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Mission Statement

Twain wrote: "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug."  With that in mind please allow me to show you the neat little periodically illuminated jar with holes punched in the lid for air that is Suttle World.

Thursday, August 28, 2008
                                                             Mr. Eraser just keeps coming up with good ideas.  As  opposed to deleting these sage rants, why not archive them for generations to come?
Suttle Security Council Daily Briefing Archives 

                                       The Internet Tollbooth of Exact "Change "

A most historical day in the life

...Forty-five years ago today  Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., stood on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, and spoke before a quarter million people assembled for the March on Washington.  In one of the most famous speeches in the history of the English language, King said: "But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition.  In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."  In a sense, Barack Obama has endorsed that check by receiving the nomination of the Democratic party for president of the United States.  It is truly historic, uplifting and inspiring.  The check will eventually be cashed when such an event occurs in the future without comment.  Of course, Suttle World wouldn't vote for Benson with a subpoena, but Suttle World can only begin to imagine the emotions of those who rode in the back of the bus and also watched last night's event.

...History notwithstanding, it was a pretty dull night for the Dems.  Bubba's speech was remarkably short, supportive of the nominee with only a few outright lies tossed out regarding the current economy.  Basically, the first black president declared that Benson could "pass."  Very disappointing, but he looked marvelous, and yes, like the gentle surfer, Suttle World could see the thoughts of both Bubba and Satan as he spoke:  "we stayed married for this!?"  The former president did get one thing right, the current US military is not up to many challenges in a very unsettled world at present.  What he failed to mention is that state of affairs is largely due to his decimating the armed forces during his 8 year tenure. Tonight nominee Benson makes his big acceptance speech in front of the Parthenon that was disassembled in Greece and shipped to Denver for the event at Mile High.  Suttle World is going to head out on the limb again, and predict Benson will mention change in his address.  Suttle World is still unsure of what is being changed and to what, but greatly appreciates that many gentle surfers cannot be bothered by such minutiae. 

...Georgia Tech gets the 2008 NCAA football season underway for a both Divisions 1 and 2 as they courageously take on Jacksonville State tonight on North Avenue.  Yes, football is here---with most high schools already having one game under their belts.  Fantasy drafts are coming fast and furious as the NFL prepares for its last pre-season games this weekend, and, more importantly (this "lead" is supposed to be the first sentence) the autumnal collegiate sports season is also underway.  A quick 1,100 mile glance up the eastern seaboard finds Endicott College in lovely Beverly, MA where freshperson midfielder Kaitlin Waring will make her debut for the Gulls as they open their soccer season against dreaded Babson (didn't she used play doubles with Bunny?).  Endicott is looking to win their sixth consecutive conference (The TCCC-Tiny College Competition Conference) championship, and are predicted to do so in a pre-season poll.  Lowly Regis is the underdog in the league, and rightfully so, having just turned 77, and competing against a full squad of 20 year olds.  Being a Patriot cum Colonial, Suttle World isn't terribly impressed with the avian consistency, but is most taken by the tremendous academic, athletic and all around good gal achievements---all this as IV begins his junior year at BC.  The above graph is not only awkward, but also theoretical as Suttle World refuses to accept that the offspring of peers are nearing graduation from higher education.

..."(AJC) The FBI arrested Wednesday one of its “10 Most Wanted” fugitives on charges of murdering two Columbus State University students last year.  According to a news release on the arrests, Michael Jason Registe was captured in St. Maarten after a series of tips led authorities to a guest house in the Belvedere section of Dutch St. Maarten in the Caribbean.  This, of course is good news, but also causes Suttle World to ponder the late George Carlin's comments on the subject of the 10 most wanted.  Presumably, now that one of the top ten has been arrested, another name will be added.  Does that guy then call his family and friends to tell them the "big news?"  The other side of the coin being if a more notorious criminal is added to an already full list, causing someone to be bumped.  Is that guy dejected, feeling disrespected?

..."(AP) NEW YORK - Talk about an extreme makeover: Scientists have transformed one type of cell into another in living mice, a big step toward the goal of growing replacement tissues to treat a variety of diseases."  Probably the most significant news of the day.  A "big step" is an incredible understatement.  If a mutated rapidly dividing cell/cancer can be turned into a non mutated rapidly dividing cell...

August 27, 2008    Left lick twice---no thanks

..."(AP) ATLANTA - The tireless tongue already controls taste and speech, helps kiss and swallow and fights germs. Now scientists hope to add one more ability to the mouthy muscle, and turn it into a computer control pad."  Suttle World will pass, citing taste and sanitation objections to stay with the trusty fingers.

...Hot off the wire:  "DENVER (CNN) – Hillary Clinton will be on hand for Barack Obama's acceptance speech, but according to a source close to former President Bill Clinton, he will not: the source tells CNN that Clinton will not join his wife at Invesco Field Thursday night."  Satan's speech last night was more than adequate, and while hope is dwindling, Suttle World can still hold out for some sort of floor fight regarding tonight's roll call, or Thursday's VP nomination.

August 26, 2008    Democrats:  we're not dead yet

..."[t]he torch will be passed again to a new generation of Americans..." so sayeth Sen. Ted Kennedy in a "surprise" short speech to the first night of the Democratic National Convention in Denver.  Suttle World hastens to point out that the torch is only a metaphor.  An actual lit torch would emit greenhouse gasses and further contribute to manmade global warming.  Meanwhile, wife of Benson did just fine---didn't say shit, but did it in an appropriate, cheerful manner.  The markets also chimed in with their own special welcoming present for delegates, with the DOW down nearly 250 points for the week's first day of trading.

..."(AP) WASHINGTON - Talk about animal magnetism, cows seem to have a built-in compass. No bull: Somehow, cattle seem to know how to find north and south, say researchers who studied satellite photos of thousands of cows around the world.  Most cattle that were grazing or resting tended to align their bodies in a north-south direction, a team of German and Czech researchers reports in Tuesday's issue of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.  And the finding held true regardless of what continent the cattle were on, according to the study led by Hynek Burda and Sabine Begall of the faculty of biology at the University of Duisburg-Essen in Germany."  Yet another contract falls through the hands of the Suttle World Institute of Studying Really Stupid Stuff (pouring over satellite pictures of cows?!!!).  No map, no gas station, no problem:  just stop and ask a cow for directions.

..."(Reuters) On average, an uninsured American pays $583 out of pocket toward average annual medical costs of $1,686 per person, Hadley's team reported in the journal Health Affairs. The annual medical costs of Americans with private insurance average far more -- $3,915, with $681, or 17 percent, paid out of pocket, the report found."  And that doesn't count the cost of insurance premiums.  So liberals want to socialize a health care system, or 14% of US GDP, so that 47 million uninsured Americans can save an average of $583 in doctors bills each year?

...Current charts and graphs indicate stately Roberts/Suttle Manor is in for an Auntie Em moment in the next 10-15 minutes, as north Georgia welcomes the drenching rains that are the remnants of Fay.  Survival means same Bat time, same Bat station for tomorrow's shenanigans (great kid game show from BITD that nobody remembers).  Destruction means its been fun.

August 25, 2008    Study: crack heads have unprotected sex

..."(AJC) A study that interviewed HIV-infected crack users at Grady Memorial Hospital highlighted the risky behavior and lack of care among this population.  Researchers interviewed 190 HIV-infected crack-using patients at Grady and Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami over 14 months.  One-fourth of the group reported having unprotected sex in the last six months, half had not seen an HIV specialist in the last six months, and more than three-fourths were not getting important medical treatments."  Another opportunity missed by the Suttle World Institute of Studying Really Stupid Stuff.  In other shocking findings, the study uncovered that crack users also failed to brush after every meal and did not look both ways before crossing streets.

..."(AP) Omaha, Neb. — Nebraska’s new “safe-haven” law allowing parents to abandon unwanted children at hospitals with no questions asked is unique in a significant way: It goes beyond babies and potentially permits the abandonment of anyone under 19."  Insert joke here.

..."(New York Post) A one-legged hooker was killed in Brooklyn after a john hit her over the head, causing her to fall backwards out of her wheelchair and slam her skull against the wall, cops said yesterday."  Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) called called the tragedy just another casualty of the Bush tax cuts for the rich.

August 24, 2008    Olympics mercifully set to end

..."(AP) BEIJING - A Spanish tenor, a British soccer star and a throng of kung-fu fighters are among the scheduled closing-ceremony attractions Sunday night as China concludes its first Olympics and hands over the role of Summer Games to London."  The operative, and most important word, is CLOSING, be it with kung-fu fighters or midget wrestlers.  Finally, the world's largest commercial advertisement can be put back into the closet for another four years.

..."(AP) ELKIN, N.C. - David Hayes' granddaughter just asked him to hold her Barbie rod and reel while she went to the bathroom. He did. [Suttle World assumes she did as well] And seconds later he landed the state record channel catfish at 21 pounds, 1 ounce.  The Winston-Salem Journal reported the catch Aug. 5 in eastern Wilkes County has been certified as a record by the North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission.  Hayes said his granddaughter worried he would break her rod. He landed the 21-pound fish on a 6-pound test line. It was 32 inches long, 2 inches longer than the rod."  Attention Bass Pro Shop customers:  the final facade of fishing has now fallen like a sound stage's cardboard set.  What most have suspected for many years is now axiomatic:  fishing is an excuse to drink beer, period.  Fear not my addled angling amigo, just because you've been "outed," this could still be a very liberating and lucrative turn of events.  No longer must fishing dude spend hours perusing the aisles of Bass Pro Shop and similar retailers to drop thousands of dollars in an attempt to make their rouse look legit.  Now, all that money and time can be spent buying and drinking more beer.  Suttle World and Falstaff, the official beer of Suttle World, salute fishermen worldwide on getting over for several millennium. 

...The Atlanta Braves are celebrating the 30th anniversary of one of the worst teams in MLB history by performing the remainder of the season in a similar fashion to honor Preston Hanna and his fellow teammates on the '78 Braves that came close to losing 100 games.  They were beaten unmercifully Friday night at St. Louis, where the Cardinals pounded Braves pitchers for 26 hits in an 18-3 thrashing at Busch Stadium.  Yesterday, they fell out of character by erupting for five runs in the last two innings of an 8-4 win that snapped a six-game losing skid.  Atlanta would have to go 8-24 for the remainder of the 2008 campaign to equal the '78 club's 97 losses, but Suttle World believes it to be within the grasp of this particular team.

...Props to Commissioner Jordan on the completion of the most successful season ever in Wiffle Atlanta's four year history.  The 2008 campaign came to a close yesterday afternoon after completion of an All-Star game that required 12 innings to resolve.  Suttle World will not attempt to recreate the awards that were handed out for fear of getting some wrong.  What is certain is that the 2008 John Smoltz award was won overwhelmingly by fellow Suttle World Senator, Neil Bowen.  Cuzin Neil did not lead the league in ERA, settling instead for an 8-1-1 record in 70 innings pitched.  Also announced yesterday by the Commissioner, was that the league is going to try an short, experimental fall league.  Details are TBD.

August 23, 2008    Benson picks Biden

..."WASHINGTON (AP) - Barack Obama named Sen. Joe Biden of Delaware as his vice presidential running mate early Saturday, balancing his ticket with a seasoned congressional veteran well-versed in foreign policy and defense issues."  The long national nightmare is over.  Suttle World likes Biden, and believes him to have been Benson's best choice---bringing strong, albeit misguided, foreign policy credentials to a campaign that has struggled at times in its banter with the press concerning international issues.  In fact, Biden's fate was sealed when Benson gave this answer to the evangelical Saddleback Church in Orange County last Saturday.

...Tropical Storm Fay brought along with her the annual Florida Feces Float Festival as heavy rains have given the Sunshine State and south Georgia a major soggy beat down this week.  Now she's on the move to the northwest at hefty 7 MPH pace.  BFD says the gentle surfer who is not located in the storm's path.  That is until it is understood that residual bands of Fay may well effect Wiffle Atlanta's season ending soirée today at Glenlake Park in Decatur.  On tap for the final day of action are the Rookie Game, Home Run Derby, and the always highly anticipated late summer classic, the Wiffle Atlanta All-Star Game.  All-Star rosters were announced Thursday. Rain shouldn't be much of an issue, but air speed may,  with a wind advisory in effect.  Still, its fan appreciation day.  Each paid admission is guaranteed to not be killed by heat stroke on a late August afternoon in the ATL.  Suttle World dares the gentle surfer to find that kind of deal anywhere else..  Also on tap for today are the announcement of this year's award winners.  Guided well by NHL tradition, Commissioner Jordan has quite rightly decided to name some of the various awards, and has also been deferential to his adopted home town by using great Braves as namesakes for the honors.  The amusing part has been to watch the discussion of which Braves to choose.  The John Smoltz Award will be given to the league's best pitcher, and there was much back and forth as whether Greg Maddux or Tom Glavine should not also receive consideration.  One even suggested Phil Niekro.  All are or will be Hall of Famers, and well worthy of consideration.  What Suttle World found rib tickling was that nobody mentioned the winingest left hander in MLB history, and the only Brave to play in Boston, Milwaukee and Atlanta.  The Chipper Jones Awards is given to the player with the best year at the plate.  No mention of a guy Suttle World recalls being the MLB all time RBI leader, second in at-bats, home runs, third in all time hits, etc...  With Andruw Jones gone, there's a mystery as to for whom the Gold Glove should now be named, and no mention of Clete Boyer---a relatively short time Braves, but as good a defensive third baseman the game has ever seen.  Just ask Brooks Robinson.  Memo to the yungins:  these are not dead ball era players!

..."(AP) NEW YORK - Olympic superstar Michael Phelps will write a book telling the story behind his historic eight gold medal swims just in time for the holiday season, Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, announced Friday."  Now that's news.  Suttle World recommends the new fine point Sharpie for the first draft---it doesn't run when it gets wet.  Sources close to Suttle World, indicate that Phelps may actually appear in a television commercial before the year's end.

...Speaking of Suttle World sources, props to correspondent Dirk Bremen, who has been quite rightly been acknowledged by the prestigious website zoominfo.com---THE place to "find people and companies™"   Though preliminary work has begun on Dirk's profile (that can be accessed by scrolling down the page to his name on the alphabetically listed page linked above), advice and counsel has also been sought from a select group of others---each warm personal friends of Dirk who have been asked to appropriately characterize Bremen's resume.  

..."(WNBC.com) Verlyn and Judith Adamson of Mount Horeb each claimed a $350,000 jackpot this week for having the winning numbers in the state SuperCash drawing last Saturday.  But they didn't mention at the time that they also held two more of the winning tickets.  They claimed two more $350,000 jackpots Thursday. All four were purchased at different locations, but with the same numbers and for the same drawing.  Verlyn Adamson, an accountant, said earlier in the week that he's a big fan of math puzzles. He claims he developed a formula for lottery picks, but his winnings have been small until now.  But Steven Post, a mathematics professor at Edgewood College in Madison, said there is no way to devise a strategy for finding the winning numbers in a game that uses randomly generated numbers to determine the winning combination."  Suttle World greatly appreciates Professor Post's insight into this issue.  They're stupid freakin' ping pong balls!  They don't remember the last number sucked up the shoot!

...CHICAGO (Reuters) - There's a new sheriff in jail.  Sheriff Mark Curran of Lake County, Illinois, walked into his own jail on Wednesday to spend a week as a prisoner, saying he was divinely inspired to learn what it was like to be confined and to sample jail programs designed to reduce recidivism."  Suttle World isn't certain about the ecumenical angle, but, generally speaking, believes it to be a damn good idea.

August 22, 2008     Farewell Gene Upshaw

...A most regretful AMF to Gene Upshaw.  Suttle World wants to set the record straight.  Yes, Upshaw, as long time head of the player's union, never conquered  the issue of guaranteed contracts, and perhaps was not the best advocate retired players had.  Now the objective part.  Upshaw played 245 NFL games as an interior lineman in three different decades.  In his term as NFLPA president, NFL players saw a greater increase in their average salaries than did any other athletes in any other professional sport.  This year, the players will take home 60% of the league's gross revenue.  Upshaw was a giant, and won the ultimate battle against a younger group of misguided players by dying before he could be fired.

...Inquiring minds want to know.  Idle minds, such as Suttle World's just sit and wonder about really stupid stuff.  Suttle World can envision a kinda whacky, ardent McCain supporter see his guy take a couple of shots to the chops late this week---the uncertainty about his housing inventory, and Benson supposedly having each gentle surfer's shorts about to be soiled anxiously awaiting announcement of his running mate.  So what's our whacky supporter to do?  Cram a threatening note and some Sweet N' Lo into an couple envelopes and mail them to various campaign headquarters?  Sure changes the news agenda.  Sure its a whacky theory, but the pre dawn hours percolate whacky notions.

..."(Times Online) The International Olympic Committee has ordered an investigation into mounting allegations that Chinese authorities covered up the true age of their gold-medal winning gymnastics star because she was too young to compete."  Ever willing to cooperate, the Chinese government said it would immediately begin scouring 1.3 billion birth certificates in order to authenticate the young lady's eligibility.  Of course, Chinese chick is 12, but aside from amputating a limb and counting rings in the stump... 

..."NEW YORK (AFP) - With a fortune estimated at 35 billion dollars, Thailand's King Bhumibol Adulyadej is the world's richest royal sovereign, and oil-rich Sheikh Khalifa Bin Zayed Al Nahyan of Abu Dhabi is far back at No. 2, Forbes magazine reported Thursday."  And Suttle World thought Yul Brynner was dead.

..."(AP) Harvard University is the country's oldest, wealthiest and most selective university. Now it's back on top of the U.S. News & World Report college rankings, claiming sole possession of the No. 1 spot for the first time in 12 years.  Princeton slips to No. 2, ending eight straight years of at least sharing the top ranking. The latest edition hits newsstands Monday, but was to be published Friday on the magazine's Web site.  So how did Harvard edge past its Ivy League rival? A comparison of last year's numbers points to one category where it moved ahead of Princeton — average class size. Harvard reports the percentage of students in classes under 20 students rose from 69 percent to 75 percent since last year's report, while the percentage in classes bigger than 50 fell from 13 percent to 9 percent."  A spokesperson for Vision Bible College in Marsing, ID announced in a press conference yesterday, that the school would begin its push for next year's number one ranking by reducing class sizes 60%.  Suttle World would also point out the obvious---reduced demand often results in lower class sizes, although not necessarily the case here.

August 21, 2008    Benson's poll dance

...Young, fast, scientific and behind in several of the major polls.  Suttle World will not "call" Benson's campaign  by any means, having already been burned by the humiliation of premature rejection---pronouncing Uncle Ernie's campaign dead when it truly appeared lifeless in January.  Still, Zogby having McCain ahead by five points in this part of the game is a most interesting turn of events.  All other major polling organizations now have the race as a statistical dead heat.  Benson will deliver his sermon on the Mile High next Thursday.

..."WEDNESDAY, Aug. 20 (HealthDay News) -- Working-age Americans are facing mounting problems when it comes to affording health care, a result of what analysts are calling a "perfect storm" of economic woes.  In 2007, 41 percent of working-age Americans -- 72 million people -- reported having medical bill problems or trouble paying off medical debts, up from 34 percent in 2005."  The Suttle World Institute of Studying Really Stupid Stuff has looked at the data, and Suttle World comes away with a simple, singular conclusion:  bullshit.  The possible exception would be if "having medical bill problems" includes just not wishing to pay the suckers.

...Bringing more palatable offerings to the gentle surfer, comes cuzin Matt with another installment of Bruner's Texas Takes >>>>>>>>>

August 20, 2008    Bigfoot a shocking hoax

..."ATLANTA (AP) - Turns out Bigfoot was just a rubber suit. Two researchers on a quest to prove the existence of Bigfoot say that the carcass encased in a block of ice - handed over to them for an undisclosed sum by two men who claimed to have found it - was slowly thawed out, and discovered to be a rubber gorilla outfit.  Steve Kulls, executive director of squatchdetective.com and host of Squatchdetective Radio, says in a posting on a Web site run by Bigfoot researcher Tom Biscardi that as the "evidence" was thawed, the claim began to unravel as a giant hoax.  First, the hair sample was burned and "melted into a ball uncharacteristic of hair," Kulls said in the posting."  Suttle World just knew there would be a worthwhile payoff to the story---not in it being a hoax, but the mental image of "researchers" having just forked out big bucks, donned in really cool looking surgical gear purchased from a nearby medical supply store, waiting on the rubber monkey to thaw so that their meticulous testing could begin.  Put that scene on You Tube, and that's entertainment!....much more so than finding Big Foot. 

...Suttle World invites the gentle surfer to the land of make believe.  Make believe Michael Phelps has no notoriety.  Make believe, and mentally Photoshop the Sports Illustrated mast head from the pic to the right.  The Suttle World Institute of Studying Really Stupid Stuff did just that with a sample of 1,487 adult Americans.  When asked what the picture was, 86% responded an ad of a product for gay men, but they didn't know exactly what.  14% said it was a 1976 patron of a teen disco.  Sure, SI has become irrelevant, but people still occasionally look at the illustrated portion while waiting in the doctor's office. This is the legacy of 8 gold medals?  Suttle World trusts the  Wheaties box will be more kind. 

..."(LiveScience.com)  Men with big mugs are more aggressive, a new study of hockey players suggests.  Men in general have wider faces than women do, a difference in the sexes that emerges at puberty as testosterone levels rise. At the same time, testosterone is tied with aggression, leading researchers to search for a link between aggression and wide faces.  Aside from this being yet another piece of research better consigned to the previously mentioned Suttle World Institute of Studying Really Stupid Stuff, the story fails to mention if the researchers controlled for the variable that maybe hockey players with wide faces were angry over having their grills spread across a piece of Plexiglas in a violent fashion.  Previous studies show this  anger is also linked to aggression.

...Speaking of aggression, if the West doesn't become more aggressive with Russia regarding Georgia, what will be the response when they roll into the Ukraine---Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan?  Suttle World does fear dusting off the 40+ year old boogie man/the Domino Theory, but it seems a questions worthy of further examination.  Either that, or determine which candidate loves Jesus more.

..."(AP) SYDNEY, Australia - A lost humpback whale calf that bonded with a yacht it seems to think is its mother will likely die within days if it doesn't find another mother to adopt it, a wildlife official said Tuesday."  Let not the gentle surfer's heart be troubled.  Suttle World is confident that the humpback yellow short-boat will row by, apply the hockey helmet and lead the "navigationally challenged" calf to sea. (BITD such whales were simply called retarded---an appalling state of affairs, upon reflection).

..."(AP) BOSTON - Hall of Famer Carl Yastrzemski, the last player to hit for the Triple Crown, was resting comfortably Tuesday night after having triple bypass heart surgery. Yastrzemski, who turns 69 on Friday, had the operation at Massachusetts General Hospital, where he underwent tests after experiencing chest pains in the morning, said his spokesman, Dick Gordon."  Suttle World extends its best to Yaz for a full and speedy recovery.

..."(AP) SAN FRANCISCO - Hewlett-Packard Co. weathered economic turbulence remarkably well in the fiscal third quarter but the technology bellwether faces another big challenge — stiffer personal-computer competition — that threatens to slow its steady growth.  However, HP's profits were hurt by higher prices for some of its parts and a shift toward cheaper PCs, trends that are affecting other PC manufacturers but that HP offset somewhat with better sales of technology services and software. HP's gross profit margin — its profit on each dollar of revenue once manufacturing costs are stripped out — was 24.2 percent of revenues, down slightly from the year-ago period."  A 24.2% GROSS MARGIN!!!  That's 250% higher than evil Exxon-Mobil!!!!!!!  Break up HP.  Windfall printer taxes!!!  Cease off shore toner drilling!!!  Look for Mit)henomics, the movie, coming soon to a theater near the gentle surfer.

August 19, 2008    Chanting condoms

..."(AFP) A cell phone ringtone that chants "condom, condom!" has been launched in India to promote safe sex and tackle the growing HIV/AIDS epidemic.  The "condom a cappella" has been designed to break down Indians' reluctance to discuss condom use and to make wearing a condom more acceptable."  Suttle World sees a couple of problems here.  First, AFP, typically a reasonably reliable news wire, almost certainly misuses the term epidemic.  Its a subjective word defined as a number of cases at a rate that substantially exceeds what is "expected..."  2.5 million Indians are infected with HIV in a nation of 1.3 BILLION---hardly an epidemic by any "expectation."  Second, the new campaign may actually succeed.  Suttle World believes that if a chanting condom don't cause sexual dysfunction....Its the law of unintended consequences, but it works in the short run, and is an eventual boon to the boner pill purveyors. 

..."(AP) CHICAGO - When it comes to saving lives, God trumps doctors for many Americans. An eye-opening survey reveals widespread belief that divine intervention can revive dying patients. And, researchers said, doctors "need to be prepared to deal with families who are waiting for a miracle." More than half of randomly surveyed adults — 57 percent — said God's intervention could save a family member even if physicians declared treatment would be futile..."  Count Suttle World among the majority who believes that God could.  The only problem is that God doesn't.  When all of Grandpa's monitors begin beeping, and the lines are all flat, its a message from God:  "pray for the mortuary's phone number."

...Now Chelsea is going to speak at the Democratic Convention???  Suttle World is increasingly of the opinion that the party is simply too stupid to take full advantage of the target rich environment in which they find themselves in this election cycle.  Various press reports have Benson announcing his VP choice sometime today or Wednesday.  Sources close to Suttle World indicate that Sox the cat remains on the short list.

...Football is quickly upon the American landscape, with many high schools already having returned to the grid iron over the past weekend.  Suttle World enjoys beating the Georgia folks about the head and shoulders as much as any gentle surfer, but must admit to some pity as the 2008 campaign begins.  Officially ranked #1 in the pre season AP poll, there's only one way for Georgia to go---south, and its assured given their schedule.  If it runs the table, Georgia is among the greatest college football teams in history.  If it raises the dead, Suttle World is among the front runners for the next Pope.

August 18, 2008    Rain and sundry other thrills

...A tropical storm in the Caribbean and its resultant rainfall on the North American continent is rarely news, but  those who have dwelled in drought like conditions the past several years are somewhat encouraged by the projected path of Fay.  The return voyage from the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite HQ confirmed that many continue to enjoy their mud front homes on now renamed Puddle Hartwell---the least low of north Georgia's man made lakes.  The north Georgia water basin would not appear to be in for a much needed dousing it so richly deserves, but any little bit helps, including others in Fay's rainy route.

..."(AP) SAN FRANCISCO - Online DVD rental leader Netflix, Inc. resumed normal shipments Friday after its distribution centers were crippled by three days of severe technical problems, a spokesman said.  The Los Gatos-based company also offered a 15 percent credit to customers whose discs were delayed by the outage.  The outage held up shipments for about a third of the company's 8.4 million subscribers, meaning the total value of the credits could run into the millions of dollars."  Suttle World speculates that the issue could have been resolved in less than a day if over half the nation were not standing in bread lines---enduring the most devastating economic depression in the history of capitalism.

..."(AP) GORI, Georgia - Russia said its troops began withdrawing from the conflict zone in Georgia on Monday, including the strategic central city of Gori, "according to the peace plan" that sought to end fighting has reignited Cold War tensions."  Folks in Georgia report they haven't seen anybody going anywhere.  Memo to Russia:  don't make Suttle World come over there!

...Props to the DeKalb Division regular season and playoff winning Yellow Jackets who are now 2008 Wiffle Atlanta Champions following a weekend win over the Fulton Division's expansion Wifflesaurus in an action packed five game series that went the distance.  Saturday marks the final gathering of this year's campaign, as the league quite rightly celebrates a season well played with the Rookie Game, Home Run Derby, and always compelling All Star Game.  Balloting is currently underway.  The action starts at 1:00 at Glenlake Park in Decatur.

August 17, 2008    Moke makes splash at Olympics

...Suttle World is of the mind that the particular display settings on the official PC of the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite HQ to be the issue.  Suttle World's home page simply can't look as bad as it would appear on this end---a sharp contrast to other viewings observed in different locales.  Still, this is a Microsoft application, and ever inept staff at work here as well...

...Props to Michael Phelps.  His future earnings potential has increased in a parabolic fashion over the past week.  Perhaps even more difficult than winning eight gold medals will be successfully managing the task of "what now?" that will be Phelps' job for the remainder of his natural life.  Before departing aquatics, now that the life guard has announced "everybody out of the pool," Suttle World believes it most worthy of mentioning what it believes to be a happening even more stunning than Phelps'.  The headline from the South African Times, "Slow Schoeman Faces Chop from Relay," is simply unfair!  Cuzin Moke has more than enough on his plate.  Throw in gaining South African citizenship and then making the swim team in such a short period of time is a story in and of itself.

...To paraphrase the legendary Warner Wolf:  if the gentle surfer bet that the Wiffle Atlanta website would be updated to reflect the first day of play in the 2008 Wiffle Atlanta World Series, you lose!  Either the Yellow Jackets or Wifflesauras has or will prevail as this year's champion.  Suttle World suspects it was an early deadline for the Sunday edition as the reason scores were not published in this morning's Hendersonville Times-News.

..."(AP) COLUMBIA --- A South Carolina senator said saggy pants are a setback to the civil rights movement and should be banned.   Sen. Robert Ford said he will propose a law banning the style, taking statewide an effort by some Charleston City Council members to outlaw it locally."  Memo to Sen. Ford:  Suttle World appreciates your incredible frustration and anger about as well as its lily white ass will allow.  That being said, Suttle World does not believe that enhancing civil rights is achieved by restricting what and how folks wear clothes.

August 16, 2008

...Yes, a brief update this cool, overcast morning from 2300 feet above sea level (that's as of last night. Of course sea levels have probably risen a couple hundred feet in the interim) at the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite HQ.  First, is a techno experiment to achieve more expedited remote publication that has proved most time consuming in the past.  Second, there's the typical Suttle World sage insight upon which the gentle surfer has become so reliant.

...Shout out to cuzin Robbie in the land of cheese for his bladder busting tome of disgust regarding rather sensitive subject matter.  As to whether or not to extend props to cuzin Sal of Bean Town for bringing the not so delicate issue to the attention of several remains a work in progress.  Cryptic?  To those who believe, no explanation is necessary.  For those who don't, no explanation will suffice.  The game continues:  the first one to find the fudge wins the Holy War.

...Thirty one years ago
    On a hot Memphis day
    The king sat on the throne
    And quickly passed away       Elvis would have been 71.

...Michael Phelps taking his eighth gold medal in the 100 meter butterfly last night was about as good as swimming race gets---a dubious distinction, but one does the best with what one has.  Memo to Serbian swimmer dude:  touch the wall, Mit)h!

...BIGFOOT..."(AP)  PALO ALTO, Calif. - Bigfoot or big fat lie? Whenever someone reports sighting the hairy beast of yore (details always fuzzy) or capturing the hirsute humanoid on film (images always grainy), it scares up a dubious debate of international proportions. Friday was just the latest episode in the Sasquatch show, as unreal as it may be.  "Everyone who has talked down to us is going to eat their words," predicted Matt Whitton, an officer on medical leave from the Clayton County Police Department."  That's right, an honest to God certified peace officer is among those who claim to have found the creature.  Yes, Suttle World is skeptical.  While Suttle World understands that the airlines are really beefing up surcharges for extra luggage, it would seem to have been prudent to buy the beefy cryo-corpse a coach seat, and shlep it along to Palo Alto---beats a grainy photo of the Phoenix Suns mascot crammed into a Fridgedaire.

August 15, 2008  Russia feels exposed to western nuke threat, good

..."(AP) MOSCOW - A top Russian general said Friday that Poland's agreement to accept a U.S. missile defense battery exposes ex-communist nation to attack, possibly by nuclear weapons, the Interfax news agency reported."  The statement by Gen. Anatoly Nogovitsyn is the strongest threat that Russia has issued against the plans to put missile defense elements in former Soviet satellite nations."  Suttle World salutes the keenly astute General Nogovitsyn, and congratulates him on being the winner of this week's Suttle World No Feces, Sherlock Award.  You are quite correct that Russia is exposed to a nuclear attack directly upon the genitals of both yourself and every other high ranking Russian military and governmental official, with 7,500 left over to create general mayhem.  Please be governed accordingly.

...Suttle World is increasingly fascinated by the potential of almost fully realizing its dreams of Korean parliamentary fist fights breaking out on the floor of the upcoming Democratic convention in Denver.  Satan's gonna speak before a roll call into which her name will be placed for nomination---no acclamation for Benson.  Suttle World doesn't believe it a stretch to foresee the bitter, pursed lipped, Satan gang/soccer moms +8 years staging an extraordinary demonstration; and there's still the real possibility of the VP scenario Suttle World has already addressed, with Benson cross-town at Mile High.  It could still get good.

..."(AP) CHICAGO - National Guard and Reserve combat troops in Iraq and Afghanistan are more likely to develop drinking problems than active-duty soldiers, a new military study suggests. The authors speculate that inadequate preparation for the stress of combat and reduced access to support services at home may be to blame.  The study, appearing in Wednesday's Journal of the American Medical Association, is the first to compare Iraq and Afghanistan veterans' alcohol problems before and after deployment."  Suttle World is dumbfounded by the underlying premise of the previous lead/story---that alcohol and other drug abuse can be attributed to a psychological issue up to and including severe disorders.  Doesn't everyone know that "alcoholism" is a disease in and of itself, where the only hope of regaining any semblance of a semi-functional life is cessation and a subsequent obsession with cessation---always being just a frog hair's away from the next drink?  Suttle World is appalled that such unorthodoxy be allowed to see the light of day, and apologizes to exposing the squeamish gentle surfer to same.

...Props to the great American rock n' roll guitarist, Ross the Boss, who along with band mates, is expected to be on hand tonight for a listening party for "New Metal Leader", Ross' new album at The Ace of Clubs in New York City.  The lp will be available at an re or etailer near the gentle surfer as of the release date:  next Friday, August 22. 

...Its a getaway day for Suttle World as it relocates to the western North Carolina satellite HQ for a well deserved, long weekend.  Suttle World may or may not continue remote publication in the interim depending solely on its whim.  Should updates discontinue, Suttle World will be back at the helm Monday morning at the latest.  Courage.

...Finally, in the event there is no publication over the weekend, let it be known that the 2008 Wiffle Atlanta World Series will be played out this coming Saturday and Sunday (if necessary) as the Dekalb Division Champion Yellow Jackets take on the Fulton Division pennant winning Wifflesaurus.  Both teams won their respective regular season titles as well.  Tickets are still available (in five game blocks only!) at the box office.  Its a best of five game contest---as to whether 2 or 3 games are to be played Saturday is TBD as of this writing.

August 14, 2008  Bigfoot found!  Searchers continue tracking Big Mit)h

..."(AJC) The search for Bigfoot, the mythical half-man/half-gorilla beast also known as Sasquatch, may have ended in Georgia.  According to a press release issued by "Searching For Bigfoot," a California-based Web site, two men have not only found the corpse of a 7-foot-7, 500-plus pound man-monkey, but they've also found a tribe of his brethren living at an undisclosed location in the North Georgia mountains.  The men are to appear at a press conference in California with "DNA evidence and photo evidence" on Friday."  Suttle World will refrain from shooting fish in a barrel---at least until after tomorrow's press conference.

...The Rev. Jesse Jackson has spoken at every Democratic convention since 1984, but that streak may come to an end this year, according to sources inside the DNC.  The source also speculated that neither Suttle World nor Barry Goldwater would be speaking when Democrats assemble in Denver later this month.

...Whatever happened to Ish Kabibble?  Benson and Uncle Ernie have yet to pick running mates...  

..."(AP) WASHINGTON - The United States challenged Russia to keep its word to end a crushing invasion of U.S.-backed Georgia, siding decisively with the former Soviet republic and rejecting Russian justifications."  Weenie diplomacy that Suttle World is more than happy to "punch up."  Memo to Vlad:  you're now suspended indefinitely from the G8, and face expulsion in the absence of a full and complete withdrawal.  Trade while you can, because Russia is about to become economically isolated from the rest of the world.  Finally, please be advised that Lenin, Stalin, Brezhnev, Khrushchev, et al are dead.  Feel free to follow in their footsteps.

...What do the current equity markets and the lottery's daily number have in common?  Everything.  "(AP) NEW YORK - Wal-Mart Stores Inc. said Thursday second-quarter profit rose 17 percent and raised its full-year forecast as the world's largest retailer benefits from low prices that are attracting financially squeezed shoppers in a challenging economy and its campaign to cut costs."  Perhaps it was a different Wal-Mart about whom rumors regarding slightly lower than expected sales figures for the second quarter that pushed the DOW down over 200 points one day last week.  Russia and Georgia go to war in and around a major pipeline, and the price of oil continues to fall.  This is not a "stock pickers" market, its a blindfolded dart throwers market.

August 13, 2008 Bruner update

...The good news is that stately Roberts/Suttle Manor has received American Health Association certification as a field hospital.  The bad news is that neither of the denizens can fully appreciate the distinction due to their respective infirmities.  Suttle World suspects that it has had another gastric gasket failure, but awaits an analysis of its precious bodily fluids for confirmation.  Meanwhile, in the north ward, the Lady of the Manor, now armed with industrial strength oral antibiotics, continues to battle acute bronchitis.  More scintillating details as they unfold.  In the interim, the remainder of the universe will have to press forward without commentary.

...But all is not lost for the gentle surfer, and some may find their surfing experience to be that much more pleasant with less Suttle World, and more tales from cuzin Matt who checks in with yet another stellar installment of Bruner's Texas Takes >>>>>

August 11, 2008  Caray Memorial Service Today at 4:00

...A memorial service for legendary Braves announcer Skip Caray, who died Aug. 3, will be begin today at 4:00 at Christ the King Cathedral on the corner of Peachtreee Road and Peachtree Way.  A public gathering outside Turner Field will be held Tuesday morning at 10:00.

...Props to Padraig Harrington, the only active professional player in the world who can sink a putt outside six feet, who captured his second consecutive major by taking the PGA Championship yesterday at Oakland Hills outside Detroit.  The two time defending Open champion added the PGA title to his resume by finishing 72 brutal holes at three under par (277).  Harrington is the first "European" win the PGA Championship since Tommy Armour of Scotland in 1930.  Chokio Garcia and Ben Curtis finished two strokes back.

..."TBILISI, Georgia (AP) - Russia and Georgia clashed on land and at sea Sunday despite a Georgian cease-fire offer and claim of withdrawal from the separatist province of South Ossetia, officials from both countries said."  Meanwhile, market futures are up slightly in anticipation of another trading week, and Suttle World is very confused.

..."(Financial Times) Japanese officials have warned that the economy is heading for recession, while UK data continue to deteriorate and the Reserve Bank of Australia has said it is set to cut interest rates.  Ulrich Leuchtmann at Commerzbank said in a note he expected the dollar to rise “like a phoenix”. He said low US interest rates were not a burden on the dollar but an attraction, proof that the Federal Reserve was able to react quicker to turmoil than other central banks."  Say it aint so!  The US public hasn't even gotten started good in its whine and moan shtick with refined petroleum products now equaling the cost of generic bottled water.  This is no time for growth.  A little respect here.  Allow the mourners to properly grieve the recession that never was before the economy begins greater acceleration.

...That's enough.  Suttle world has seen the US v. China basketball game, some water polo and badminton.  Time for the closing ceremonies.  

...A sad AMF this morning to Isaac Hayes.  Best known for the 1971 hit "Shaft," Hayes began his career writing songs, establishing a partnership with David Porter for the famous Stax label.  In the 1960s they wrote classic hits for Sam and Dave such as "Hold On, I'm Coming," "Soul Man," and "When Something is Wrong With My Baby." They also wrote for other Stax artists including Carla Thomas.  He was 65.

August 10, 2008  Not funny Vlad

..."TBILISI, (Reuters) - Russian fighter jets targeted the the major Baku-Tbilisi-Ceyhan (BTC) oil pipeline which carries oil to the West from Asia but missed, Georgia's Economic Development Minister Ekaterina Sharashidze said on Saturday. "This clearly shows that Russia has not just targeted Georgian economic outlets but international economic outlets in Georgia," she said at a news briefing."  Memo to Vlad:  your self aggrandizing  shtick over the past decade or so has been mildly amusing in your feeble efforts to govern a nation that history shows to be ungovernable excepting under a totalitarian regime.  Suttle World strongly suggests that it is in your own personal best interests, as well as that of the Russian citizenry, if you would limit your activities to that of Richard Daley as opposed to Steve and Idi Amin.

...The death of comic Bernie Mac at the age of 50 is sad new indeed, as is the case for most anyone who leaves this mortal coil at such a tender age, and at the top of their game.  Suttle World can only hope that Bernie got situated in the great beyond soon enough to catch Fox News coverage of his passing. If so, both he and Suttle World enjoyed one hell of a laugh.  ABC broke the story 15 minutes before Suttle World, with great reluctance, tossed the TV over to Fox while performing domestic duties around 9:45.  This meant enduring the last few minutes of the Saturday edition of Fox & Friends---the most insipid happy talk/"news" program in the history of the medium.  "This just coming in...evidently comedian Bernie Mac has died at a hospital in Los Angeles," announced the weekend bimbo of the ménage a garbage, who with laptop at the ready, stated she was trying to get more information.  Suttle World believes this to be the time that the dim bulb alit over the ditz's  head.  "Gee, I work for a TV news network.  Maybe I shouldn't be surfing the competition's sites for info..."  A brief Ralph Kramden stammer was followed by some disjointed explanation of how "their" news department kept urgent updates in a "special place," and that she would begin looking there.  The next tidbit was that Mac had died from pneumonia.  Then she learns from a wire report that Mac suffered from sarcoidosis, and read a three word definition.  This leads to the declaration that Mac's sarcoidosis had caused the pneumonia that resulted in his death.  Fox MENSA chick had performed a complete autopsy in 15 seconds without a body or gear.  Amazing!  Amazing that is until a few minutes later when they got a real MD on the phone who explained that sarcoidosis was often found in the lungs, but was not associated with pneumonia.  Res Mit)h loquitor.  Another incident where killing the messenger would work just fine, thank you.

...The final round of the 2008 PGA Championship begins today after finishing the third round this morning that was so rudely interrupted by severe weather in the Detroit area Saturday afternoon.  The final four pairings never got started.  The forecast for this afternoon looks very similar, so two of the year's last three majors may well be decided on a Monday.  At this point the leader is....nobody cares who the leader is since the last four groups never teed off for the third round.

...A quiet, lazy Saturday night at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor, so what's a distinguished couple to do?  If the gentle surfer answered:  dig into the Suttle World film vault for the oh so appropriate Charlie Chan at the Olympics, congratulations, another 50 bonus points is headed your direction (to be used in any manner the gentle surfer sees fit).  Yes, the 1937 classic was dusted off for viewing---culled from among the 36 Charlie Chan flicks housed at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor (including the rare Charlie Chan Takes a Nap and Charlie Chan at the Barber).  There was some discussion before the viewing as to whether the flick would fall into one of the many Chan films, and other of a somewhat later vintage, that served as propaganda films.  Quite to the contrary.  Warner Oland/Charlie Chan shows up in Berlin for the 1936 games to solve the mystery at hand.  Here, the Germans are accommodating and assist Detective Chan in finding "the killer we despise."  No Nazis, no Hitler, just a short piece of actual newsreel footage of Jesse Owens in the 400 meter relay.  Some research this morning, indicates the film was "pulled" shortly after its release---deemed a bit too friendly to the Third Reich.

...The Yellow Jackets are winners of the DeKalb Division Championship, and will advance to next weekend's 2008 Wiffle Atlanta World Series by virtue of a two game sweep over the upstart Swamp Donkeys.  Their opponent will be determined this afternoon as the expansion Wifflesaurus meet Home Run Army in a best of three game series.

August 9, 2008  Olympic opening envy of Andy Hardy

...Suttle World tosses in its polite "golf clap" to the pile of accolades heaped upon China yesterday for putting on an opening ceremonies that were splendid for those under the influence of a hallucinogen.  For the gentle surfer that watched in an unaltered state, it was a pretty good show as such half time presentations of steroids (so to speak) go.  All this despite awful production from NBC---way too much chit chat from dude with Costas in the booth, and spastic direction that failed to allow for the ceremonies to be seen as a whole.  And so begins 10 hours of compelling sport crammed into a three week commercial.  Fortunately August offers alternatives...

...Moving day has arrived at the 2008 PGA Championship at Oakland Hills---a track that has proved brutal, allowing only the leader, and great grand nephew of the famous detective Sherlock, J. B. Holmes, to post a red number at -1 after 36 holes.  Behind Holmes, are 20 others within 5 strokes of the lead---a somewhat dubious leaderboard that is not at all uncommon at this stage of the last major.  TNT begins coverage at 11:00 (EDT) this morning, with the baton passed to CBS at 2:00.  Just for giggles, Suttle World likes the Wi dude---only a couple top ten finishes this year, but nearly a million in the bank.  With a name like Charlie Wi...  Before leaving the links, Suttle World extends a hearty AMF to Orville Moody---winner of the '69 US Open, his only "tour" win.  A 14 year army vet, Moody won the Open through local and sectional qualifying.  He was 74.

...Its Divisional Championship weekend for Wiffle Atlanta.  Today the DeKalb Division will begat an entrant into the 2008 Wiffle Atlanta World Series as the regular season winning Yellow Jackets face off against the third seeded Swamp Donkeys in a best of three game series.  Sunday will decide the Fulton Division with the expansion regular season champs, Wifflesaurus taking on the #2 seed Home Run Army.  Both series will be played out at the usual venue---Glenlake Park in Decatur,  with game times set for 1:00.

...To ease the mind of the concerned gentle surfer, stately Roberts/Suttle Manor and its Georgian surrounds have yet to be threatened by Russian military aggression, and for that Suttle World is thankful.  Suttle World is also, once again, easily confused.  Russia and Georgia begin a real shootout, and the market is up over 300 points!?????  "It was already priced into the market," say the business pundits.  Huh?  Suttle World finds the logical extension to that "reasoning" to mean the DOW would have been up over 500 points if the hostilities hadn't broken out.

August 8, 2008 08-08-08

...08-08-08 = BFD.  The Olympic games open in Beijing---an event with all the excitement and pageantry of the Golden Globe Awards start, ironically enough at 8:08.  Suttle World is often easily confused, and this is no exception.  For the record stately Roberts/Suttle Manor rests in Eastern Time, and Beijing is exactly 12 hours "ahead" of EDT.  Suttle World knows not if the 16 hour parade will be televised live this morning, or if NBC will make those in the US wait until this evening for what amounts to "elevator television."  Suttle World is also unaware if it has been banned by the oppressive, murderous and malodorous RED Chinese government, but obviously its still desperately trying to obtain the distinction.  Taiwan forever!  Free Tibet! Buy one, get on free!  Attica! 

...Sometimes the old school method of wearing out some shoe leather and pressing the flesh is what's required in the sales business.  Take Speaker Nancy Pelosi, please.  Currently on a five week vacation from Congressional action on energy policy and the like, Pelosi has put her full efforts into touring the country and pimping her recently released tome Know Your Power.  Its paid off.  According to Nielsen Bookscan, 2,737copies of the book flew off the shelves during its first week, rivaling the demand for the print copy of cuzin Matt's Bruner's Texas Takes.  

...The weekend TV sports schedule will be tricky, so a complete rundown (excluding specific Olympic coverage---a Rubik's cube the gentle surfer will have to solve for itself) is here for the clicking.

...Suttle World extends its apologies to the gentle surfer for the more awkward than usual appearance of the Suttle World home page.  The wx.com folks ceased supporting the two weather "magnets" that have been a fixture, and suitable replacements have yet to be put in place.  Expect improvements soon.

August 7, 2008 Favre a Jet; PGA Underway

...Sports Thursday...The story broke overnight:  Brett Favre is a New York Jet.  Memo to Broadway Brett:  its a very long way from Lambeau to the oh so romantic swamps of northern Jersey (just ask that Bruce guy) upon which the Meadowlands sports complex and Jimmy Hoffa have been firmly affixed.  Word on the street is that the home crowds are a bit different at Jets games compared to those in Green Bay.  Suttle World also understands New York to have a few more media folk working than the crew that regularly covers the Packers.  Again, as to where Favre (a guy who hasn't missed a game in 16 years) goes in any fantasy draft will be the most intriguing pick, aside from #s 1-3.

...The red headed step child of the majors, the PGA Championship, gets underway this morning at Oakland Hills.  Remove Tiger from the field, and make the tournament compete with the opening of the Olympics, and even Suttle World has trouble mustering much excitement over the last big event of the 2008 tour.  Phil, who's only had one top 15 finish in majors since his idiotic meltdown drive on 18 to give away the 2006 US Open at Winged Foot, is an astonishing 7:1 favorite in the field of 155.  OK, so there's no great anticipation, accompanied by the sinking feeling that golf will refuse to shut it down after this weekend as should be the case.  Still, Suttle World points out what is often lost in the annual August event---its far and away the toughest major in any given year because its the strongest field of any major in any given year.  Watch and enjoy---its the best thing going this weekend (Thu & Fri 1:00 TNT).

...Fortunate for those teeing it up today in Michigan that Allan Saylor isn't in the field.  "(AP) BISMARCK, N.D. - Golfing for just the third time, 11-year-old Allan Saylor was whacking the ball around with a friend, not even keeping score. A hole-in-one? No big deal. The sixth-grader fired the ace Wednesday on the 150-yard, par-3 sixth hole at the neighboring Mandan Municipal Golf Course, using a driver borrowed from his buddy."

...The pic to the right is Georgia legend Vince Dooley.  A feature piece "At Home with the Dooleys" accompanies the AJC story that is published in this morning's edition.  The caption for the pic notes that Vince is shown admiring his hydrangeas.  Suttle World sets the over/under at 8 on the number of vowels Vince uses in pronouncing the plant's name.  If they're "Bah-brahhhh's" hydrangeas, it could make for a very long sentence indeed.

..."(ABC News) Sen. Hillary Clinton told a gathering of supporters last week that she's looking for a "strategy" for her delegates to have their voices heard and "respected" at the Democratic National Convention -- and did not rule out the possibility of having her name placed into nomination at the convention alongside Sen. Barack Obama's."  Its a start, but Suttle World has a much better scenario to achieve the Korean parliament fist fights so longed for on the Democratic convention floor.  Forget about the first roll call, and imagine the following:  Benson picks his boring white guy as a running mate; Satan backers see their last chance to throw a tantrum for not having their birth right of Satan's nomination thwarted by placing her name into nomination for the VP slot.  They don't have the votes, but could make it close and ugly.  Meanwhile, nominee Benson is 5 miles across town at Mile High with throngs watching the floor fight on the Jumbotron.  Suttle World does not see such a situation creating a great deal of party unity.  Dare to dream the big dream.

..."CARACAS, Venezuela (AP) - Riot police used tear gas Wednesday to block hundreds of Venezuelans protesting the latest moves by President Hugo Chavez to concentrate his power. The demonstrators said a blacklist of opposition candidates and a series of socialist decrees are destroying what's left of their democracy."  Suttle World is shocked, shocked!  How could such things happen in a worker's paradise?

August 6, 2008 Caray Memorial Service Announced

...The family of the late Braves announcer Skip Caray has announced plans for an public memorial service for Caray on Aug. 11 at Christ the King Cathedral.  The cathedral is located at the corner of Peachtree Street and Peachtree Avenue, just north of West Wesley Road. The service is scheduled to begin at 4 p.m.  In lieu of flowers, the Caray family asks that donations be made to any of the following: Camp Twin Lakes, Winship Cancer Institute at Emory University, and the Friends House.

...I beg your indulgence this morning.  This is a poor effort, but I felt as though I needed to say it, and its my damn web site...