight Monday as a bright early morning sun rose above the ancient stone circle Stonehenge, marking the summer solstice. About 20,000 people crowded the prehistoric site on Salisbury Plain, southern England, to see the sunrise at 4:52 A.M. (1152 EST), following an annual all-night party." Whether the gentle surfer is chanting a mantra or not, the season of summer has arrived. Please be governed accordingly.
...With the boxes up, Suttle World struck a gentle, yet crisp, six iron high and 160 yards to the center of the first green of the Highland Lake Golf Course yesterday morning with its tee shot. Three putts later, and it was all downhill form there. And, so, the re-tooling effort begins in earnest (a situation, about which, he is none too thrilled). The track continues to struggle with its Bermuda fairways that were damn near destroyed by a very severe winter (and finally showing some improvement), but each of the nine greens in is tremendous condition.
June 20, 2010
...If it is indeed the 2010 High Holy Day of Sport number 3/5, it must also be Fathers Day, and Suttle World extends its best wishes to gentle surfers in the effected class.
...Tiger and Dustin Johnson (huh?) post amazing 66s yesterday, as the rest of the US Open field merely tries to hold on at Pebble Beach. Johnson birdies 17 and 18 on the way home, and holds a three stroke advantage over the pesky Graeme McDowell, and leads Eldrick by five. There are no other red numbers to be found, and Suttle World still thinks 284/even can win this sucker. Coverage starts at 3:00 on NBC. Johnson and McDowell are off at 5:15, so whomever wins this Championship will do so in prime time for east coast denizens.
...The Fathers Day tradition of dad and the family gathering around the TV, and watching Slovakia play Paraguay continues this morning in BHMMMMMMMMMMMMM World Cup "action." Its sorta like the Lions on Thanksgiving, only worse.
...A melancholy AMF to Manute Bol who shuffled off this mortal coil yesterday. The 7-7 former Sudanese NBA player died from complications of being 7-7. Bol devoted most of his off season efforts, and spent his entire retirement working tirelessly for worthy causes to provide aid, and end poverty and disease on his native continent. He was 47.
..."BRUSSELS (AFP) Cyclists stripped naked and braved the elements in Brussels Saturday for the annual two-wheel nude demonstration "cyclonudista" against car traffic in cities." Stop the music! Suttle World will stipulate that it has not seen the data, but speculates that a group of naked bicyclists tends to slow traffic, as opposed to improving same, the protestors stated cause. Mit)h is indeed an international bon vivant.
June 19, 2010
...(AP) WASHINGTON Campbell Soup Co. is
recalling 15 million pounds of SpaghettiOs with meatballs" after company
officials released a statement that,
in part, read: "we just can't sell this crap anymore. It tastes
like dog food, and may as well be named CarcinogenOs." This affords
Suttle World the opportunity to once again beat the dead horse (quickly, before
the next vat of SpaghettiOs with meatballs is prepared) that is prima facie
evidence of the disingenuous arguments of Democrats and others who have
supported health deform. Suttle World has yet to hear President Obama,
Speaker Pelosi nor any of their minions plead with their countrymen to put down
the Beanie-Weenies, and get off the couch on a daily basis. If the gentle
surfer significantly reduces the amount of chronic illness in the good old US of
A (the majority of which is self inflicted), "health care" ceases to
be an issue. The entire debate has had absolutely nothing to do with
making folks healthier. Its all about controlling/firmly grasping the
short hairs of a seventh of the entire US economy.
...While strolling down the dead horse beating aisle...Upon further reflection, Suttle World is increasingly convinced that if western civilization had not had to withstand the devastating blows dealt by killer bees, swine flu and the Y2K debacle, the planet would be much better prepared for global warming...err, climate change...err, we need to alter some more emails and other data. Just hang on...
...Pebble Beach is a monster for all but Phil who posted a remarkable 66 yesterday to join four others at one under par after 36 holes of the 110th US Open Championship that is currently led by Graeme McDowell at -3. As is the tradition, things get real interesting on moving day---or evening depending on the gentle surfer's perspective. The last group doesn't tee off until nearly 7:00 (EDT). Wind and weather could well be factors, but the way this track has been tricked up, if within five of the lead, Suttle World would gladly record 142/even for the final two rounds, and just wait in the clubhouse. NBC picks up coverage at 4:30---sparing the gentle surfer from any further exposure to Chris Berman during the Championship. Tiger stands six back at four under after a lackluster round that he immediately blamed on British Petroleum, and vowed that the company will pay for any lost prize money this week.
...On to the thrilling....BHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...action in South Africa at the World Cup where Suttle World officially declares that the US got jobbed by the call that disallowed their go ahead goal against Slovenia yesterday. Regardless, it all evens out (see: gimmie goal allowed by England against the US in their first match). Second, its freakin Slovenia. How does one get behind Slovenia 2-0 for starters? Fortunately, the upper class twits of the year, in the form of England fought Algeria to a thrilling, scoreless draw. Bride of Suttle World observes that this year's seemingly poor goaltending is not a function of Vaseline, rather FIFA's endorsement deal with Hamburger Helper that requires all goalies to where that oven mitt dude on their hands.
June 18, 2010
...Finally back at the helm, Suttle World returns
just in time to bust down the current major world events that dramatically
effect the life of the gentle surfer, and affords the weekend to fully
contemplate, digest and be forever enriched by such tidings.
...Round 1 of the US Open is in the books, and two stand atop the leader board, with both Shaun Micheel and Paul Casey posting 2 under, 69s in perfect conditions at Pebble Beach that has been made vewy vewy hard. Suttle World rarely speculates as to how a leaderboard is going to look come the end of a Championship, and this year is no exception. Simply watch and enjoy as all prepare for Sunday---the 2010 High Holy Day of Sport III/V. The only trick is the "watch and enjoy" part while including audio during the final half of ESPN's prime time coverage. US policy does not allow interrogation techniques as vicious as the torture of being exposed to several hours of Chris, the human vuvuzela, Berman "hosting" coverage. True: "these guys are good." True: Berman is awful. It doesn't quite rise to the excruciating level of Berman being paired with Mrs. Nancy Lopez for an entire evening of baseball, but it comes damn close. Suttle World has been at it so long, that its no longer a featured item in Suttle World, but the Buy Out Berman Project remains a work in progress. Coverage begins at 1:00 (EDT) on ESPN, switches to NBC at 3:00, and then back to ESPN at 5:00 for their dentist drill prime time airing.
...Props to the Los Angeles Lakers on what turned into a damn good seven game series against the Celts. Suttle World's eyelids would not cooperate until the final buzzer, but fell with confidence that LA would return from an 8 point deficit/22% shooting first half.
...The highly anticipated US v. Slovenia World Cup match is set to begin at 9:30 (EDT) this morning. Its being called a must win for the US, and Suttle World has no disagreement. If you can't beat Slovenia, you don't deserve to advance in the World Cup. As to the "action' through the first week, did Suttle World miss the memo that goal tenders have to put Vaseline on their hands this year in an attempt to increase scoring? The net minding has been awful on each of the six or so goals Suttle World has witnessed over the past seven days. BHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
...The gentle surfer is welcomed to day number 59 of "America held hostage in the Gulf," and counting. By Suttle World's calculations, the next Inauguration Day is less that two and a half years away.
..."PRAGUE (AFP) A Prague tram driver chased his runaway tram on a bike, caught it after a lengthy ride, but ended up in hospital with a heart attack, the Czech daily DNES reported on Friday. The empty unbraked tram crashed through a closed gate at a depot in western Prague and sped on to the tracks, crossing a busy four-lane street in the process." Suttle World hates it when that happens.
June 14, 2010
...Major Suttle World props to the Montpelier HS golf team that finished third in the Vermont State Championship tournament this past weekend. Alec Waring turned in a respectable 99 for the Solons at the Ralph Myhre (any relation?) Golf Course in Middlebury.
...While in the golf aisle, Robert Garrigus meet
Jean Van de Velde. Plunking a tee shot in the drink on the 72nd hole of a
PGA tournament with a three stroke lead is a choke. No problem, but the
second shot by Garrigus was calculated Mit)hness rivaled only by the
Frenchy. Second, of course, is the pending US Open championship that will
get underway Thursday at Pebble Beach.
...Holy one-nil, Batman. Pictured to the right the gentle surfer will find a depiction of the nameless faceless idiot that makes watching any World Cup game impossible with the sound on. This makes leaving a muted one-nil game as the only alternative, and that holds all the attraction to Suttle World of watching paint dry---rated just slightly below a one-nil match with full audio. Suttle World does give credit to FIFA for considering banning the vuvuzela. Suttle World just doesn't get it. If a fan wants to toot its horn when the home team is doing well, great. But these morons start blowing upon arrival and don't quit even after the last of mystery time has expired, and the match ends (one-nil). The noise level doesn't ever change, regardless of what takes place on the field. The remainder of the crowd is inaudible. Suttle World declares the vuvuzela to be dumber than a one-nil Algeria/Slovenia match.
...The Celtics just won't go away, and now lead the NBA final series that is headed back to Los Angeles Thursday night for game six (and seven if necessary).
...For a fourth time President Obama will visit areas of the Gulf Coast that have been affected by the leaking BP rig. Suttle World is unsure as to why the president must make a fourth trip. Perhaps he's been assigned to bring sandwiches. Regardless, the gentle surfer will be treated to lots o video showing Obama and concerned workers in greasy hip waders chasing after oil covered ducks with a bottle of Dawn. What won't likely be shown are that the pristine, white sand beaches of the overwhelming majority of the Gulf Coast remain in that condition, and where there are no expectations of any change. Meanwhile, a third of the tourist season is over, and no one is showing up largely because of media coverage that has only focused on the few icky areas.
June 12, 2010
...No rest for the weary Suttle World even on an Every Day Is Saturday. Such is of little consequence to the gentle surfer as the world's biggest sporting event is now officially underway. Yes, the 2010 World Cup has started. 32 teams, 100+ matches, and 14 goals over three weeks. What's not to like?
June 11, 2010
...Jimmy Carter 2.0 a/k/a President Obama, and his own hostage crisis (over 50 days have passed since up from the ocean come some bubblin' crude) marks the official end of this administration. Suttle World is not pleased by the natural disaster, but the ultimately rather benign impact (excepting the thousands of small businesses that shall perish and never return due to the summer in which the tourists never came) of this incident is more than worth ensuring the community activist serves only one term. If only BP's pipe had busted prior to the vote on the health care deform bill, but why play make believe, when the gentle surfer can revel in the now fully exposed abject incompetence of the executive branch? Suttle World takes no particular satisfaction of reminding the gentle surfer that it "told you so," but Suttle World "told you so" early and often. Suttle World would also like to take this opportunity to once again thank President Reagan (and Lady Thatcher) for putting an end to the Soviet Union---one less thing about which to be concerned as the current idiots finish the last two years of their king of the hill gig.
...Either Suttle World is experiencing a 24+ hour
hallucination, or the Chicago Blackhawks are the current Stanley Cup Champions.
...Bringing the second work week of June to a fitting end, Suttle World is proud to once again present to the gentle surfer, the sage words and amazing insight into the human condition that are always found in an installment of Bruner's Texas Takes
June 10, 2010
...Suttle World sends major props to the Chicago Blackhawks and their long suffering fans for proudly hoisting the Stanley Cup this morning, following a tremendous overtime win over the Flyers last night in Philly. An original six team, with a 49 year long drought all the while sporting far and away the game's coolest logo/sweaters---what's not to like?
...Following a five and a half hour meeting in an environment akin to a third world subway station yesterday afternoon, Suttle World now has a much better feel for what a day in the life for an apparatchik in the former Soviet Union was like BITD.
..."(AP) A South Korean rocket carrying a climate observation satellite apparently exploded 137 seconds into its flight early Thursday, the country's second major space setback in less than a year." Suttle World certainly hopes the report is correct. Suttle World would also remind the gentle surfer that South Korea initially said an internal explosion "sank their battleship" a few months ago, when now it would seem clear that those gosh darn North Koreans had a heavy hand in the incident. Memo to President Obama: Mr. President, here's a chance to get at least one thing right before you and Michelle move in with Jimmy and Rosalynn down in Plains, and you would be the first guy since Truman to do so. Get US troops the hell out of Korea! For well over 50 years, the small deployment has served as nothing but cannon fodder should the North decide to cross the 38th parallel.
..."(AP) WASHINGTON Transgender travelers no longer will need surgery in order to change their stated genders on U.S. passports, the State Department said Wednesday." Foul cries Suttle World! This all gets back to profiling. Suttle World finds it perfectly reasonable to give greater scrutiny to the man in Bedouin gear, leading a goat, with his tennis shoes emitting sparks than a 80 year old black female in a wheelchair with a nebulizer. Same deal with the "transgender" crowd. First, there's that nagging issue of semantics. Suttle World reminds the gentle surfer that gender is a function of language, whereas sex is a function of biology. Ergo "transgender" is a malapropism at best. Second, if as opposed to going through the whole ying to yang surgery, if dude just shows up in full drag, Suttle World speculates that like our above referenced goat leading friend, that this is a passenger (its all about passports, right?) worthy of much greater scrutiny than grandma. Factor in the very limited number of employees eager to render such scrutiny, and you get down to the Suttle World bottom line: full sex change, or show up for the flight as originally advertised.
June 9, 2010
...Twas a most pleasant five day hiatus that that began at the mighty French Broad River, crossed the winding Tennessee and ended at the Mississippi, only to turn around and make the reverse shlep. 1,093 miles logged. Two excellent Shernoff shows seen. Cheetah Chrome met! Many things seen in Memphis. Three nights in two super downtown properties. One night at the Bates Motel during the return passage. Details to follow, as Suttle World hits the ground running upon its return, and has precious time for only a brief update this morning.
June 4, 2010
...Suttle World and bide of Suttle World embark on the pseudo-Hajj this morning. The first leg is Nashville, and a 7:30 show by Andy Shernoff.
...Props to the Montpelier High School golf team that is advancing to the Vermont state championship for the first time in nearly a decade. The squad is aided mightily by one Alec Waring. Details here.
June 1, 2010
...Suttle World believes it was President Franklin Pierce who said, "there is no better way to begin the fine month of June than savoring the wit and wisdom of cuzin Matt. Be it Pierce, Harrison, or Polk, the former chief executive was quite correct, ergo the sixth month of 2010 starts with another stellar installment of Bruner's Texas Takes.
...A mere four days remain until Suttle World and bride of Suttle World embark a pseudo red neck Hajj--- back-to-back nights of Andy Shernoff weaving yarns of BITD interspersed with rearranged, and remarkably great sounding Dictators tunes performed only on Adny's acoustical guitar in Nashville June 4 and Memphis June 5. The itinerary remains somewhat TBD, but most likely involves a second full day in Memphis, before the 10 hour return passage on June 7-8.
WORLD 
