©Mitch Industries, 2003

 

Mission Statement
Twain wrote: "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug."  With that in mind please allow me to show you the neat little periodically illuminated jar with holes punched in the lid for air that is Suttle World.

  every day is Saturday, February 04, 2012
           Mr. Eraser just keeps coming up with good ideas.  As  opposed to deleting these sage rants, why not archive them for  generations to come?
  Suttle Security Council Daily Briefing Archives          

..."WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Barack Obama on Saturday pressed lawmakers to pass his proposal to provide up to $10 billion in aid to struggling homeowners, saying a failure to address the housing crisis would put the rest of the economy at risk.  Obama this week unveiled the details of a $5 billion to $10 billion program that would help homeowners take advantage of record low interest rates to refinance their mortgages. The assistance would be funded by a tax on large U.S. banks."  No, this won't work, just like the previous 6-8 mortgage bailout plans have failed.  Suttle World has waited patiently over the past several years for the market to get the economy moving in the right direction, but due to government intrusion and sheer ineptitude, the downturn continues, and leaves Suttle World with no choice but to step in and remedy the situation.  The gentle surfer that takes maintenance medications is cautioned to consider consuming same before continuing to behold this astonishingly brilliant Suttle World take---remember, safety first.  Here's the deal:  the housing bubble was the base cause of the Great Depression 2.0, and the still slumping housing market continues to be the biggest drag on the economy.  Refinancing doesn't fix the problem, because the problem is an estimated 8-10 million empty housing units across the fruited plane.  In order for the housing market to recover, and the resultant impact on the rest of the economy to be realized, this excess inventory has to be addressed.  The Suttle World solution:  if Herman Cain got a lot of mileage out of his "9-9-9" proposal, Suttle World's 1-33-33-33 arson for hire plan will truly wow the masses.  Basically, the idea is to burn all the extra inventory to the ground, and share the misery.  First, arsonists would set empty housing stock afire.  Now, not every swinging Richard with a Mason jar of gasoline and book of matches will be able to perform this work.   Professional arsonists will be required.  In an of itself, this will create jobs as arson schools and "Do-It Yourself Arson" stores will pop up around the country.  The gentle surfer is also reminded that these empty units are, for the most part, worthless, but ultimately belong to some lender.  To ease the loss, after each successful burning, the arsonist is paid 1% of the home's value, while the lender, property insurer/underwriter and feds/taxpayers eat the remaining chunk of 33% each.  Excess housing inventory is, thus, eliminated, and boom times are just around the corner.  The gentle surfer is more than welcome.

..."(Reuters) - Inmates working at a Vermont correctional unit's print shop managed to sneak a prank image of a pig into a state police crest that is emblazoned on police cars, and 30 cruisers sported the design for the last year, officials said on Thursday."  Memo to Green Mountain State law enforcement:  Jimmy the squid may be the best damn tattoo artist in the history of the Vermont Department of Corrections, but, as you have learned, having him craft your new logo is probably not a good idea.  In an effort to head off any further faux pas, Suttle World would respectively suggest that you re-think your current inmate locksmith shop, firearm manufacturing and iron bar fabrication units.

..."LAS VEGAS (AP) — Mitt Romney expects Nevada's caucuses to kick off a month of primary and caucus contests to keep momentum on his side in the race for the GOP presidential nomination."  Suttle Word declares that this is why God invented the freedom of press clause in the Constitution.  Prior to reading the insightful lead above, Suttle World thought Romney would end his presidential campaign after next week's Nevada caucus, and go home.

..."KANSAS CITY, Kan. (AP) — Lesa France Kennedy strode through the Art Deco-inspired lobby, past rows of blinking slots machines and spinning roulette wheels, her eyes trying to take in the homage to old Hollywood.  The chief executive of International Speedway Corp., which owns and operates Kansas Speedway, could only marvel at the new casino overlooking Turn 2 of the race track — a $411 million facility that has created 1,000 new jobs and is expected to attract 4 million visitors annually."  Suttle World finds this compelling.  Not only do the four million drawn annually have the opportunity to enjoy gaming in a fine new casino, but also have the chance to decide if a giant motor speedway is more boring with or without cars making continual left hand turns on the track.

...On to a very different, and much more entertaining, track in the form of the Every Day Is Saturday Suttle World Race of the Day.  Today's offering is the featured 9th race at Aqueduct in the form of the Grade III Withers Stakes for three year olds that will cover a mile and a sixteenth on the dirt (inner track).  The gentle surfer should consider this a prep race for the Triple Crown prep races.  A field of seven is entered for the scheduled for 4:05 (EST) post time.  The #7 horse, Alpha, is deservedly the morning line favorite, but no favorite has ever won the Every Day Is Saturday Suttle World Race of the Day.  As always, Suttle World looks for value on the tote board, and won't find any if Alpha goes off anywhere near his current even money listing.  Instead, Suttle World is intrigued by seasoned trainer Richard Rutrow's entry of #3 Swag Daddy.  Sure, the animal is making a big step up in class, but so is every other horse.  Exotic wagers will have to wait until near post time to determine.  As always, the Daily Racing Form provides past performance charts and graphs gratis to the gentle surfer for the Every Day Is Saturday Suttle World Race of the Day (click here).

February 3, 2012

...As the gentle surfer has no doubt discovered, mid-week updates, aside from SOTD, are few and far between.  This is not to say that a quick check of the Suttle Security Council Daily Briefing should not be performed on a daily basis, but...  A rather belated, and rare take on SOTD from this previous Monday, January 30.  Although the ever inept Suttle World staff has failed to keep and maintain the appropriate record/archive, it is believed that Arthur Collin's recording of "Hello! Ma Baby!" to be the first nineteenth century (1899 release) tune posted over the past 6-7 years.

..."(LiveScience.com) - A spoonful of sugar might make the medicine go down. But it also makes blood pressure and cholesterol go up, along with your risk for liver failure, obesity, heart disease and diabetes.  Sugar and other sweeteners are, in fact, so toxic to the human body that they should be regulated as strictly as alcohol by governments worldwide, according to a commentary in the current issue of the journal Nature by researchers at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF).  The researchers propose regulations such as taxing all foods and drinks that include added sugar, banning sales in or near schools and placing age limits on purchases."  Of course such proclamations are ridiculous, and don't even mention the true evil of sugar, despite there being merit in the notion of putting soda machines at least a half mile walk from where kids live or gather to compel the tikes move their burgeoning butts.  The real evil of sugar, inquires the gentle surfer?  Its not the carbs.  Its the feds that props up the domestic sugar industry with subsidy and protectionism.  This long standing state of affairs has continued to hold back third world nations that could find a lucrative export in the sweet stuff, and, perhaps, jump start their Flintstone like economies.  Is the topic worthy of this length of discussion?  Probably not.  Call it a Suttle World pet peeve.

..."(Good Morning America) - A wealthy Florida polo club founder has adopted his longtime adult girlfriend in what attorneys believe may be a legal maneuver to protect his financial assets as he faces a trial for a drunk driving incident that killed a 23-year-old.  John Goodman, 48, formally adopted Heather Laruso Hutchins, 42, in October 2011. The couple started dating in 2009. Goodman is the founder of the International Polo Club Palm Beach in Wellington, Fla..."The Defendant has effectively diverted a significant portion of the assets of the children's trust to a person with whom he is intimately involved at a time when his personal assets are largely at risk in this case," the judge wrote."  Suttle World has no idea as to whether or not it will hold up, but must confess that its one damn clever legal maneuver. 

...Yesterday morning, President Obama, along with most members of the executive branch, walked out of the White House (and EOB), were frightened by the sight of their own shadows, and quickly retired back inside.  Suttle World can only hope the tradition holds true, and that there will be only six more months of this administration (until election day/official lame duck status).  Alas, Suttle World is moving closer (kicking and screaming) to the notion that this is the president's election to lose.

January 30, 2012

..."(Henderson Times-News) FLAT ROCK — You're a first responder, and you're not sure how to safely approach the hybrid vehicle at your wreck scene to rescue the driver who is trapped inside.  Now there's an app for that.  The National Alternative Fuels Training Consortium Quick Reference Guide app is available to anyone with an iPhone or Android device. It was created by the 10-member consortium in partnership with West Virginia University.  Blue Ridge Community College is one of three colleges in North Carolina that comprise the consortium, said Chris English, lead automotive instructor at BRCC."  Suttle World is very pleased that the independently operating brilliant minds that brought forth the circumstance where a firefighter requires a smart phone and a computer network to pull someone from a car, didn't go into the businesses of bread, cheese, beer, the arts et al.

..."LOS ANGELES (AP) — When Facebook makes its long-expected debut as a public company this spring, the social-networking company will likely vault into the ranks of the largest public companies in the world, alongside McDonald's, Amazon.com and Bank of America.  The Wall Street Journal reported Friday that Facebook is preparing to file initial paperwork for an offering that could raise as much as $10 billion and value the company at $75 billion to $100 billion. The filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission could come as early as Wednesday, with an initial public offering of stock in three or four months."  First, a couple of caveats:  1)  its at least supposed to be a "free country;" and 2) anything, from a brick, to a chicken, to a share of stock is worth only what another will pay.  That said, Suttle World is bewildered as to why folks are lining up to give $10 billion to Facebook.  Sure, some extra cash could aid the already highly successful endeavor prosper that much more, but a couple billion would seem to be more than imaginable---at least in the short run.  Yes, Google has taken a recent beating, and remains up over 500% since its IPO over seven years ago.  Still, Suttle World has serious doubts about the long term stability of the 800 million user website, especially to the tune of $10 billion.

..."CAIRO (AP) — A professor from American University in Cairo says discovery of prostate cancer in a 2,200-year-old mummy indicates the disease was caused by genetics, not environment.  AUC professor Salima Ikram, a member of the team that studied the mummy in Portugal for two years, said Sunday the mummy was of a man who died in his forties."  If the mummy had only availed himself to regular digital exams and PSA screening, there might have been at chance. 

January 29, 2012

...Suttle World could report that three were killed when their vehicle collided with a light-rail commuter train near Sacramento yesterday for the purpose of adding that both of the train's passengers were unhurt, but that would be a rather tacky way to begin a Sunday update.

...Don't look now, but the #11 Murray State Racers of the Ohio Valley Conference continue their unbeaten campaign---pushing their record to 21-0 (9-0) with an easy win over Eastern Illinois yesterday.  Meanwhile, the mighty fighting Colonials of George Washington University 8-13 (3-4) lost their second contest of the week---falling to the always formidable Fordham Saturday.

...Five Every Day Is Saturday Suttle World Race of The Days in the books, and five favorites have fallen by the wayside.  Teddy's Promise finished out of the money in yesterday's Santa Monica Stakes from Santa Anita.  Home Sweet Aspen won the event, and paid her backers $13.60, 6.80 and 4.40.

..."ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) — A homeless man who was stuck in thick mud near the Rio Grande river in Albuquerque for three days was rescued Saturday after some high school students on a field trip heard him yelling for help, authorities said."  Suttle World declares that school is just more fun in the 21st century.  BITD, Suttle World and its kiddy colleagues would merely schlep to Fernbank.  Now, youngsters go on buried homeless excavations that sound a hell of a lot more exciting than the Cyclorama.

January 28, 2012

..."DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — A New York attorney's decision to withdraw his claim on a multimillion dollar Iowa Lottery prize doesn't put to rest officials' questions about how he obtained the ticket.  Crawford Shaw, of Bedford, N.Y., withdrew his claim Thursday on a multimillion dollar Iowa Lottery prize just as mysteriously as he has made it, saying through a Des Moines law firm that he couldn't satisfy lottery officials' request for basic information about how he obtained the winning ticket."  It is a bizarre story that the gentle surfer may wish to click though and examine further.  Iowa officials are expected to launch a criminal investigation.  More important to Suttle World is the follow up of when dude's law license gets yanked.  Suttle World has no issue with lawyers nor the legal profession per se, but Suttle World has a big problem with the Bar/lawyer's union being the "governing body" for all God's counselors---especially when, as often appears to be the case to Suttle World, it constantly fails to exercise due diligence in disciplining its own members.  Suttle World has always entertained the notion that, instead of the Bar, that the law, and justice itself, would be better served in overseen by something akin to an old skool baseball commissioner, and that Commissioner Gino, "big gavel," Suttle has a certain ring to it.

...To the degree that the flesh is willing, today is scheduled as an outdoor Every Day Is Saturday at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0, as another unseasonably pleasant climate will allow oversight of work in the estate's eastern 40.  To date, the "it hasn't been cold enough yet" excuse for not pruning (and resultant tidying) has provided good cover for old fashioned apathy.  Alas, the calendar now trumps excuses, and Suttle World envisions clippers, rakes wheelbarrows and an ever popular trip to the dump/Waste Transfer Station in its immediate future.  "These are the days of our lives."

...No reviews in yet for the Manitoba gig at The Bowery Electric Thursday night, but some more geographically immediate big music news now emanates from stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 this morning.  Suttle World and bride of Suttle World are proud to announce that they will be present next Thursday, Feb. 9th, when Wanda Jackson performs at the Orange Peel ("the" big act club in town) in nearby Asheville.  For the unfamiliar gentle surfer, the 74 year-old ragin' rockabilly raven remains very active, and finds herself in great demand both in the US and Europe.  Jackson's "comeback" career has been noted for her work with Jack White of White Stripes fame, including her most recent album that peeked at number 58 on US charts in 2011!  She charted 29 singles on Billboard's country charts, and five on the Top 100 between 1954 and 1973.    Suttle World sees this as a potential "all time" show.

...The Every Day Is Saturday Suttle World Race of the Day comes from lovely Santa Anita in the form of the Grade I Santa Monica Stakes, where a field of seven 4 year old and up fillies and mares will cover 7 furlongs on the dirt.  As always, the Daily Racing Form has been kind enough to offer free past performance charts and graphs for the Every Day Is Saturday Suttle World Race of the Day.  Suttle World is working off two straight winners, but doesn't see much wagering opportunity today.  Suttle World believes that the favorite has yet to win one these events in its short five week history, but cannot argue with today's morning line darling of #5 Teddy's Promise---listed at 8:5.  She easily won the Grade I Labrea by 2 and 1/2 lengths over the same distance at Santa Anita against several others in the field on New Year's Eve, and there's no reason this shouldn't be a repeat performance.  Ergo, Suttle World picks the winner, but strays from the window---at least at this writing.  Any exotics would depend on how the tote board is reading as the forecast 7:12 (EST) post time nears.

January 27, 2012

...The gentle surfer's wake up weather for stately Roberts/Suttle Manor and surrounds finds the estate's official thermometer reading 58º on this brutal late January morning.  Yep, its quiet out there, Slim.  Too quiet.  And Suttle World stipulates the climatological  karmic payback is hell, but what has been basically a January perma-thaw is forecast to continue with more above seasonable temps through the end of the month.  Strange days indeed, with no complaints from Suttle World---excepting to note that with the end of the world a mere 329 days hence, it would like to give the new snow thrower at least one lap around the drive prior to checking out.  Suttle World would hate to see the device simply waste away in its original packaging, what with so many starving children in Switzerland, and all who do without.

..."ROMULUS, Mich. (AP) — President Barack Obama has put colleges and universities on notice to control tuition costs or face losing federal dollars. Now, schools are waiting to hear how big a stick he plans to wield to enforce his message."  Suttle World could not agree more with the president.  Ever increasing government aid and loans (from both the feds and, typically, state lotteries) have created an artificial and outrageous tuition spiral over the past several decades (more aid means increased tuition; increased tuition demands more aid that further increases tuition...).  Now, if only the president saw the efficacy in treating markets, monetary and fiscal policy in a similar manner, the current economy would not be locked into mega suck mode.  The gentle surfer is urged to take some satisfaction in small silver linings---it may well be stuck with this clown for another four years (the end of the world in 329 days notwithstanding).  Finally, a quick check by the Suttle World staff, finds that Romulus, MI's "sister" city of Remus, MI is some 170 miles to its northwest.

...Its probably gone unmentioned because Suttle World, like many gentle surfers, is very conflicted/ambivalent about the recent death of Joe Paterno.  Enough said.

...AMF Hillary..."(Washington Post) - Like President Obama, Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton says she hasn’t been watching the Republican primary debates. But at least Clinton has an excuse for tuning out — she says she’s quitting government after the election no matter who wins."  Suttle World is stunned by the announcement that the gentle surfer may have already been aware (via rumor/innuendo) for some time.  Suttle World sends props to the Secretary for making no mention of wishing to "spend more time with her family," as a reason for stepping down come year's end (the end of the world in 329 days notwithstanding).

..."LOS ANGELES (AP)—Just 16 games into their new partnership, Blake Griffin and Chris Paul are already capable of grinding out victories for the Los Angeles Clippers on nights when nothing seems to work properly.  They are both certain the Clippers will find their flow pretty soon.  Griffin scored 20 points, Paul added 18 points and seven assists in his second game back from injury, and the first-place Clippers hung on in the fourth quarter for a 98-91 victory over the Memphis Grizzlies on Thursday night."  Typically, Suttle World would not lend comment to a late January NBA game, but found this particular matchup notable, as it may have been the biggest fashion faux pas in league history.  Yes, the package promoting short shorts of the 70's were disturbing, but these unis are ugly on a nauseating level (click pic to enlarge).

January 26, 2012

...A picture may well say a thousand words (click to enlarge), but Suttle World is not above redundancy when it gladly relates to the gentle surfer that tonight's Manitoba show at The Bowery Electric in NYC is sold out!  Reviews of the short set played by this incarnation of a 60% Dictators act at Jersey's Asbury Lanes (part of a benefit, and, yes it is a bowling alley that regularly hosts shows) were tremendous (Suttle World received a CD of the gig in the mail recently, and has yet to listen).  Unfortunately, Suttle World and bride of Suttle World will not be among tonight's attendees, but 1) eagerly await run downs from various member of The Dictators Underground who will be present; and 2) continue to clamor for future gigs that the denizens of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 may attend.

..."(The Sideshow) - Former President John Tyler, born 221 years ago, still has two living grandchildren. The one-term president isn't a well-known historical figure; he's probably best remembered for helping to push through the annexation of Texas in 1845, shortly before leaving office."  Suttle World finds the story to be quaint, but with a couple of flaws: first, nobody gives a damn about John Tyler, much less his grandchildren.  Second, Texas wasn't "annexed."  The Republic of Texas, a short lived independent nation state, entered/joined the United States via treaty---the only of the several states to have done so.

January 23, 2012

..."(AP) - It'll be Eli Manning leading the New York Giants to a Super Bowl rematch against the New England Patriots — and this time on older brother Peyton's home field."  Two great games, with a special Suttle World shout-out to the Giants who appeared to be fading in the fourth quarter of what was, defacto, their fifth straight playoff game. but held on long enough for an overtime win.  And now begins the Suttle World football blackout for the next fortnight leading up to the Super Bowl, Feb. 5th.

..."NEW YORK (AP) — Since its beginnings in the 1970s, rap music has transformed from an underground, street-based sound to a definitive part of pop culture, transcending race and becoming one of the strongest — and most prolific — voices of today's generation. But at the Grammy Awards, rap has had a long-lasting losing streak in the top categories."  While no great fan of the Grammy Awards, Suttle World speculates that the genre has been dissed because most of rap isn't music.  If the gentle surfer hears no singing or instruments being played, it probably isn't listening to music.  Art?, yes, but not music---the stuff dubiously recognized by the Grammys. 

January 22, 2012 - High Holy Day of Sport (I/V)

...Newt's 12 point win in South Carolina Saturday is nothing less than stunning.  The exit polling data is equally as impressive for the Gingrich camp, as the former speaker won all demographics from young, poor, atheistic women to wealthy, evangelical geezers.  Suttle World picked the winner, but had no expectation of this margin of victory, and is also clueless about where the race goes from here---aside from Florida being the next scheduled primary on Jan. 31.

...Speaking of picking winners, Suttle World records its second Every Day Is Saturday Race of the Day winner in a row.  Frumious captured the Palos Verdes Stakes at Santa Anita Saturday by nearly six lengths.  The six year old paid $14.60, $7.20 and $4.00 in a scorching time of 1:07.28 over six furlongs.

...And then there were none (undefeated).  Notre Dame knocks off unbeaten and #1 Syracuse on a typically great Every Day Is Saturday January afternoon of college hoops action.  Meanwhile, the mighty fighting Colonials of George Washington University 8-11 (3-2) end the week 2-0 with a win against UNC-Charlotte yesterday that was preceded by a mid-week victory over Richmond in Atlantic-10 play.

...It has arrived:  the first of 2012's five High Holy Days of Sport in the form of the the National Football League's Conference Championship Sunday.  Up first, Baltimore travels to face New England, with kickoff scheduled for 3:00 (EST).  Most eyes will be on wonder boy Tom Brady, but Suttle World contends that the key to the AFC title is held by the guy who puts his hands under the butt of the center on the other side, namely Joe Flacco.  If ole Joe puts up a career day, the Ravens are Super Bowl bound.  An average day at the office has the defensively impaired Patriots headed for the big game.  The NFC title match (6:30 EST) features the Giants and 49ers in San Francisco.  Conventional wisdom has New York as the hot ball club, and team to beat coming into this evening, despite being three point underdogs.  Suttle World would hasten to point out the the Niners are on something of a roll as well---having won 14 of 17 this season.  New England is a seven point favorite, and Gene, the Caucasian, will respectively decline from wandering to the wagering window today---ending the 2011-12 season, up $20.

..."LA PAZ, Bolivia (AP) — In just three years, Bolivia's state airline has pushed aside private carriers, bucking an international trend toward privatization while becoming the leader in domestic flights for a poor Andean country where flying remains a luxury."  Suttle World sees this as belonging in the tallest midget in the room aisle, and wonders how Air Bolivia screens goats for security prior to boarding.

..."MADRID (AP) — A flaming-horned bull trampled and fatally gored a man early Saturday during a festival in eastern Spain, an official said.  Large balls of flaming wax are traditionally affixed to the beasts' heads before they are let loose to rampage through squares and narrow streets in such festivals."  Suttle World is nostalgic about the good old days when a flaming-horned bull could be trusted.  Alas, those times have passed, and now the gentle surfer must be very suspect of any burning bovine it may encounter.

January 21, 2012

...Unseasonably warm temps and wet weather (sometimes stormy) face primary voters in the Palmetto State, as South Carolina hosts the nation's third GOP presidential selection contest today.  Suttle World has been with the oxymoronic "conventional wisdom" regarding the race to date, and, for the most part, the results have been according to Hoyle.  Should weather play a role, it will be as much of an advantage for the zealous Ron Paul camp as it will be hurtful to a much less enthusiastic group of Romney backers.  Newt is hotter than the NY Giants, and Suttle World expects that momentum to carry the Speaker to a narrow win today.  The race then becomes a two man affair, with Paul tagging along for giggles, and Rick Santorum suspending his campaign---traveling to Texas to borrow more sweater vests from Rick Perry.  Of course, the $64k question (a paltry $64k---quaint, no?) remains is Speaker Gingrich electable (no, not a real word, but in rational common usage)?  Suttle World also believes it fair (as the frequent gentle surfer is aware, Suttle World is nothing, if not fair) to then ask if Newt can govern?  Brilliant guy?, yes, but like the few others in his party with a higher than room temperature IQ, he's proven to be a much better campaigner and back bencher than leader.  A final note about Suttle World's buddy Dr. Paul.  Suttle World will refresh the record by stating it voted for ol' Ron as the Libertarian Party candidate for president in 1988.  Suttle World finds hope in the congressman having found such a wide swath of support.  Suttle World also is certain that Republicans will nominate Bella Abzug before they give the nod to Ron Paul, making his presence moot with regard to how the current game is playing out in the first half.

...AMF to Etta James who shuffled off this mortal coil in a Los Angeles hospital yesterday from complications of leukemia.  She was 73, and will be forever remembered for her cover of "At Last."  James had 10 top-ten singles on the Billboard R&B charts during a long and diverse career.

..."WASHINGTON (AP) — Caving to a massive campaign by Internet services and their millions of users, Congress indefinitely postponed legislation Friday to stop online piracy of movies and music costing U.S. companies billions of dollars every year. Critics said the bills would result in censorship and stifle Internet innovation."  Suttle World needs to study the charts and graphs on this one more thoroughly before forming a take.  The issue is vital (and involves much more than the indefensible act of movie piracy), must be resolved in some manner and the proposed legislation deserving of further research.

..."(Mashable-?) - You catch glimpses of sunny parks, busy street corners and various home dwellings as smiling faces step up to offer friendly hugs and a lullaby voice sings lightly. Sound nice? It is. And you might be surprised to learn that it exists, of all places, on the Internet."  Of course, Suttle World has investigated the thenicestplaceontheinter.net for the gentle surfer, and can report that while it may not actually be the nicest page on the internet, it is among the most creepy.

...On to the Every Day Is Saturday Suttle World Race of the Week.  Today's offering comes from famous Santa Anita Race Course, and the eighth offering on the card---the Grade II Palos Verdes Stakes that draws a field of eight four year-olds and up, sprinting six furlongs on the dirt.  Per usual:  The Daily Racing Form has been kind enough to furnish the gentle surfer with the necessary past performance/charts and graphs for race that has an expected post time of (4:07 PST).  Suttle World's cursory study of the PPs finds #5 on the value menu (OK, poor choice of a metaphor...) in Frumious---listed at 8:1 in the morning line in a field with some other really good older horses.  Suttle World would take Frumious across the board, and study further to find any exotics.

January 20, 2012

..."(WLOS - News 13) - Henderson County Deputies are investigating a shooting at a home on Mt. Olivet Road in Zirconia. They say a man called 911 around 3:17 this morning asking for help. He said his wife had shot him. Investigators are working to confirm who did the shooting."  Other media reports indicate that the condition of the unidentified victim is unknown following air-lift to Mission Hospital in Asheville.  Suttle World has become pleasantly accustomed to reports of a nearby shooting to be big news.

...And that's the way it is.  Friday, January 20th, 2012.  Truly not much material out there.  South Carolina can wait until tomorrow when the polls open, and the first of the five High Holy Days of Sport for 2012 remains two days hence.

January 19, 2012

..."WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The Obama administration on Wednesday rejected the Keystone crude oil pipeline project, a decision welcomed by environmental groups but blasted by the domestic energy industry."  Unseating even a vulnerable incumbent is a daunting task, but this decision accompanied by projected $4+/gallon gasoline this summer is just bad politics.  Should this administration continue to "trend" in this direction, it will do little to energize the left, while reinforcing the "one and done" attitude that the American electorate would seem to be increasingly embracing.

..."NEW YORK (AP) — A suspicious passenger of the four-legged variety led to the evacuation of a New York City subway car.  Startled riders aboard a Manhattan-bound train spotted an opossum curled up underneath a seat near the train's heating duct around 4:30 a.m. on Friday.  The New York Times reports the animal apparently boarded the train at Coney Island in Brooklyn, where the platform is above ground. The subway car was evacuated several stops later in Manhattan as officers wearing heavy gloves tried to remove it. When the marsupial bared its teeth at them, animal control experts were called in."  Suttle World is curious as to why "the wires" have deemed this story as news.  Suttle World has seen many more strange things in and on the NYC subway system than a possum.

...Would the gentle surfer like to see an NBA game?  Does the gentle surfer have $2.00 to spend?  If so, Stubhub.com is ready when the gentle surfer is.  At this writing, the ticket re-seller is currently offering ducats for the Charlotte Bobcats at the Washington Wizards game on Wednesday, January 25th from two bucks and up.  Some go for as much as $5, so order early so as to not get shut out.

January 16, 2012

...And then there were four.  Baltimore fails to cover, but advances over Houston to claim a spot in the AFC Championship game against New England in Foxboro, while the Giants shock the Packers in Green Bay, and will head west to face the 49ers in the NFC title game---both Sunday, the first of five Suttle World High Holy Days of Sport.  Each gentle surfer that had New York and San Francisco in the NFC championship back in September will now please stand up, so that the seated gentle surfer may clearly identify the less than honest gentle surfers in the room.

..."MOSCOW (Reuters) - Pieces of a failed Russian Mars probe plummeted into the Pacific Ocean far off the Chilean coast Sunday, Russian news agencies cited a military official as saying."  So, for the third weekend in recent memory, the forecast was "partly cloudy, with a 30% chance of light space debris."  The ingenious gentle surfer may wish to position itself long on hard hat makers.

..."NEW YORK (AP) — A Malaysian company's plan to build a $4 billion convention center and big-time casino on the outskirts of New York City could be the biggest shot fired yet in a tourism arms race that has seen a growing number of Eastern states embrace gambling as a way to lure visitors and drum up revenue.  New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo announced last week that he would work with the Genting Group, one of the world's largest and most successful gambling companies, to transform the storied, but sleepy, Aqueduct horse track into a megaplex that would eventually include the nation's largest convention center, 3,000 hotel rooms, and a major expansion of a casino that began operating at the site in October."  Works for Suttle World, and has the benefit of taking several years to build.  This will allow the New York betting public to be weaned down to only lighting trash cans afire (because of a perceived betting coup) in designated areas.

January 15, 2012

...It was truly a San Francisco treat as the Niners proved that they are for real by beating back the Saints in a thrilling 36-32 shootout at Candlestick yesterday.  Meanwhile, Foxboro, MA remains the NFL's January equivalent of a roach motel---teams check in, but they don't check out.  Denver's run is halted dead in its tracks by Brady and the Pats who handily defeated the Broncos in last night's playoff event.  Today, the two final entrants into next week's two conference championship games will be decided.  First, Houston is a 7.5 point underdog heading into Baltimore to play the Ravens at 1:00 (EST - CBS).  The nightcap (4:30 EST - Fox) features the Giants visiting the Packers, with Green Bay the 7.5 point favorite.  Gene, the Caucasian, has a casual interest in both favorites, but not enough to endanger its remaining $20 of precious winnings on the season.

...We have a winner---finally,  Although unpublished yesterday, Suttle World expressed a preference to cuzin Paul in email of the #10 horse in the Suttle World Every Day Is Saturday Race of the Day from Gulfstream Park.  Silver Medallion paid his backers $9.80, 4.80 and 3.00, while the 2:1 favorite was an also ran for the third consecutive week.

..."(ABC News) - In a sea of black and white penguins waddling on Antarctica's Aitcho Islands, National Geographic Explorers spotted an extremely rare, nearly all-white Chinstrap penguin this week."  Stop the music!  Suttle World must step in and rhetorically inquire as to whether nearly all-white Chinstrap penguins are truly "extremely rare," or are the sightings themselves highly unusual, given that picking out one of the suckers from a background of all-white frozen tundra that is Antarctica, might be a real challenge?  Once again, the sales department at the Suttle World Institute for Studying Really Stupid Stuff is on the case.  And, again:  "We bid cheap."

..."CHICAGO (Reuters) - PepsiCo Inc said company tests of its Tropicana orange juice showed low levels of a potentially dangerous fungicide, but levels were below federal safety concerns and did not pose a health risk."  Suttle World urges caution here, and suggests that Tropicana begin experimenting to achieve the highest possible levels, while remaining (somewhat) safe.  This way the gentle surfer could start its day with a glass of sunshine, and, soon thereafter, weed and feed the lawn by simply making its bladder gladder.  The neighbors notwithstanding, this delivery device has the potential to be the most popular man tool in the history of home and garden that is not motorized.  Everybody will want one.  Word on the street has Chaz Bono dropping some $40k for a prototype weed eater.  The gentle surfer may wish to consider getting in on the ground floor here.

...As promised, it is with a grimace that Suttle World advises the gentle surfer of the status of George Washington University basketball as collegiate intra-conference play is now well underway.  The Colonial's record of 6-11 (1-2) pretty much says it all, and includes a lovely seven game losing streak through December (1-9), and a 21 point drubbing by Harvard yesterday.  Its gonna take a long time to turn around this rusty stinkin' lug of an old tuna boat that is the GW program.

January 14, 2012

..."SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - California Governor Jerry Brown wants to move forward with building a statewide high-speed rail system seen costing nearly $100 billion, but lawmakers are nervous about approving bonds needed to lock in federal funds to get the project under way.  They are gagging at the rail system's projected cost, which towers above its previous estimate of $43 billion, and are anxious about the uncertain outlook for federal and private-sector dollars needed to lay hundreds of miles of train tracks between California's far-flung metropolitan areas."  Suttle World doesn't wish to cause further "gagging" by members of the California general assembly, but Suttle World would hasten to point out at least one more little problem.  Namely, it won't work/build it, and they won't come.  If there were demand in the Golden State for a really big spiffy passenger rail system, the private sector would build and operate same.  This is why United, Greyhound and Avis all do business in California, and, for the most part, do so without government subsidy while being tax collectors on a litany of government mandated taxes and fees.  Passenger rail simply will not pay for itself.  Suttle World encourages the gentle surfer to name a single North American exception outside the northeast corridor.  Macro-economics:  its not just for breakfast anymore.  A not so recent repeat of a Suttle World grunt seems appropriate while in the transportation aisle.  If Suttle World hears another complaint about shabby US air service from leisure travelers, it is going to take a hostage.  Suttle World stipulates that flying has become a less than fun experience, but the gentle surfer that demands to get from Atlanta to Chicago for $99 (plus the aforementioned taxes, fees, port charges, latex glove and lubrication recycling cost, etc...) is getting what it pays for, and asked to kindly sit down in its tiny little seat, and shut up!  The gentle surfer seeking an old skool/pre-deregulation nostalgia trip where each passenger is bottle fed champagne by a long legged stewardess on its lap can pony up the four or five times more for a ducat (in real dollars) than prevailing prices.

..."WASHINGTON (AP) — The more astronomers look for other worlds, the more they find that it is a crowded and crazy cosmos. They think planets easily outnumber stars in our galaxy and they are even finding them in the strangest of places."  Uhm...Suttle World readily admits that its not the greatest sampling in a population that is the universe, but knowing of its own solar system, Suttle World kinda figured there were more planets out there than stars without ever having raised an eye to the sky, nor ciphered any sort of equation.  Yes, the Suttle World Institute for Studying Really Stupid Stuff is on the case.  "Our bids are really cheap!"  

...An extension to yesterday's take regarding the GOP presidential nomination race:  the gentle surfer is encouraged to close its eyes ("upon further review," Suttle World sees the inherent flaw in the gentle surfer closing its eyes while reading the remainder of this take---work with me here!), and imagine that Romney wins handily in SC and FL to sew up the nomination.  He then picks Mark Rubio or Chris Christie as a running mate, and begins the campaign with a bang, right?  He'll have to pick someone like the aforementioned two or a Mike Huckabee, right?  Just like every gentle surfer knew that Spiro Agnew, Thomas Eagleton, Dan Quayle or Sarah Palin had to be the bottom half of their respective tickets, right?

...Off to the sports world...First, though a week belated and not unique, Suttle World, nonetheless, wants to be on the record as sending out a loud "Good, Mit)h" to Falcons head coach Mike, 4th and none, Smith.  Suttle World does not take for granted that having "big plays" in post-season games is a refreshing change of pace for the Atlanta franchise, but what in the hell were you thinking---last week or against New Orleans earlier in overtime!!!!?  Do we not learn from our poor decisions!?  Do we run the same failed play three freakin' straight times (including against the Saints)!?  "Slowly, I turned.  Step by step, inch by inch..."

...NFL Divisional Playoffs...First up (4:30 EST - Fox) the red hot Saints will be a 3.5 point favorite when they kickoff against the 49ers in San Francisco.  Suttle World sees a couple of pretty obvious unknowns in this contest that prevent it from forecasting an outcome.  First, how will the "up and coming team of the year," the Niners, fare in the glare of playoff pressure?  Second, will the New Orleans high powered offense be slowed/affected simply by the radical change in surfaces (relative to the Super Dome/turf) on which the game will be played?  Suttle World knows not, and will tune in with the hope of a compelling contest.  The nightcap rolls around shortly after 8:00 (EST - CBS) when the outrageously hyped Denver Broncos travel into Foxboro to take on New England.  The Patriots are favored by 13.5 at this writing.  Suttle World foresees this week's Tebow miracle to be covering the spread, not advancing to next Sunday's (1/22) conference finals/Suttle World 2012 First of Five High Holy Days of Sport.  The New England defense is porous, but this is Tom Brady time in his own house.  A cursory look at the Sunday doubleheader comes the gentle surfer's way Sunday.  Finally, while in the football aisle, Gene, the Caucasian's Pigskin Picks, readily admits to having sheepishly wandered away the past several weeks, after this year's winnings fell to the meager +$20 mark (on $1100 worth of wagers!).  The Caucasian sees no great opportunity on the board today, save the aforementioned Broncos, and would not disagree with any gentle surfer who took Denver and the 13.5 (pays the typical 9:10, but shop for a deal), or mixed it with a parlay that would also take Frisco and the 3.5 (definitely paying 13:5 everywhere)---how many times is the gentle surfer going to get points at home in the playoffs?  Regardless, Gino will continue to monitor the charts and graphs---prepared to step forward with another wager if it feels it unlikely to make it go into the hole for the season.  The Caucasian is also capable of calling it a day, and simply buy five gallons of gas for its season long troubles.

...Every Day Is Saturday has always been among the busiest on this end of Suttle World, in stark contrast to a very predictable traffic pattern to the site in which Every Day Is Saturday is typically the "slowest."  Nonetheless, Suttle World resolves that as a short, regular feature this coming (and subsequent) Sunday(s), Suttle World will ensure  the gentle surfer is up to the minute with a George Washington University mighty fighting Colonials basketball roundup.  Again, there's usually time on Sunday, the typical Saturday game is in the books, and, in the next 24 hours, Suttle World will have dug through a drawer to find the appropriate black arm band to wear while relating such mournful news.  Today, GW (x-x, x-x---as in obscene record) plays an oddly timed, inter-conference game at Harvard.  Tomorrow the carnage in a breakfast appropriate tone.

...The Suttle World Every Day Is Saturday Race of the Day...Today we look south to Gulfstream Park, and the 10th offering on their card (post time 4:45 EST), when a field of 12 four year olds and up are set to cover a mile and a sixteenth over the turf in the $100,000, Grade III Ft. Lauderdale Stakes.  As always, in cooperation with Suttle World, the Daily Racing Form provides charts and graphs/past performance for the weekly romp, gratis to the gentle surfer for merely clicking here.  No prohibitive favorite this week (to not win the damn race), but at first glance its not hard to see why the import #5 Mutual Respect is the 3:1 morning line favorite.  Given the size of the field, and Suttle World's special ineptitude at handicapping turf races, more study is required than time currently allows.  Updated picks are likely before post (and kickoff).  The gentle surfer is encouraged to contact Suttle World with its own picks and notions regarding the Suttle World Every Day Is Saturday Race of the Day, or any other thoroughbred related matter (excepting that Suttle World doesn't wish to buy a horse).

January 13, 2012

...Suttle World makes a belated return, and did the ever inept staff leave a huge pile on which to catch up, or what?  There's a rather eventful week in review to cover, and a fast and furious NFL division playoff weekend of doubleheaders both Saturday and Sunday to preview.  First, a tad of in-housekeeping.  Suttle World is pleased to report to the gentle surfer that Suttle World and bride of Suttle World have returned to their upright and locked positions.  Despite a most harrowing trip, bride of Suttle World arrived on-time in the stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 transportation corridor yesterday evening, and presents herself nearing full recovery.  Suttle World cannot claim to have been struck nearly as bad by the contagion as was bride of Suttle World, and can only use apathy and attention to other duties as excuses for the absence.

...New Hampshire.  No real surprises here.  Sure, Mitt would have preferred to have had a larger margin of victory, but the "native son" did well enough.  Suttle World finds Ron Paul's nice run to be fun, but, as the gentle surfer is well aware, Jesus will return before Paul gets the nomination of the Republican Party.  With no consensus on a "far right/really, really "conservative,"" (Suttle World believes that the preceding use of three consecutive punctuation marks to actually be appropriate/correct) Santorum, Huntsman and Gingrich can continue to share those constituency(ies).  Bottom line:  if Romney wins SC, this party's over (funny, no?).  The sooner its over, the better the chances of unseating the incumbent, and unseating President Obama is job one.  Suttle World stipulates that this is far from any sort of unique take on any level, and suggests such a train of thought is from the Hardee's "and that's just the way it is" aisle.

...BCS Championship.  Suttle World saw not a minute of same, and from all accounts, is no worse for it.  These same accounts also would have Suttle World voting with the majority, and declaring Alabama the "national champion."  Oklahoma State being shut out notwithstanding, this was as close to a playoff as the gentle surfer gets, and Alabama won the "championship" game.  Scoreboard.  Of course, Suttle World is most pleased by reports that the powers to be (who are there people, and who made them king?), are giving serious consideration to at least a four team playoff being put in place when the current contract expires in two years.  Much to Suttle World's amazement, no definite date has been posted for the 2012 Chik-Fil-A Kickoff Games---an interesting and highly unusual football doubleheader with Auburn v. Clemson and Tennessee v. NC State at the Georgia Dome (likely, the last weekend of August).

...Though seen after the fact, Suttle World believes one Handsome Dick Manitoba to have hit a round tripper in his four minute appearance on Jimmy Fallon's show Tuesday night/Wednesday morning.  The gentle surfer may judge for itself by clicking here---gratis, courtesy of our friends at Yahoo's Y Screen and hulu/legit content reproduction.  Though the Handsome One reminds all himself in the above video, the gentle surfer also reminded by Suttle World that when in NYC, a stop at Manitoba's, 99 Ave B (@ E 6th) is an absolute must.  Also, there are evidently a few of the numbered, limited edition, HDM Throbblehead® dolls still to be had by clicking the preceding link.  The cherished pieces are set to begin shipping in mid February. 

...Being the eternal positive spirit that it is, Suttle World is certain this weekend's four NFL playoff games will be much more compelling than the overwhelming majority of last weekend's offerings.  Same Bat Times (4:30 & 8:00 Sat; 1:00 & 4:30 Sunday---EST)  Different Bat Stations.  The gentle surfer need merely consulate its local listings, or wait for tomorrow's publication of the Suttle World Every Day Is Saturday playoff preview edition.

..."(Reuters) - A union benefits fund filed a class action suit Wednesday, accusing Walgreen Co and generic drug maker Par Pharmaceutical Cos Inc of overcharging for various generic drugs in a bid to boost profits.  The complaint, filed by the United Food and Commercial Workers Unions and Employers Midwest Health and Pension Fund, alleges that Walgreen, the largest U.S. drugstore chain, violated federal racketeering laws."  This makes Suttle World's hair hurt.  Now, if Walgreen's violated the terms of some agreement with the gunion, press forward.  Otherwise, in Suttle World, there's no such thing as "overcharging."  If there's a Walgreen's, there are also major competitors---free standing drug stores, and fully stocked apothecaries in many supermarkets.  Pick up the damn phone, and shop around!  Check the net for God's sake!  These are generic pharmaceuticals!  And Suttle World wonders as to why it will visit the doc later today regarding its elevated blood pressure?

..."(AFP) - A cash-strapped New Zealander is auctioning off the chance to put a tattoo on her derriere so she can pay her bills...She set up an online auction under the title "Your Tattoo on my Bum" and within 24 hours bidding had reached NZ$10,250 (US$8,135) while another three people have followed suit with auctions offering body parts to be tattooed."  Suttle World finds this notable only because it took this long for someone to figure out this marketing ploy.

January 11, 2012

...A hideous contagion has overtaken the denizens of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0.  Recovery is well underway from the URI that the Suttle World epidemiology department believes to have been imported from the ATL last week.  Regular Suttle World publication is expected to resume Thursday. 

January 8, 2012

...Suttle World extends its birthday wishes across the pond to David Bowie, who turns 65 today.  Now something of a recluse following a cardiac event several years ago, Bowie remains. in the mind of Suttle World, perhaps The true renaissance man of its lifetime---25 studio albums, 9 live lps, numerous film production awards and leads in major Broadway shows being a few of the achievements on Ziggy's jaw dropping resume. 

...Predictable outcomes with very little excitement was the hallmark of the NFL's first day of wild card playoff weekend.  In the opener, very questionable play calling, combined with poor clock and "challenge" management doomed a mediocre Bengals team to offer up the first ever playoff win for the Houston Texans in their very first post-season appearance.  The night cap saw a juggernaut that is the Saints offense overwhelm the Lions who will have to "wait 'til year" for the 55th consecutive season.  Today's doubleheader begins at 1:00 (EST) with the Falcons traveling to the Meadowlands to take on the Giants, while the Steelers and Broncos face off in the 4:30 game.  New York and Pittsburgh should both win handily, and advance to play next weekend, while the Atlanta and Denver squads will be making tee times come tomorrow morning.  Gene, the Caucasian, is not thrilled by the numbers on the odds board, but, if compelled to wager, would take both favorites, and spot the three and nine points, respectively, in a parlay that would pay 13:5.

January 7, 2012

...Suttle World rhetorically inquires of the gentle surfer if there is a better way to start off the first Every Day is Saturday of the new year than with news and takes about the world's greatest rock n roll band, The Dictators?  First, the band, Manitoba (composed of three Dictators and bass player Dean Rispler), will play a benefit in Asbury Park, NJ next Friday (1/13) to be followed by a more "conventional" show at the Bowery Electric in NYC on January 26th.  Future dates for the act (featuring Ross the Boss, JP, Thunderbolt, Patterson and Handsome Dick Manitoba) have been anticipated, but the gentle surfer is urged to "hold all tickets," as a stewards' inquiry has been lodged.  A recent lengthy post by HDM via social media indicates that much like the seven year cicada, detente may once again prevail between the constantly feuding Manitoba and Shernoff camps---providing a glimmer of hope that The Dictators may well be seen again as a whole.  Next, and of more immediate interest, is the announcement this week that Mr. Manitoba (a/k/a The Handsomest Man in Rock n Roll; a/k/a King of Men) will be making an appearance Tuesday night/Wednesday morning on the Late Night with Jimmy Fallon show (12:35 EST - NBC).  Other scheduled guests include Tina Fey and Dylan Ratigan.  Suttle World can only assume that Manitoba will appear to bask in the glory of the upcoming "release" of his own bobble head doll in mid February.   Only 1,000 of the numbered pieces have been fabricated, and are nearly sold out.  One has been reserved for Suttle World---a highly anticipated addition to stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0.

...Yes, there is a reason that Suttle World has been remiss in discussing the results of the Iowa caucuses earlier this week.  First, it was four years ago that Suttle World urged that mercy be shown, and the plug be pulled on the McCain campaign.  Second, this time around, the results were pretty much as expected.  Logic dictates that only Romney has the money and organization to run effective campaigns in the upcoming SC and FL contests---just as was the case in 2008.

...Suttle World extends a genuine belated AMF to Atlanta and national sports broadcaster Jim Huber, who shuffled off this mortal coil Monday at the tender age of 67.  Huber was the consummate pro, and covered or called nearly every game on the planet, save moto-ball.

...Bride of Suttle World continues to recover from a daunting getaway Thursday that included a minor, yet rather painful, podiatric procedure.  The offending right great toe appears to be on the mend, and normal ambulation should soon be the order of the day.

...The first day of NFL playoffs gets underway this afternoon when the Bengals and Texans kick things off in Houston at 4:30.  Detroit at New Orleans constitutes the second half of the first of two wildcard weekend doubleheaders.  As compelling as the start of the post season may be, the gentle surfer is cautioned to not skip by today's collegiate gridiron offering. Its a clash of the titans, as SMU faces Pitt in the always compelling BBVA Compass Bowl in Birmingham (1:00 EST - ESPN).  The gentle surfer that is a tad foggy on the storied history of this epic event can be brought up to speed best by the bowl game's own website that explains:  "On November 16, 2006 Papa John's became title sponsor of the Inaugural Papajohns.com Bowl owned and operated by ESPN Regional Television. Since 2006 the bowl game has produced an economic impact of more that $53 million dollars.  The PapaJohns.com Bowl marked the return of post-season football in the City of Birmingham which previously hosted the Dixie Bowl (1947-1948), the Hall of Fame Bowl (1977-1985), and the All American Bowl (1986-1990).  BBVA Compass, the leading financial institution in the Sunbelt Region and one of the 20 largest financial institutions in the United States based on market share, became title sponsor on November 4, 2010."  Birmingham, Alabama---America's bowl game burial ground.  This is no Blue-Grey Classic, but it comes damn close.

...The Suttle World Every Day Is Saturday Race of the Day is the Grade III Sham Stakes---a mile on the Santa Anita dirt for a field of six three-year olds.  As always, in cooperation with Suttle World, the Daily Racing Form, provides past performances for the featured event gratis for the gentle surfer who clicks here.  Following the click, the gentle surfer will soon note that once again there is a prohibitive favorite much like last week when the prohibitive favorite finished out of the money.  Regardless, Suttle World sees few, if any, wagering opportunities in the race with a 4:32 (EST) post time.

..."DETROIT (AP) — The Detroit Children's Museum has closed again amid ongoing financial problems at the shuttered Detroit Science Center, which runs the attraction."  Suttle World is confident that curators doubled checked to make sure all kids were released from the exhibits they inhabited before locking the doors.

January 6, 2012

...Suttle World extends its apologies to the gentle surfer for the lack of Thursday's update.  A now resolved internet connectivity issue has been resolved.

..."LAKELAND, Fla. (AP) — It's a tense time at Imperial Tropicals, one of central Florida's largest ornamental fish farms.  It will be days, if not weeks, before farmer Fran Drawdy discovers how the recent cold snap will affect her fish.  Her millions of platies, mollies and guppies in outdoor ponds could die quickly from the drastic temperature change — it went from 80 degrees on Christmas to 20 degrees two weeks later — or they could fall sick and linger from stress or a fungus."  Suttle World admires entrepreneurs, and, consequently, offers a little business advise for the owners and operators of Imperial Tropicals:  mix in a freakin' heater!

..."LOS ANGELES (AP) — HBO fired a shot across Netflix's bow this week, confirming it will no longer sell discounted DVDs of hit shows like "Boardwalk Empire" to the subscription video service.  The move by Time Warner Inc.'s pay TV channel is more antagonistic than damaging. Netflix Inc. can maintain its mail-order movie rental offerings by buying HBO discs from other sources — even retail stores. "Netflix will continue to provide HBO programming on DVD and Blu-ray discs for our members," spokesman Steve Swasey said in a statement."  Sources close to Suttle World indicate that the move was made to ensure that a monthly subscription to HBO remains to the most overpriced good or service on the planet---a distinction the network has held for decades.

..."DENVER (Reuters) - A 36-year-old woman was accused of causing $10,000 worth of damage to a painting by the late abstract expressionist artist Clyfford Still, a work valued at more than $30 million, authorities said on Wednesday.  A police report said Carmen Tisch punched and scratched the painting, an oil-on-canvas called "1957-J no.2", at the recently opened Clyfford Still museum in Denver and pulled her pants down to slide her buttocks against it.  Tisch was charged with felony criminal mischief on Wednesday and has been held on a $20,000 bond since the incident in late December, said Lynn Kimbrough, spokeswoman for the Denver District Attorney's Office."  Judging from the post-vandalism pictorial depiction of the painting (shown to the right---click to enlarge), Carmen must have a very large butt.

January 4, 2012

...Analyses and notions regarding Iowa to come---perhaps later today, but most likely with Thursday's update.

January 3, 2012

...(Henderson Times-News) - Henderson County schools are closed today for students due to inclement weather and is an optional teacher work day. Snow began falling at about 6:30 p.m. Monday in Henderson County, leaving many roads covered in ice."  And so the first winter weather "event" of 2012 has fallen upon stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0.  Only an inch of frozen precip has been recorded, but with temps hovering around 15°, roadways are treacherous to say the least.  Bride of Suttle World's typical Tuesday morning commute has been delayed, and revenues to Duke Energy continue to rise.

January 2, 2012

..."(Des Moines Register) - The Des Moines Register’s latest Iowa Poll shows a surprise three-way match-up in contention to win the Iowa Republican caucuses: Mitt Romney, Ron Paul and Rick Santorum."  Now, Santorum is the flavor of the week, but he picked a good week, given the caucuses will be held Tuesday evening.  Regardless, even a Santorum win in Iowa most likely won't help a candidate without any semblance of a national campaign apparatus in place.  Such is the case with the entire field, excluding Romney---a state of affairs that most likely will make the former Massachusetts governor the GOP nominee.

...The NFL playoffs are set, with few, if any, surprises to be found as the regular season came to a close Sunday night.  More as the week progresses towards Every Day Is Saturday's start of the post-season.

January 1, 2012 - New Year's Day

...The gentle surfer is duly welcomed to 2012.

..."SEOUL (Reuters) - North Korea called on its people to rally behind new leader Kim Jong-un and protect him as "human shields" while working to solve the "burning issue" of food shortages by upholding the policies of his late father, Kim Jong-il."  Sometimes it just takes some shakeup at the top.  This is the best idea to come out of North Korea in over 60 years, and one that could lead to full employment in the impoverished communist nation.  Its going to take a lot of skinny, starving Koreans to form a human shield around this moose of a new fearless leader.

..."(AFP) - A Swedish woman who lost her wedding ring 16 years ago was flabbergasted when she found it again, around a carrot growing in her garden, media reported Saturday.  Lena Paahlsson had taken off the white gold ring before a Christmas baking session with her daughters in 1995, but it had disappeared from the kitchen counter where she placed it...The family thinks the ring must have fallen into the sink back in 1995 and been mixed with potato peels that were composted or fed to the sheep, since all the soil in the garden comes from composted vegetables and sheep dung."  And so the physical metaphor of the ring, and its eternal cycle of life is once again held out to be true.  Suttle World would also highly recommend that Lena wash her carrots well before consuming same.

......"(CNBC) - Stocks closed lower in the final trading day of a heavily volatile year. The Dow finished higher for the year, while the S&P erased its gains to close out largely flat...Within the blue-chip index, McDonald's [MCD  100.33    -0.48  (-0.48%)] was the top gainer for 2011, surging more than 30 percent, while BofA [BAC  5.56    0.10  (+1.83%)] posted the biggest loss, plunging almost 55 percent. "  Suttle World seems to recall from its formal education in economics that if shares of Bank of America fall below that of a Super Value Meal, something's wrong.

December 31, 2011- New Year's Eve

...AMF to 2011 that will mercifully shuffle off this mortal coil at midnight.  Now, onward and upward towards 2012 with the Olympics, an election and the end of the world.

..."LOS ANGELES (AP) — Russell Brand is divorcing Katy Perry after 14 months of what appeared to be a storybook marriage." The above lead was preceded by a headline that read "AP NEWSBREAK."  Suttle World would suggest that the wire service is getting ahead of itself, and should first provide an AP NEWSBREAK advising Suttle World who the hell Russell Brand and Katy Perry are.  Is this the couple that owns the TCBY franchise just outside Ft. Lauderdale, or that lovely duo that the gentle surfer accidentally left off its Christmas card list this year?  Suttle World truly doesn't know, nor have enough interest to read the remainder of the story to find out.

..."AUGUSTA, Maine (AP) — A man blamed for a fire that destroyed a coffee shop where topless waitresses worked has been found guilty of arson.  A jury convicted Raymond Bellavance Jr. on Friday after deliberating for four hours.  Prosecutors said "anger and jealousy" caused Bellavance to set fire to the coffee shop, where his ex-girlfriend worked as a waitress. Deputy District Attorney Alan Kelley told jurors Bellavance was "a volatile man" who was quick to anger because his former girlfriend was having a relationship with the shop's owner, the Bangor Daily News reported."  Silly Raymond, every gentle surfer knows that in Maine, the topless coffee shop owners always pull the chicks.

..."ST. PETERSBURG, Russia (AP) — Even people who think caviar is to die for might lose their appetite when it's stored in a hospital morgue.  But that's where St. Petersburg police found a huge stash of the delicacy this week — 175 kilograms (385 pounds) stored in the refrigerated space where cadavers are kept."  Suttle World would respectfully suggest that authorities give the caviar one more run through the lab---just to make sure, before beginning any New Year's celebrations.

...Suttle World has yet to watch more than 30 consecutive seconds of any college bowl game this year, and seriously doubts that status will change much over the next 48 hours.

...The Suttle World Every Day Is Saturday Race of the Day is an odd offering---the eighth from Santa Anita.  Seven furlongs worth of the Grade I Le Brea Stakes for three-year-olds on New Year's eve.?  Regardless, the prohibitive favorite, #2 Turbulent Descent, is a prohibitive for a reason---its head and shoulders the best entry in the field of eight as the gentle surfer can easily see in the charts and graphs provided gratis by the Daily Racing Form (part performances here). 

December 30, 2011

..."MURMANSK, Russia (Reuters) - Russia said on Friday it had doused a raging blaze aboard a nuclear submarine after nearly a full day and night, by partially submerging the vessel after battling the flames with water from helicopters and tug boats..."The fire on the submarine has been totally extinguished," Emergencies Minister Sergei Shoigu told officials leading the firefighting effort, more than twenty hours after the blaze began Thursday afternoon at 1220 GMT."  Jay Ward couldn't make this stuff up.  It takes Boris and Natasha over 24 hours to figure out how to put out a fire on a submarine!!?

..."BEIJING (AP) — China has executed 12 people in a single day, including a man who bombed a local tax office...The other 11 people were convicted of crimes including murder and robbery.  China executes more people than any other country — around 4,000 people a year."  Texas governor, Rick, Gump, Perry, sent a congratulatory telegram to the Ministry of Execution in Beijing on behalf of the Lone Star State, only to later learn that the last telegram was transmitted about two years ago.

..."LAS VEGAS (Reuters) - Five busloads of students who stopped in Nevada en route to a ski trip were given a break on Thursday when police let them to go free in exchange for turning over large quantities of marijuana and alcohol stashed in their luggage.  Elko Police Chief Don Zumwalt said the decision to release some 250 teenagers and their young-adult chaperons with a warning, rather than arrest them, hinged in part on a lack of jail space for detaining such a large group in the small northeastern Nevada town."  Sounds like a fair deal to Suttle World.  "Thanks, kids---enjoy your ski trip, heya?"

...Fare of the Day: Boston, MA (BOS) to Fort Lauderdale, FL (FLL) $118 RT, including all taxes on Continental Airlines.  Good for travel on Tuesday and Wednesdays from January 10th through March 14th, 2012.  There is a 7-day advance purchase restriction and no minimum stay is required.

December 29, 2011

...Yes, that was Henderson County's own denizen, 26-year-old Derek Mothershead, featured earlier this week on Good Morning America, or at least video of Mothershead as he gave a beat down to a would be armed robber while tending the We Buy Gold store several miles from stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 last Friday.  The maggot taken into custody is also a suspect in a similar local robbery earlier in December.

..."NEW YORK (Reuters) - Vodkas flavored with citrus and berry have been around for years and recently some newer brands have been trying to create buzz with unusual flavors.  But this holiday season, for the first time, the world's largest vodka brand is trying to appeal to Americans' sweet tooth with zany flavors like "fluffed marshmallow" and "whipped cream."  Armed with the info, Suttle World advises the gentle surfer that is determined to head out on amateur night Saturday to dig out the waders to wear over the second pair of sneakers that would normally to vomited upon.

December 27, 2011

...One week to go until the Iowa caucuses get underway, and Suttle World remains on the record that Ron Paul will win the quadrennial get together.

..."(AFP) - A Czech national was nabbed in Argentina for trying to board a transatlantic flight with 247 live animals including poisonous snakes and endangered reptiles packed in a bulging suitcase, reports said Monday.  The man identified as Karel Abelovsky, 51, was caught while trying to board a flight for Madrid when shocked baggage X-ray technicians and staff at the Iberia Airlines desk at Ezeiza Airport in greater Buenos Aires noticed "organic substances moving inside," local media reported."  Suttle World can hear the amended announcement as the gentle surfer approaches airport security.  "Please remove and place in the plastic bins all shoes, belts, wallets, money, laptops, other electronic devices, genitalia and wolverines."  First, Johnny shoe bomber made the gentle surfer go nature boy on a floor that only 18-20 million have walked upon in the previous 24 hours.  Now. there's no way to hide the gerbil.

...There  is no joy in Mudville/stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0.  Suttle World's fantasy football entry, Team Elvis, fell 13 points shy of winning its league title---falling in the championship game 124-112.  Still, the Team Elvis nameplate continues to enjoy success, although failing to capture its sixth football championship over the past nine years, the baseball club finished second earlier this year, and the Team Elvis hockey entry continues to enjoy a big lead (over 11 opponents) 12 weeks into the regular season.

..."DETROIT (AP) — Detroit's Queen of Soul knows how to throw a Christmas party, and she welcomed in the holiday with glitter, a jazzy musical backdrop and a finale of "Silent Night" with the Four Tops.  Aretha Franklin held her annual Christmas party on Friday at the Detroit Athletic Club, greeting guests in a teal blue gown accented with a silver sequined bodice" (is this the outfit that makes her look like Space Mountain?).  Obviously, Suttle World's invitation was held up by the crush of seasonal mail.

...As 2011 moves towards its close, Suttle World regales the gentle surfer in what it believes to be the law suit of the year.  A fugitive who took a Kansas couple hostage in their home sued them for $235,000. Accused murderer Jesse Dimmick claims Jared and Lindsay Rowley accepted his knifepoint offer of money to hide in their house. But the Rowleys later breached their "oral contract" by escaping as he slept, Dimmick says, "resulting in my being shot in the back by authorities."

December 25, 2011  Christmas Day

...Merry Christmas to all.  Yes, the tie with the hand stitched reindeer is lovely.  No, the Nerf super-tubo nuke launcher is only for outside, and "honest officer, I only had two bowls of eggnog"---nog loosely translating from an ancient Celtic dialect meaning, "damn hand me some booze to pour in here.  This stuff tastes like crap."

December 24, 2011  Christmas Eve

...Christmas Eve 2011...Suttle World extends season's greetings to each and every gentle surfer---adding that its not too late.  Suttle World will wile away the day in front of the pumped in fire, track a full slate of NFL games during Team Elvis' championship weekend, and watch as bride of Suttle World goes Donna Reed by donning an apron, and performing various baking chores.  But fear not, Suttle World's back breaking itinerary does not mean that its too late for the gentle surfer to:  1)  kick the walker out from under grandma, and lunge for the last sweater on the rack at Wal-Mart; 2) drop an 18-24 hour dose of that medically inducing coma drug into the youngsters' frosted flakes this morning; and 3)  decide to contract a contagion that will prevent the gentle surfer from any intended travel---don't want to spread it  around the entire family, especially aunt Millie.

..."BETHLEHEM, West Bank (AP) — Thousands of pilgrims, tourists and local Christians gathered in the biblical West Bank town of Bethlehem on Saturday to begin Christmas Eve celebrations in the traditional birthplace of Jesus...Israel's Tourism Ministry said it expects 90,000 tourists to visit the holy land for the holiday."  Seems to Suttle World that this would be a great location for a seasonal falafel stand.

...The gentle surfer that wishes to track the progress and location of Santa may do so once again this year courtesy of our friends at NORAD by clicking here.  The tradition started in 1955, but, of course, has now gone very high tech with the integration of Google Maps and the like, so, once again, Suttle World is of the fervent hope that some small programming glitch at NORAD doesn't confuse Santa with an incoming ICBM.  Suttle World asks as to whether the Commerce Department might take over this role?  There's a lot less risk, and its not like they're doing anything anyway.

..."WOBURN, Mass. (AP) — A Delaware man who faked his way into Harvard has been sentenced to a year in prison for violating his probation by putting the university on his resume.  Prosecutors say the 25-year-old Wheeler got into Harvard and obtained about $45,000 in financial aid by falsely claiming he attended elite schools, including the Massachusetts Institute of Technology."  And so justice is served, almost.  The next chapter should be played out in a civil court where 100,000 Harvard grads sue for a refund of their tuition from a school that can't vet common criminals.

..."SEATTLE (AP) — Fights, vandalism and arrests marked the release of Nike's new Air Jordan basketball shoes as a shopping rush on stores across the country led to unrest that nearly turned into rioting.  The outbursts of chaos stretched from Washington state to Georgia as shoppers — often waiting for hours in lines — converged on stores Friday in pursuit of the shoes, a retro model of one of the most popular Air Jordans ever made."  Suttle World was of the mistaken opinion that the culture had moved past shoe frenzy, and on to sharing one's feelings about shoes through social media.

December 23, 2011

..."HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) — ...Justice J. Michael Eakin [of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court], writing for a 4-2 majority, concluded in six-line stanzas that a man's attempt to deposit a forged check appearing to be from State Farm didn't constitute insurance fraud.  "Sentenced on the other crimes, he surely won't go free, but we find he can't be guilty of this final felony," Eakin wrote. "Convictions for the forgery and theft are approbated — the sentence for insurance fraud, however, is vacated. The case must be remanded for resentencing, we find, so the trial judge may impose the result he originally had in mind.""  Suttle World finds the poetry quaint, but perhaps used in an improper venue.  As an example, Suttle World wonders as to how an appeal court might rule on the decision.  "We'd like to strike down this shit, but we're guided by precedent.  The judges rhyme is a crisis, but we believe in stare decisis."  Minus the wigs, this an Monty Python bit.

..."DENVER (Reuters) - Snowfall in the Rockies, strong winds in the West and soaking rain in the South caused problems for holiday travelers on the first official day of winter, forecasters said on Thursday."  Suttle World once again hands out an early Christmas gift to the gentle surfer hurriedly making Christmas travel plans.  Don't do it!  Stay home, and save yourself.  Suttle World will not heed its own advice, but will confine travel to Christmas Day itself in damp, but manageable, conditions.

..."HANOI, Vietnam (AP) — Southeast Asia is closer to the equator than the North Pole, but an electronics store in Vietnam is ringing in the holidays with a 15-foot Christmas tree made from more than 2500 unusable cellular phones."  Suttle World would like to welcome Vietnam to the league of nations that get the true meaning of Christmas.

December 21, 2011

..."WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Housing starts and building permits jumped to a 1-1/2 year high in November as demand for rental apartments rose, suggesting the housing market was entering a tentative recovery.  Tuesday's data, which also showed gains in groundbreaking for single-family homes, was the latest sign of a quickening of an economic recovery that still faces risks both at home and abroad."  Suttle World is both unimpressed and rather confused over the celebration.  There are over six million empty housing units that dot the fruited plane.  Please fill these suckers before embarking on a building spree.

...Smoke em if you got em.  Come about 5:00 this evening, winter will officially arrive along with the 2011 winter solstice.  That leaves 366 days until the end of the world.  The gentle surfer should look for a countdown calendar to appear soon on the Suttle World home page.

December 20, 2011

...Obviously numerous superior organs can provide coverage and insight into the death of Kim Jung Il this week.  For Suttle World, the event allows Suttle World to once again beat on two dead horses/notions often espoused by Suttle World.  First, North Korea is not in China's "sphere of influence," it shares a freakin' border with the rogue state!  If China wants to play with the big boys, it will step in and "assist" in the transition of power in a smiling diplomatic manner, if necessary.  This, of course, is from the Suttle World "Let China Do It" School of International Studies.  Second, bring home the 25,000 US personnel (most all military) currently assigned in and around South Korea (and the DMZ).  The only useful purpose these troops have ever served for the last FIFTY-EIGHT YEARS is that of potential cannon (cum rocket) fodder.  Finally, Suttle World does offer props to the dead midget for providing a much needed hook in an otherwise slow (and slowing) news cycle with the onset of the holidays.

..."(Yahoo News) - Scientists have isolated a gene in mice  that works to give them "super memories" and reverses the course of several degenerative mental illnesses like Alzheimer's. And because of the similarity of mice and human brains, a powerful brain pill for humans may now not be far off."  The good news is that should the trials continue to be successful, this is one hell of a Christmas present.  The bad news is that it could mean a lot more sharp geezers with which to deal in years to come.  Suttle World is of the opinion that the final breakthrough will be reached when therapy options include the insertion of a "dimmer" switch, via a minor surgical procedure, as opposed to the pill now proposed.

...The bad news is that Gene, the Caucasian, once again failed to cash a ticket, and is up a pathetic $20 on the season.  Courage.  The good news is that Suttle World's fantasy football entry, Team Elvis, eked out a 1.38 point victory (83.96 - 82.58) over Quagmire in the semi-final round of Suttle World's generic, 10 team on-line league.  Suttle World faces a superior opponent for this week's championship (Thu-Mon), but given the strange NFL Sunday that just passed, Suttle World will proudly field a team, and caffeinate heavily for the Monday night game---pulling for the Falcons' Ryan to Jones hook up early and often against the Saints.  Yes, Suttle World is well aware that relying on the Falcons to perform on Monday night is, politely, a stretch.

..."(Henderson Times-News) - The New York Times Co. announced today that it is in advanced discussions to sell its Regional Media Group -- consisting of 16 regional newspapers, including the Hendersonville Times-News -- to Halifax Media Holdings LLC.  The potential deal includes other print publications and related businesses."  This is heap big news.  The Times owns most of the dailies in and around western North Carolina.  Locally, they do a decent job, excepting on-line, where the web site cannot suck enough.  Updates as they happen.

December 18, 2011

...Results from the Cashcall Futurity yesterday at Hollywood park confirm Suttle World's adage about not wagering on two year olds.

...While in the wagering aisle, Gene, the Caucasian shall step forward, offer up a pigskin pick, and an abbreviated Sunday update will conclude.  There are four home underdogs on the board today, and the Caucasian likes three mightily in a tried and true three team, six point teaser, featuring (net):  Kansas City +19.5 v. Green Bay; Indianapolis +12.5 v. Tennessee; and Denver +13.5 v. New England.  Pays 9:5.    

December 17, 2011

..."(Space.com) - A newfound comet defied long odds on Thursday (Dec. 15), surviving a suicidal dive through the sun's hellishly hot atmosphere, according to NASA scientists.  Comet Lovejoy plunged through the sun's corona at about 7 p.m. EST (midnight GMT on Dec. 16), coming within 87,000 miles (140,000 kilometers) of our star's surface. Temperatures in the corona can reach 2 million degrees Fahrenheit (1.1 million degrees Celsius), so most researchers expected the icy wanderer to be completely destroyed."  In an exclusive interview, comet Lovejoy told Suttle World after the ordeal, "man, that was hotter than hell.  Would you please hand me that bottle of Bactine?"

..."NAGPUR, India (AP) — A high school student in central India was recognized as the world's shortest woman by Guinness World Records on Friday as she turned 18 and said she hopes to earn a degree and make it in Bollywood.  Jyoti Amge stood just 62.8 centimeters (24.7 inches) tall — shorter than the average 2-year-old — when Guinness representatives visiting from London measured her at a ceremony attended by about 30 relatives and friends in the town of Nagpur, in Maharashtra state."  Sources close to Suttle World indicate that Amge has already been approached by an American reality TV producer who wants to cast her and a dozen other midgets living in the same house.  The working name for the project is "Its A Small World After All."  India---a really big country with really little people.  Seriously, the gentle surfer is challenged to name a single Indian (be he Sikh or Cherokee) that will be on an NBA roster when the league finally gets the season started on Christmas Day.  The record will show that the entire above graph was written by the giant of his own family---five foot, nine inch tall (on a good day) Suttle World.

...The record will also show that on Every Day Is Saturday, December 17, 2011 Suttle World advised all gentle surfers that Ron Paul will be victorious (or come damn close) in the Iowa caucuses less than three weeks hence.  Suttle World also remains intrigued that a pundit/consultant with the juice and smarts of Dick Morris still believes that there is a distinct possibility that the ultimate Republican presidential nominee is not currently in the race.

...In an attempt to maintain a new Suttle World feature, Suttle World is proud to present the Everyday Is Saturday Suttle World Race of the Day (it was forgotten by the ever inept staff last week in what would have been the sophomore outing).  Today's offering is the ninth race from Hollywood Park---the Cashcall Futurity, a Grade I stakes for two year olds over a mile and a sixteenth.  As previously related, following intense negations, the Daily Racing Form has graciously agreed to provide the gentle surfer, gratis, with the appropriate charts and graphs/past performances for the Everyday Is Saturday Suttle World Race of the Day, and may be had by clicking here.   Typically, Suttle World views wagering on two-year olds (even this late in the year) to be akin to the philosophy of staying away from college athletics/don't put hard earned money on teenagers.  Typically, Suttle World does not like imports, especially when running in the US for the first time.  That said, a cursory glance at today's PPs shows what Suttle World believes to be incredible value if the morning line of 20:1 holds.  The value is to be found in the #13 colt Desormais.  Its a step up in class, but the colt broke his maiden in his last outing in France carrying more weight, and, most importantly, is the only entry getting FIRST TIME LASIX!  There are no slam dunks, but the latter is a big-time advantage.  So, for a race Suttle World would not normally play, it would take #13 Desormais across the board.  Post time is listed as 7:37 (EST).

December 16, 2011

...Suttle World didn't know it had this much juice in the Green Mountain State.  Suttle World is humbled and flattered to receive mention in this year's annual Waring family Christmas newsletter.  Suttle World would also hasten to add that it was correct to have nominated cuzin Kaitlin as the 2011 author, and takes great satisfaction in knowing that despite the current difficult economic times, she will have a standing temporary seasonal job---or at least through next year when life for all of earth's denizens comes to a screeching halt.

...Suttle World would also like to extend its thanks to the Atlanta Falcons.  More specifically, Suttle World is most grateful for Matt Ryan, Julio Jones and Matt Bryant who combined for 46.08 fantasy points in their trouncing of Jacksonville at the Georgia Dome last night.  Seeing a 46.08 - 0 lead heading into the weekend of Team Elvis' semi-final playoff game is most satisfying.

...Finally, for the gentle surfer who, quite rightly, may be confused by the continuing political rhetoric being tossed around in anticipation of next year's election, may have it all explained by Bill Whittle in his most recent succinct and informative video offering by simply clicking here.  The gentle surfer really needs to see this.

December 13, 2011

..."(Yahoo News) - Michelle Obama has earned her family another place in history. This time, Mrs. Obama will share the honor with more than 300,000 other participants on Sunday who set the record for most people doing jumping jacks in a 24-hour period."  It took three years, but now the First Lady's husband now has an accomplishment to run on in 2012.

..."(Henderson Times-News) - The Henderson County Board of Commissioners unanimously approved major economic incentives Monday for an unnamed manufacturing company looking to invest $115 million to start up operations in Mills River.  The county is offering an incentives package worth $3.75 million over seven years, with hopes of luring a company that two sources familiar with the negotiations confirmed with the Times-News to be the country's second-largest microbrewery, Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., based in northern California."  There's nothing new about state and local governments providing "incentives" to attract new business.  There's also nothing new about Suttle World's confusion that if it offers a county commissioner $3.75 million to build, say, a soccer complex in its backyard, its a crime called bribery.  If the county commission offers a company $3.75 million of taxpayers' money to land a business, its called economic development.

..."WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The Supreme Court on Monday said it will rule for the first time on one of several tough, new state immigration laws, with a decision coming in the middle of the 2012 presidential election campaign."  Suttle World believes there to be two issues of law at hand here.  The first could have implications well beyond that of illegal immigration, as the court wrestles with the notion of federal vs. state jurisdiction over such matters.  The second is much easier.  Suttle World has long been on the record that the high court would strike down the "you don't look like you're from around here" test.

..."NEW YORK (AP) — The Piano Man is now officially a Steinway man.  A Billy Joel portrait has been unveiled in New York City at Steinway Hall, home to the famed piano maker Steinway & Sons."  Of course this is a crime against God and nature.  Joel should be the only portrait hung.  Suttle World has long contended that if Billy Joel were only half as good as Billy Joel thinks he is, the man would be the greatest act in the history of music.  Just ask him.

...For the gentle surfer keeping score at home, Suttle World's Team Elvis dropped the final game of the regular season, finishing 7-7, but made the playoffs as the third of four seeds in a league that ended with the top team at 9-5, one at 8-6, six at 7-7, and the bottom two at 6-8.  Its far and away the most closely bunched league Suttle World has witnessed in nearly 20 years of participating in this tedious exercise.  The semi-final playoff round begins this week, as Suttle World heads towards Minneapolis to gently rub the ankle of Adrian Peterson in the hope that he will return to action.

December 11, 2011

..."MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - A powerful 6.5 magnitude earthquake shook Mexico on Saturday, killing at least two people, knocking out lights in parts of the capital and sending people rushing into the streets."  A 6.5 earthquake strikes the third most populated city on the planet, and, unfortunately two lost their lives.  Meanwhile, the Mexican government says that 34,612 were killed in the country last year due to the man-made disaster of drug prohibition.

...Taking "my grandmother died" to a whole new level.  "BROOKVILLE, Pa. (AP) — Authorities in northwestern Pennsylvania say a man published an obituary for his living mother in a ploy to get paid bereavement time off from work.  Relatives called The Jeffersonian Democrat newspaper in Brookville after the obit appeared to report the woman was actually alive and well. The woman herself then visited the paper.  Brookville police charged 45-year-old Scott Bennett on Tuesday with disorderly conduct."  Memo to Scott Bennett:  Suttle World does not recommend that you dwell by the mailbox awaiting Christmas greetings from dear old mom.  The "good" news is that disorderly conduct is typically defined as:  a person who recklessly, knowingly, or intentionally:  (1) engages in fighting or in tumultuous conduct; (2) makes unreasonable noise and continues to do so after being asked to stop; or (3) disrupts a lawful assembly of persons. Suttle World doubts the misdemeanor charges will stick

..."SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Moon watchers in the western U.S., Hawaii and elsewhere across the globe were treated Saturday to a rare celestial phenomenon: a total lunar eclipse...The last total lunar eclipse was on June 15 although that was not visible from the U.S. The next one is on April 15, 2014, and will be seen in the U.S."  The gentle surfer is urged not to make big plans for the next eclipse.  Although it may be visible, nobody will be around to watch, given the end of the world in now a mere 386 days away.

...Despite traditionally being the 14th and final regular season weekend for the millions of fantasy football players around the globe, Gene, the Caucasian, is going to pass on this Sunday's wager.  There's simply noting on the board that is of great interest to the Caucasian.  Meanwhile, an injury depleted roster most likely leaves Suttle World's Team Elvis fantasy team circling the bowl, despite sitting in second place as the final week continues.

December 10, 2011

..."(NY Daily News) - With the wheels coming off the GOP debate he is supposed to host, Donald Trump admitted Friday that he’s looking into canceling the sparsely-attended forum."  This surprises Suttle World, because the fewer the number of candidates the more the gentle surfer can be treated to Donald Trump---quite possibly the most self absorbed human on the planet.

..."(MyFoxDC.com) - NEW YORK - The average US household lost $21,261 of net worth this summer, the largest decline in family wealth in nearly three years.  The drop in the third quarter, tied to falling home values and a cratering stock market, is the second straight quarter of eroding wealth, according to the Federal Reserve's quarterly report, released Thursday."  News the gentle surfer can use at it heads into an election year, three week hence.

..."(Yahoo Sports) - Though it appears that most St. Louis Cardinals fans are joking by saying they want to tear down the Albert Pujols statue in a fit of rage, the St. Louis restaurant it stands beside is taking no chances.  In the wake of the superstar defecting to the Los Angeles Angels for a 10-year, $254 million contract on Thursday, the Pujols 5 Grill has reportedly stationed a security guard outside near the statue of Pujols that it erected just last month."  The Angels offered the most money to arguably the best MLB player now wearing a uniform, but Suttle World has to believe that Pujols' net salary after the ten year deal is done will be less that the $210 offered by the Cardinals, given he will now pay over half his state income tax in California.

...As the gentle surfer is well aware, the computer has decided that all must witness a re-match of LSU and Alabama in the BCS "Championship" game.  Of course the first meeting was a not so thrilling 9-6 LSU victory in November.  Ramping up the excitement is a 36 day wait between the teams last regular season game and the BCS that will be played JANUARY 9!

December 7, 2011

...The record will show that 70 years ago today, the empire of Japan launched an unprovoked attack against United States' naval assets at Pearl Harbor in the Hawaiian Islands, resulting in over 2400 deaths, and the entry of the US into World War II.

December 5, 2011

..."(The Local - "Sweeen's News in English") - A man from Nyköping in eastern Sweden has been denied a power wheelchair despite having had both of his legs amputated as the local health authority remained "uncertain if the impairment was permanent.  The man had his legs amputated after a long struggle with diabetes, but despite being unable get about, his application for a power wheelchair has been denied."  Suttle World has little sympathy.  Had the geezer simply listened to his television, and called Hoveround, he would have received his new buggy free.

...The hideous St. Louis Rams put up the big goose egg against the 49ers yesterday, and in doing so, prevent Gene, the Caucasian, from cashing a winning ticket for a third straight week!  The dutifully following gentle surfer is now up a mere $120 on the NFL season.  While in the NFL aisle, Aaron Rodgers is now playing in the scary zone where few others have ever dwelled.

..."(New York Post) - Picking up on the wildly popular Metro-North and NJ Transit program, the LIRR will forbid cellphones, electronics and loud talk on certain trips, the MTA said yesterday.  Starting today during peak hours on the Far Rockaway Branch, the last car in the morning rush and the first car at night will be free from distractions and noisy passengers.  “As more and more electronic devices enter our lives . . . many of our customers have asked for some relief from the noise they can create during their commute to and from work and other activities,” said LIRR President Helena Williams."  Suttle World has no advice for the gentle surfer commuting in and around NYC as to how to deal with a confrontation of "hey,  are you not talking to me!?"

December 4, 2011

...AMF to Big Al.  "LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - "Laugh-In" actor Alan Sues, who was known for playing outlandish and effeminate characters on television, has died at age 85, a statement on his website said."  Sues was a scream, and Suttle World initiates the big send off parade with a hearty "tinkle-tinkle."

..."BURLINGTON, Vt. (AP) — Police in Vermont say a woman who might have been angry about a dead raccoon left on a street took its bloody carcass to City Hall and angrily slammed it against the building's doors.  Burlington police say the woman left the raccoon's body outside City Hall before walking off one morning two weeks ago."  Suttle World declares that such destructive behavior should be dealt with by the full extent of the law.  That raccoon could have fed a family of four for two days.

...Its Sunday, and Gene, the Caucasian desperately needs to get back on his winning ways with this week's Pigskin Picks.  Of course all the talk around the wagering water cooler this week surrounds the 21 points the Patriots are spotting winless Indianapolis in Foxboro this afternoon.  Such lines are rarely seen in the NFL, and even fewer are covered.  The Caucasian cannot resist piling on an extra TD, by using it in this week's tried and true three team, six point teaser featuring (net):  Indianapolis +27 @ New England; St. Louis +20 @ San Francisco; and St. Louis @ San Francisco over 32.  Pays 9:5.

December 3, 2011

...Putting up the traditional holiday decorations and music simply escaped Suttle World with the onset of December.  As is obvious on the home page, all has been rectified.

..."SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (AP) — Former Democratic presidential candidate George McGovern was being treated at a hospital in South Dakota after falling and hitting his head on the pavement outside a library bearing his name."  Suttle World is outraged.  McGovern, 89, fell hard damn near 40 years ago, and nobody has helped him up in the interim!?

..."SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — A father who believes a lack of bone marrow donors contributed to his son's death from leukemia says a federal court ruling allowing most bone marrow donors to be paid will save lives and drive down treatment costs.  The appeals court ruled Thursday that most bone marrow donors can be paid, overturning the government's interpretation of a decades-old law making such compensation a crime punishable by up to five years in prison."  Suttle World is pleased with the court ruling, and is of the hope that this will lead to an open market in the trading of human tissue and organs.  The gentle surfer taken aback by such a notion is reminded that:  1)  the gentle surfer's precious bodily tissue and organs are exclusively the property of the gentle surfer, and may be disposed of in any manner that the gentle surfer desires (in not so abstract, libertarian theory).  2)  if organs had a market value, and the gentle surfer could leave its precious bodily tissue and organs as part of, say, its estate, would not the gentle surfer be more inclined to take better care itself to enhance the value of its estate?  Would not the consequence be a general improvement in public health, and a resultant reduction in medical care delivered due to less demand?  Would not, in a market based system, a reduction in demand for treatment, especially of chronic, organ destroying/value diminishing diseases, reduce the cost of medical care?  Suttle World never ceases to be amazed at the efficiency at which Mr. Market works---if only government would get the hell out of the way, and let it work.

..."NEW YORK (AP) — JetBlue and the Canadian airline WestJet have won permission to expand their flights to New York's LaGuardia Airport.  The U.S. Department of Transportation said Thursday that the two airlines beat out five other companies in an auction for the slots at LaGuardia. Each airline will get eight daily flights there. JetBlue already has a small number of flights at LaGuardia, but the flights will be the first for WestJet."  Sources close to Suttle World indicate that Louie, "the lip buster" and Tire Iron Vinnie did the majority of the beating.  Suttle World imagines that obtaining gate space at LGA is a tad more involved that, say, Kansas City.  The cost of grease alone would be tremendous, as it has always been Suttle World's experience that New York is a city with no shortage of palms begging for lubrication.

...Saturday college football...Suttle World will try to keep a positive outlook, by pointing out that George Washington went undefeated once again this year.  Several of the lower division playoff games are offered, and typically provide for entertaining programming.  The only conference championship game today of any significance is the SEC's where #1 LSU squares off against #12 Georgia at the Georgia Dome (4:00 EST - CBS).  No, Georgia has no chance to beat LSU, but has a very tempting chance to cover a 13.5 point spread in what is basically a home game (OK---so it didn't work out against Boise State earlier in the year, but its 10 straight wins now, right?).  The other "big game" on today's limited schedule kicks off tonight at 8:00 (EST - ABC) when #13 Oklahoma travels to take on #3 Oklahoma State, where, at home, the Cowboys should easily cover the three points they're spotting as of this writing.  Of, course, Suttle World will pull for any team that will aid in further proving the current BCS system to be the hideous creature that it is.  Finally, the above musings regarding point spreads are just that.  Please recall the long standing policy of both Suttle World and Gene, the Caucasian, regarding not wagering on college athletics/putting money down on the performance of 19 year olds.  The best show of the weekend may well be at noon (EST - CBS) today, when Carolina tips off against Kentucky in Lexington.  Polls are nuts in early December, but these are certainly two of the best five college basketball teams in the country.

...Finally, Suttle World is pleased to begin a regular Every Day Is Saturday presentation:  The Every Day Is Saturday Featured Race of the Day.  First, Suttle World would like to extend its thanks to the Daily Racing Form (drf.com).  Following intense negotiations, the official historian for the sport of kings has agreed to offer free past performances on its website for each Every Day Is Saturday Featured Race of the Day here forward.  Today's featured offering the is a sprint for two-year olds:  the six furlong, $100k, Spectacular Bid--- 9th on the card at Gulfstream Park.  Post time is scheduled for 4:33 (EST).  At first glance, the #5 Luke of York is a legitimate morning line favorite at 5:2.  Suttle World is attracted to the #7 Ancient Rome and #8 Town Prize of the eight colt field.  Future Every Day Is Saturday Featured Race of the Day posts should include more in depth analysis than the brief inaugural take (that may be amended later in the day).

December 2, 2011

..."(The Sideshow) - A small Kentucky church has chosen to ban marriages and even some worship services for interracial couples. The Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church, located in Pike County, made the vote in response to a longtime member who is engaged to a man whose birthplace is in Zimbabwe."  Suttle World has no problem with this whatsoever, believing the church enjoys the privilege of making such policy, and should be able to do so without any fear of sanction from government.  Stella Harville is the (Suttle World is going to assume to be former) church member involved, and Suttle World is certain that she and her African fiancé will find many houses of worship in and around the Lexington area that will openly embrace them.  Suttle World is also confident that this will never be an issue again for a member of the Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church in the future, now that all know where all stand.  Due to the ever inept staff, at this writing Suttle World is unsure who is the patron saint of mouth breathing "Baptist" bigots.  No, there's no Saint Mit)h---Suttle World checked.

..."(Henderson Times-News) - PENROSE — Conservationists expect funding to be approved in the next couple weeks to clean up a massive logjam on the French Broad River that poses a threat to water quality and the safety of outdoors enthusiasts...On Thursday, three days after 6 to 8 inches of rain fell on the area, the logjam near the Transylvania Community Airport had grown significantly, and it continues to grow.  The natural dam, believed to have started in 2008 when some large trees fell across the river, now is about 12 feet deep and 100 feet wide, said Bob Twomey, district conservationist for the USDA Natural Resources Conservation Service...Twomey is optimistic that Gov. Beverly Perdue will approve the grant in the next couple of weeks. Two to three months after funds are approved, the cleanup could begin, he said. The actual work — which would require track hoes, chains and cables to remove the debris — is expected to take about two weeks."  Gee, maybe government might want to get involved in clearing the French Broad River from this mess that started three freakin' years ago!  This is the water supply for Asheville, the French Broad Valley generally and stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 (at least those on "city water," as opposed to wells).  The cost estimate is a mere $25,000---not an unusual credit limit on a personal MasterCard.  Only in government.  Suttle World is stunned by the dramatic negative correlation with regard to government expansion and its intuitional "intelligence."

..."WASHINGTON (AP) — Enlisting former President Bill Clinton as a partner, President Barack Obama is announcing a $4 billion effort to increase the energy efficiency of government and private sector buildings, aiming for fuel savings and job creation at no cost to taxpayers."  Suttle World wonders why this immediately conjures images of the guy on TV, wearing a sweater, next to the fire in 1979, and speaking of malaise?  Bubba coming along is irrelevant.  Much more salient is that the gentle surfer may never get a better chance to witness prima facie evidence of Suttle World's long standing (well prior to election) contention that the President is Jimmy Carter 2.0!  Check, and mate.

..."(Isrealnationalnews.com) - [note:  this is a source with which Suttle World is not familiar] Judges overseeing the vote count in Egypt's parliamentary elections say Islamist parties have won a majority of the contested seats in the first round. The judges spoke on condition of anonymity because official results are expected to be released later Thursday.  They say the Muslim Brotherhood could take 45 percent of the seats up for grabs. The liberal Egyptian bloc coalition and the ultra-fundamentalist Nour party are competing for second place.  Together, Islamist parties are expected to control a majority of parliamentary seats by March. This week's vote was the first of six stages of parliamentary elections that will last until then"  Another axiom re-proven today:  Mubarak may not have been a walk in the park, but the most frightening form of government on the planet is democracy.  Suttle World sends its best wishes and sympathies to the already being oppressed minority Egyptian communities---those that have not already fled.  A final note for the record:  Suttle World does not find this state of affairs to be in the interests of the US.

...The mighty fighting Colonials of George Washington University fell to 4-2 in pre A-10 Conference play by virtue of a loss on the road to Kansas State last night.  Suttle World could be pleasantly surprised, but has no expectation that the gentle surfer will find GW associated with any poll of any kind in the near future---the sizzling #79 RPI ranking notwithstanding.  "We're 79!  We're 79!"

...Short and rare note on SOTD.  Suttle World was reminded that this was the first and only "hit" (topping out at #49 on Billboard in '57) for today's act that would later enjoy a good deal more success after the then teens gerw, shifted gears and renamed themselves Simon and Garfunkel.

December 1, 2011

..."BRUSSELS/LONDON (Reuters) - The world's major central banks acted jointly on Wednesday to provide cheaper dollar funding to European banks facing a credit crunch as the euro zone's debt crisis drove EU ministers to urge more IMF help to avert financial disaster.  The emergency move by the U.S. Federal Reserve, the European Central Bank, and the central banks of Japan, Britain, Canada and Switzerland recalled coordinated action to stabilize global markets in the 2008 financial crisis after the collapse of Lehman Brothers."  Suttle World is confused.  The Fed has moved to lend money that it doesn't have to Euro banks that are already broke, and the DOW soars nearly 500 points on the news.  Sounds like another Scotch Tape Store deal to Suttle World.

...Twenty-two year old Matthew Dylan Dyer hit the exacta.  "(Henderson Times-News) - A Polk County man was arrested twice in one day in connection with breaking and entering in the Mill Spring community after police said he bonded out and broke in another home, according to the Polk County Sheriff's Office."  Festus was not immediately available for comment.

..."SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A bird hunter was shot in the buttocks after his dog stepped on a shotgun laid across the bow of a boat.  Sheriff's Deputy Kevin Potter says the 46-year-old Utah man was duck hunting with a friend when he climbed out of the boat to move decoys."  In Suttle World, this is called justice.  Unfortunately, Salt Lake authorities report that at least four area ducks passed away overnight---laughing themselves to death.

..."KALONA, Iowa (AP) — One Iowa town is hoping to raise money for sidewalks by auctioning off naming rights to a local creek.  The creek in Kalona is currently known simply as West Drainage Ditch. The naming rights will be posted on eBay."  Certainly the gentle surfer will agree that Suttle World Creek has a nice ring to it.

November 30, 2011

...The record will show that the first snowfall of the season fell in and around stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 yesterday, November 29.  There was no accumulation.  Higher elevations in the Tar Heel state received a dusting, where two school systems have delayed the start of classes by a couple of hours this morning.

..."PHILADELPHIA (CBS) – Former Philadelphia schools superintendent Arlene Ackerman, who was given a nearly $1-million buyout earlier this year, has applied for unemployment."  Suttle World believes that no further comment is necessary, excepting that Suttle World is unsure how one gets into the school superintendent business, but it appears to be damn good work if one can get it.

..."CATANIA, Italy (NewsCore) - Three Italian brothers suffered heart attacks on the same day, killing two of them.  The third was already in the hospital at the time, visiting his elderly mother, and was immediately treated by medics, the Corriere della Sera reported Tuesday."  Again, Suttle World finds no moral of the story, excepting that its really wierd.

November 29, 2011

...Suttle World failed to mash the magic button yesterday, resulting in the usual daily update being unpublished.

..."(ABC News) - Rep. Barney Frank, the first serving member of Congress to come out as gay and a powerful Democrat whose name is attached to the sweeping Wall Street reform bill, announced today that he will not seek reelection in 2012."  And a grateful nation rejoices.

...The official bucket has yet to be measured, but nearly three inches of rain fell upon stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 Monday.  Snow showers are forecast for later today, with accumulations between 2-4 inches expected in areas at or above 3500 feet (well above 2250 foot altitude of stately Roberts Manor 2.0).

..."FORT WORTH, Texas (AP) — American Airlines' parent company is seeking Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection as it seeks to unload massive debt built up by years of accelerating jet fuel prices and labor struggles."  Suttle World would remind the gentle surfer that since its inception, the commercial passenger airline industry has yet to turn a profit as a whole.

November 27, 2011

..."NEW YORK (AP) — With a Christmas Day tripleheader on everyone's wish list and a tentative labor agreement in place, NBA owners and union officials went back to work Saturday, relaying details of the deal with hopes of cementing it quickly."  First, Suttle World knows of no gentle surfer with a Christmas Day tripleheader on its wish list.  Second, given the onset of the holidays, bowl season and NFL playoffs underway, Suttle World doubts any humanoid will care when the first official tip-off is tossed amid the pile of ripped and crinkled wrapping paper.  Yes, the league will survive, but it may take years to regain the momentum the NBA has developed over the past couple decades.

..."WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Talk about a dirty scam.  Federal prosecutors in Florida say at least three people working for a septic tank company duped customers into buying about $1 million in unnecessary products — in some cases enough toilet paper to last more than 70 years.  More than a dozen customers were told they needed special toilet paper to avoid ruining their septic tanks because the federal government changed regulations on toilet paper. The federal government does not regulate septic tank products."  Memo to the AP:  the "news" is supposed to be in the lead/first sentence, and a septic tank scam hardly rises to the level of news.  The federal government not regulating septic tank products, now that's news.  This, of course, will soon change once someone in the White House reads the piece, and institutes a Cash for Crappers program that should be in place by late January.

..."(Inside TV) - All the Thanksgiving specials Thursday night couldn’t hold a candle to a repeat of the CBS comedy, which delivered 11.2 million viewers and a 3.6 adult demo rating. Compare that to ABC’s Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (5.8 million, 1.8) and A Very Gaga Thanksgiving (5.4 million, 1.6 — more on that one here) and NBC’s 85th Anniversary of the Thanksgiving Day Parade (3.7 million, 1.1) and Happiness is a Warm Blanket Charlie Brown (5 million, 1.6)."  Perhaps this is a sign that the end is at least 390 days away.

...If its Sunday, it must be time for another sometimes sage prognostication from Gene, the Caucasian, and his Pigskin Picks.  The board is shorter due to the three Thanksgiving games, but there must be value out there somewhere.  Gino finds it the form of the tried and true three team, six point teaser taking (net):  Buffalo +15.5 @ New York Jets; Buffalo @ New York Jets over 35.5; and New York Giants +13 @ New Orleans (Mon. night).  Pays 9:5.

November 26, 2011

..."LOS ANGELES (AP) — A woman trying to improve her chance to buy cheap electronics at a Walmart in a wealthy suburb spewed pepper spray on a crowd of shoppers and 20 people suffered minor injuries, police said Friday."  An interesting strategy, and an early happy holidays greeting from Suttle World.

...Things were a bit quieter in downtown Hendersonville---adjacent to stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0, where the annual lighting of the town Christmas tree took place at dusk in front of the old, historic courthouse yesterday evening.  Suttle World and bride of Suttle World were impressed that Santa would take time from his now very busy schedule to schlep to western NC for a brief appearance, and to light the tree himself. 

...While in the happy holiday aisle..."(CNBC) - The Dow and S&P posted their worst Thanksgiving week since the Great Depression on a percentage basis."

..."MEXICO CITY (AP) — Mexico's archaeology institute downplays theories that the ancient Mayas predicted some sort of apocalypse would occur in 2012, but on Thursday it acknowledged that a second reference to the date exists on a carved fragment found at a southern Mexico ruin site."  The announcement pretty much confirms that the end of life as the gentle surfer has come to know it will end in a mere 391 days (12/21/12).  Smoke em if you got em.

...Twelve points did seem like a lot to spot Arkansas yesterday, but it would have taken twice as many, as #1 LSU mowed down another top ranked opponent in Baton Rouge yesterday afternoon.  Rivalry weekend continues today---starting with Georgia v. Georgia Tech at noon.

November 25, 2011

...Twas a long Thanksgiving day, but Suttle World and bride of Suttle World give thanks for having successfully navigated the holiday---each returning to stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 around 9:00 Thursday night.

..."SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Anti-Wall Street demonstrators in encampments around the country spent Thanksgiving serving turkey, donating time in solidarity with the protest movement and, in some cases, confronting police.  In San Francisco, 400 occupiers at a plaza in the financial district were served traditional Thanksgiving fixings sent by the renowned Glide Memorial Church to volunteers and supporters of the movement fighting social and economic inequality."  Suttle World wonders how the turkey and "traditional Thanksgiving fixings" reached the Occutards.  Suttle World isn't sure, but it is confident that all turkeys and fixings were not produced, harvested, processed and delivered by evil people that decided to risk capital or labor because of a profit motive.   No, it was all done gratis to fill the tummies of 20 year olds who Tweet about oppression from their iPhones.

...Sports pundits have made it official.  The gentle surfer will be privileged to avail itself to the college football "game of the century" at 2:30 (EST - CBS) today, as #3 Arkansas travels to Baton Rouge to take on #1 LSU.  Of course, this eclipses the previous "game of the century," when LSU played Alabama less than three weeks ago.  Arkansas is a very tempting 12 point underdog as of this writing.

...Belated take---Newt indeed distinguished himself this week when he made his remarks about a humane illegal immigrant/immigration policy, and Suttle World sayeth "bravo," Mr. Speaker, even if Suttle World received no attribution.  The comments during the most recent "debate" can't do anything but cost Newt "votes" in the nearing, Jan. 3, Iowa caucuses, but they make sense, and parallel the Suttle World Keeping It Real immigration policy.  They also take some courage to speak, when the "company line" on the right is that of "build a fence, round 'em up, and catapult 'em back over the wall (in a generally southward direction).  No deviation permitted!"  And so once again Newt is truly the smartest guy in the room, but Suttle World, like many others, fear him to be too polarizing a figure to ensure unseating the incumbent next November.  Perhaps a general election campaign would allow the public to warm to Gingrich.  It worked for Bob Dole and John McCain.  OK, so it didn't work out that well, but Suttle World implores the gentle surfer to work with Suttle World here.  Thanksgiving was a long day, and dawn remains a quarter hour hence.

..."PENN HILLS, Pa. (AP) — A wild turkey smashed through a plate glass window at an empty western Pennsylvania restaurant and ended up where millions of its fellow gobblers did on Thanksgiving: a dining room.  Penn Hills police Officer Bernard Sestili tells the WTAE-TV the feathered fowl didn't survive impact when it barreled into the dining room of the Eat'n Park in Penn Hills on Thursday afternoon. The restaurant was closed at the time...[authorities] suspect the turkey may have been roosting in a nearby tree when it "got up this morning and went for his morning flight and flew into the window."  Memo to Penn Hills, PA authorities, and perhaps to public safety officials nationwide:   Suttle World see this as an obvious Kamikaze mission.  Restaurants and grocers are advised to increase security as the turkey, Occupy Stove-Top, movement spreads it wings.  Suttle World expects a number of similar attacks throughout the holiday season.  Suttle World has become privy to email from Tom Turkey, leader of movement, in which he makes it clear, "we'd rather check out while taking out a few of those fat folks who've been noshing on us.  We are coming out of the oven, baby!"  Suttle World will issue further alerts as necessary.

November 24, 2011

...Suttle World extends its most genuine wishes for a happy Thanksgiving to each and every gentle surfer.

November 23, 2011 Thanksgiving Day

..."CHICAGO (AP) —About 42.5 million people are expected to drive, fly or ride trains to their Thanksgiving destinations, according to travel tracker AAA. That's the highest number since the start of the recession."  Suttle World will be among the throng, but will continue its own tradition of traveling on Thanksgiving day.  Suttle World tried the Wednesday travel deal about thirty years ago, learned its lesson, and will never do so again.  Suttle World is of the opinion that the gentle surfer that does travel today is either logistically or intellectually impaired.

..."SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Like Santa Claus on that one foggy Christmas Eve, Microsoft has summoned Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer to guide some precious cargo — a holiday marketing campaign for its Bing search engine...Although the text ads running alongside search results do a fine job of reeling in some customers, they still lack the broader, more visceral impact of a well-done television commercial, said Peter Daboll, chief executive of Ace Metrix, a firm that rates the effectiveness of ads."  The advertising effectiveness rating business is one in which Suttle World has taken an immediate interest.  An ad runs.  A phone call is made to the folks who ran the ad to inquire if sales are up, and, then, call it a day.

November 21, 2011

..."TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) — An employee at an Ohio Big Boy restaurant is charged with pouring animal medication into customer coffee with the intent to poison.  The Blade newspaper reports 36-year-old Edwin Ledgard told Toledo police that he had a delusion to kill customers.  A police report says the Toledo man went to the Frisch's Big Boy on his day off on Friday and poured into a pot of coffee a drug called Dextran, which is used to treat anemia in baby pigs. Police say another worker at the restaurant saw what Ledgard was doing and took vials of the drug from him."

..."WASHINGTON (AP) — Failure by Congress' debt-cutting supercommittee to recommend $1.2 trillion in savings by Wednesday is supposed to automatically trigger spending cuts in the same amount to accomplish that job.  But the same legislators who concocted that budgetary booby trap just four months ago could end up spending the 2012 election year and beyond battling over defusing it."  Suttle World contends that this was a predictable result.  Never send a supercommittee to do the work of a blue ribbon commission.

..."VIENNA (AP) — Satellite surveillance has shown an increase in activity at an Iranian site suspected of links to alleged secret work on nuclear weapons, officials tell The Associated Press."  Reflecting on the story, Suttle World has decided to get into the official business, especially if it pays worth a damn, because, as an official, Suttle World could leak a lot of juicy secrets to the AP:  the US is conducting clandestine surveillance of the communications of suspected terrorists; British intelligence has spy planes; Chinese military development is being monitored by NATO.  The AP is encouraged to contact official Suttle World for more tasty tidbits by clicking here.

...The Bills let down Gene, the Caucasian, and the weekend ticket doesn't cash.  In other NFL news, the NFC East may be the most dysfunctional division in  league history.

November 20, 2011

...The weekend was very unkind to the "big dogs" of the college gridiron.  #2 Oklahoma State falls Friday night, while #4 Oregon is beaten by USC.  #5 Oklahoma goes down at the hands of Baylor, and #7 Clemson is bitched slapped by NC State.  Suttle World has no disagreement that LSU is the best team in the country, and is thrilled by the chaos that now reigns supreme below the top spot.  All that's left is for Georgia to Dawg up and trip LSU in the SEC title game. All hellfire will erupt.

...While in the football aisle on a Sunday, Suttle World may as well allow Gene, the Caucasian's, Pigskin Picks have its say.   Though on the road, a quick glance at the board last Sunday morning revealed an easy three play teaser that didn't require any of the extra points afforded (AZ +20 v. PHI; TEN +13 v. CAR; NO @ ATL over 40---easy stuff), but it wasn't published on time, and won't count in the season long record that is currently up $420.  For Week 11, Gino stays with the wager that brought him this far---the tried and true three team, six point teaser, featuring (net):  Buffalo +9 @ Miami; Tennessee +13 @ Atlanta; and Tennessee @ Atlanta over 38.  Pays 9:5.  Lines at time of publication courtesy of bodog.eu.  

..."(Henderson Times-News) - The bells and the bright red kettles will return to the Blue Ridge Mall after its corporate management reversed a decision to ban Salvation Army bell ringers.  "We've made a mistake," John Gibson, member manager for Hull Storey Gibson Companies LLC in Augusta, Ga., said Saturday.  On Friday, Hull Storey stated the Salvation Army bell ringers would not be allowed at any of the company's 17 enclosed malls in North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, Alabama and Texas. Gibson stated the decision was based on complaints from the customers and tenants. The company has managed the Blue Ridge Mall for the past 10 years."  Suttle World is a big on holiday traditions, and what is more traditional than the annual banning of the bells, and subsequent, quick capitulation.  Suttle World has also long noted that while a big fan of the Salvation Army, that a sign next to the red kettle offering to not ring the bell for $x/minute would fetch a lot more cash in the long run.

..."CINCINNATI (Reuters) - Former Procter & Gamble chief executive John G. Smale, credited with transforming the two major international companies he led during his career, died on Saturday at age 84."  Suttle World extends its condolences to Mr. Smale's family, friends and loved ones.  Still, the mischievous Suttle World cannot help but ponder as to whether the internment of a P&G CEO would have similarities with the Pharaoh's.  The Egyptians (and other ancient cultures) buried their dead with food, weapons and other artifacts believed necessary in the transition to the "other world."  Will Smale be buried with travel size packages of Bold, Secret, Head & Shoulders, Braun, Fixodent, Tide, Swiffer, Tampax, Dawn, Duracell, Herbal Essence, Puffs, Old Spice and Vicks Vapor Rub, et al?  Will Mr. Clean be a pallbearer?  Suttle World was just wondering.

November 19, 2011

...This Every Day Is Saturday is brought to the gentle surfer by the letter "B."  B stands for birthday, and there are two of import today.  After scouring the obituaries of several prominent New England news organs, Suttle World is going to assume that cuzin Pops Waring will be down for breakfast this morning, and in doing so will celebrate the anniversary of his beginning to take in oxygen in a gaseous state is celebrated once again, as has been the case for well over half a century .  Meanwhile in the belated aisle, the gentle surfer will find niece Jessica who completed another orbit of the sun (less than half those of Pops') earlier this week.  Both are awarded 1,000 Suttle World bonus points, and advised to use them in any manner in which they may see fit.  Mazel tov!  Feel free to dobbin in designated areas.

...Down go the Cowboys!  Down to the Cowboys!  That's the previously unbeaten #2 Oklahoma State Cowboys that fell to Iowa State (really!?) last night.  Suttle World would almost begin to take this seriously if an NCAA (formerly) Division I football champion were actually determined, but its not---never has been, and won't be anytime soon.  The absence of same is the most stupid element of American sport.  The gentle surfer may verify, by checking the "list" of NCAA D-1 champions awarded by clicking here.  Suttle World preferred the old page that was basically blank, but hastens to point out that no "champion" was ever selected by the NCAA, as is the case with over 100 other championships awarded in a logical method for every other sport, on every other level, that the organization oversees.

...Suttle World and bride of Suttle World enjoyed a viewing of "Atlas Shrugged - Part I" last night in the comfort of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0.  Both found the flick to be very true to Ayn Rand original, and eagerly await what has been promised to be the next two parts of a trilogy.  For the true believer, no explanation is necessary.  For the skeptic, no explanation will suffice.

..."(AFP) - A Ukrainian wearing a Darth Vader costume made an unexpected appearance at a city hall in the south of the country, demanding a plot of land on which to park his spaceship, local authorities said Friday.  The man wearing the Star Wars villain's costume was shown in a video posted online walking up to the white pillars of the Odessa City Hall with a plastic light sabre as wind ruffled his long black cloak."  The Odessa city council, evidently made no ruling on the request.  Suttle World would also suggest that this is the cruelest consequence of one in five Americans being on a behavior modifying medication---there aren't enough left over for those who really need them.

...From the "I'm no dead yet" file..."JERUSALEM (AP) — A frog species believed to be extinct has hopped back into sight in northern Israel.  Omri Gal of Israel's Nature and Parks Authority said Thursday the Hula Painted Frog was seen for the first time in 50 years this week. He said it was declared extinct...Aquatic ecologist Dana Milstein...credited rehydration of the area for the frog sighting and said more are likely in the reserve."  Suttle World contends that aquatic science geniuses that declare a species extinct for FIFTY freakin' years, and then have the insight to believe if there's one extinct frog that there may be others nearby, have posters of Al Gore on their bedroom ceilings.

..."(Henderson Times-News) CARY — For the third year in a row, the Hendersonville boys soccer team held up a plaque after the 1-A state championship match. But this year, the words on the plaque read a little differently.  Less than 24 hours after defeating Bishop McGuinness in the state semifinal match at home, the Bearcats traveled to Cary to take on N.C. School of Science and Math in the state championship match where the Unicorns defeated HHS 4-0."  The now former defending state champion Bearcats have reached the final match for three consecutive seasons.

November 18, 2011

...Back to business...Suttle World has briefly related details of the Brooklyn Hajj that was busting loose this time last week.  Unrelated, were those interesting items the gentle surfer may encounter, as did Suttle World while logging 1500 miles in the Hajjmobile III.  Signage provided highlights.  No doubt the gentle surfer is familiar with "official" signage encountered when approaching the exit of an interstate highway.  If appropriate, one sign will display the logos of restaurants/eateries at the exit.  A second will display the logo of any innkeepers, and a third shows the gasoline vendors that may be available.  On occasion, a fourth sign will list the logos of "Attractions" to be found at that particular exit.  In the heart of the Shenandoah Valley, the lone exit for Buchanan, VA enjoys all four of the aforementioned signs.  Six "attractions" are proudly displayed, including one for Purgatory Emporium.   Suttle World and bride of Suttle World felt compelled to investigate on the return passage.  Both are disappointed that the joint is an antique shop, but Buchanan proved to be well worth the stop (pics to come---those posted may be clicked to be enlarged).  Mt. Jackson, VA has duckpin bowling at the Shenandoah Lanes, but unfortunately, not at 10:30 am.  Though there were several opportunities to do the ducks, none panned out, but it can be said that Suttle World and bride of Suttle World at least gave it the old junior high school try.  In Bensalem, PA the gentle surfer may evidently pick out a temporary resting spot at Resurrection .  Suttle World and bride of Suttle World neither "wanna be buried/In Res-urrection Cem-e-tery."  Creepy.  Is there a rental rate?  The final sign of note was found on Interstate 78 around Lancaster, PA.  It was official brown signage that typically names an institution of higher learning, historic site, national/state park, etc... to be found at the coming exit.  This particular sign simply read "Hands on Museum."  Suttle World and bride of Suttle World found the name to be disturbing in and of itself, but now even more so, after research reveals that the full name of the joint is the "Hands-On-House Children's Museum"---a short 100 mile drive to lovely Penn State University.  Yes, signs can be fun, but often are disconcerting.  Another "brown sign" on I-40, 30 miles from stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 reads "Barium Springs Home for Children."   Now, that's disturbing.

..."WASHINGTON (AP) — Just as the U.S. economy is making progress despite Europe's turmoil, here come two new threats.  A congressional panel is supposed to agree by Thanksgiving on a deficit-reduction package of at least $1.2 trillion. If it fails, federal spending would automatically be cut by that amount starting in 2013."  First, Suttle World overstates the obvious in pointing out that first sentence above is not a lead.  It is an editorial opinion, and Suttle World pines for the olden days when AP was a true newswire with the Joe Friday take of  "just the facts, ma’m.  Just the facts."  Second, Suttle World fails to see how a 10% reduction in federal spending over a 10 year span constitutes a threat to the US economy.  354 days remain until the 2012 national elections.

...The holidays must be approaching.  "BOSTON (Reuters) - A Power Rangers "samurai mega blade" and a Godzilla figure with dagger-like attachments are some of the most dangerous toys lurking in stores this holiday season, according to a consumer watchdog group.  Per usual:  Suttle World finds the list to be inane, except perhaps the Fold and Go Trampoline that should, most likely, be renamed the Fold and Go to the ER Trampoline.

November 16, 2011

...The recovery continues...

November 15, 2011

...The roadie/Brooklyn Hajj concluded at 6:00 pm Monday, following six days, eight states (each way), and near exactly 1500 miles squished into a five and a half day window.  How great was it?  Suttle World is glad the gentle surfer asked.  It may well have been the greatest of them all.  Logistically, things could not have gone better, with very little traffic encountered on any leg of the trip.  All accommodations, especially three nights at the Sheraton-Brooklyn, were outstanding.  The fellowship with cuzins Sal, Karen and John was uplifting.  The trek to the Ross the Boss batting cages in Queens (a baseball training facility would be a better description) was more fun than allowed by New York law.  Ross remains one the planet's best humanoids.  Suttle World and bride of Suttle World were privileged to visit the September 11 Memorial.  Both Friday and Saturday nights of the four night Norton Records 25th Anniversary Celebration were outstanding.  Suttle World remains road weary at this writing, and will relate further details and depictions later.  A final NYC moment to share with the gentle surfer:  Suttle World and bride of Suttle World stumbled upon the Occutards while roaming lower Manhattan.  Today's lone pic truly says more than a thousand words with regard to the heart and soul of the "movement."  (click on pic to enlarge)

...Suttle World extends a belated happy Veterans Day to all those who have courageously worn the uniform of the respective branches of the United States armed forces.  Veterans Day also marked the FIFTIETH wedding anniversary for neighbors Don and Martha---an achievement Suttle World has yet to see auctioned on eBay.

...A brief and rare Suttle World take on SOTD.  Suttle World was introduced to Sir Reg during its aforementioned travel, and its the first Irish folk punk band Suttle World can recall.  Good stuff---fiddle and everything.

November 8, 2011

...AMF to Smokin' Joe Frazier who shuffled off this mortal coil in a Philadelphia hospice overnight following a brief battle with liver cancer.  Frazier was 67, and one of the greatest heavyweights to ever step into a ring.  

...Today marks the last Suttle World update for the next six or seven days, as Suttle World and bride of Suttle World motor to and from New York City for a brief getaway, and a chance to attend two nights of the Norton Records 25th anniversary shindig.  Suttle World extends its genuine thanks to cuzin/neighbor Frank who will be assuming canine and stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 duties during the absence.

November 7, 2011

...Gene, the Caucasian gets back on the winning track---cashing its teaser ticket following the conclusion of the NFL's prime time game Sunday night.  The compliant gentle surfer is now up over $400 for the 2011-12 season.

..."JOHANNESBURG (AP) — The first time scientists explored deep in the Indian Ocean, they found a new species of glowing squid. Now researchers who are departing from South Africa on Monday with even better equipment are hoping for similar success."  The expedition is being sponsored by the University of Alabama in the hope that scientists can find and capture a species of kicker that can be successful converting field goals in excess of 25 yards.

...The fare of the Day: St. Louis, MO (STL) to Dallas, TX (DFW) $160 RT, including all taxes on Frontier Airlines.  Yes, its a slow morning in Suttle World.

November 6, 2011

...AMF to Andy Rooney who shuffled off this mortal coil yesterday in a New York hospital.  Rooney was 92, and died of complications related to being 92 years old.  Thirty-three years ago, Rooney was introduced to the American public, beginning his famous run of short commentaries on "60 Minutes."  At that point, he had already logged nearly four decades as a war reporter, author, writer and producer in the new fangled medium of television---working with the likes of Arthur Godfrey and Gary Moore.  Rooney was simply one of the few great journalists this nation has produced.

..."(Henderson Times-News) - A long-running dispute between the city of Hendersonville and the owner of an Ace Hardware store over zoning violations was settled Friday in Henderson County District Court."  The beef surrounded the hardware store locating neatly stacked 50 lb. bags of top soil, fertilizer, etc... outside the building.  This was no issue or eyesore for Suttle World, nor for anyone else Suttle World has encountered, but the law is the law.  Meanwhile, the Village of Flat Rock and Henderson County, without any public input, has purchased the 9 hole Highland Lake Golf Club in Flat Rock for $1.1 million, and will turn it into a soccer complex.  Suttle World is not amused at the traffic, light and noise pollution that will follow---a mere five minutes from the door of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor.  Those who live immediately in and around the course are amused even less.

..."(AFP) - A leading Nigerian comic actor arrested on suspicion of ingesting drugs to smuggle to Europe was on Friday freed on bail after 25 closely monitored bowel movements produced nothing suspicious."  Yes, the economy is in rough shape, and folks are desperate to find a job, but Suttle World will pass on the position of bowel movement monitor, thank you.

...Suttle World fondly remembers one of the most compelling football games it ever witnessed.  On December 26, 1970 the Dallas Cowboys defeated the Detroit Lions in a divisional playoff game at the Cotton Bowl by the score of 5-0.  Suttle World seriously doubts it will have any memories, fond or otherwise, of last night's yawner of a "biggest game ever" as #1 LSU beat #2 Alabama 9-6 in overtime.  Memo to the makers of 5 Hour Energy:  your product works as advertised, but Suttle World will be more judicious in the future about consuming same.  Artificial consciousness and a long, boring game (as much poor execution than great defense) in which the clock seemingly stopped after every play is not a good mix.  Should things play out as expected, LSU will meet Georgia in the SEC title game.  If Georgia got crushed at "home" by Boise State in the season opener, the Tigers will be a four touchdown favorite over the Bulldogs in the season's finale.

...While in this football aisle, especially on a Sunday, its time to turn the controls over to Gene, the Caucasian's. Pigskin Picks.  Though still ahead of the game, the Caucasian has endured two consecutive losing weeks, and looks to get back into the ticket cashing business in today's NFL action with his tried and true three team, six point teaser, featuring (net):  Seattle +17 @ Dallas; Washington +10 v. San Francisco; and Baltimore @ Pittsburgh under 48.  Pays 9:5.

November 5, 2011

..."CANNES, France (AP) — This week's G-20 summit was dominated by Europe's debt crisis, but developing countries want the grouping of major economies to refocus on a bigger global agenda that includes creating jobs, improving farming and fighting climate change."  This is getting close.  The gentle surfer now knows what the globe's economic powers want, and is now aware of the desires of emerging nations.  The only piece missing is what Suttle World wants, and since the gentle surfer asked in such a kind manner, here's the start of Suttle World's demands: 1) a pony (along with a barn and someone to feed and care for the critter); 2) the ambassadorship to Switzerland in which Suttle World will spend the winter months in the US to brief the citizens of Palm Beach about US-Swiss relations; 3) the Los Angeles Dodgers, with an exemption from any requirement to be domiciled, reside or pay any taxes in California.  There's more, but Suttle World believes this is a good start from which the G-20 can embark to ensure that Suttle World gets what it wants immediately regardless of cost---present (a true rounding error), future, opportunity or otherwise.  The final point of this disjointed take is that Suttle World stipulates that the little guys (2nd and 3rd world) have a legitimate beef.  Agriculture is a perfect example.  Farm subsidies in 1st world nations (especially the US) make it damn near impossible for the emerging economies to penetrate western markets.  Odd, how the 3rd world is hustling to produce and trade with the west for growth and an improved standard of living while the west continues its attempts to tax and spend their respective economies to prosperity.

...Its the big one! Godzilla!  #1 LSU v. #2 Alabama in Tuscaloosa tonight (CBS-8:00 EDT).  Pundits, in large part, agree with the betting public that has made the Crimson Tide a now 4.5 point favorite (at this writing/7:00 EDT---down from the opening of 5 points).  Suttle World has no clue, and can only hope to remain conscious through what should be a great ball game.  Suttle World is certain that it will not be wandering by the wagering window at anytime today.

...Unless Suttle World should see a chart or graph it really likes in the last nine Breeders' Cup races from Churchill Downs today---with a 7:00 post time for the featured, big daddy running of the Breeders' Cup Classic.  ABC picks up the TV coverage at 2:00, and will hand off to ESPN as the day progresses.  The first post is 11:45 (EDT), and can be seen in all its video streaming glory from the above link.  Today's past performances are also gratis, courtesy of the Breeders' Cup site.  Suttle World's brief perusal of entries for the Classic drew attention to a Kiwi invader, in the form of #5 So You Think.  The late blooming five year old has won four Grade 1 stakes races overseas, but has never run in the US, was shipped from the UK in just the last couple weeks, is working on only three week's rest, and has never started a race on a dirt track.  Still, So You Think is receiving lasix for the first time (the only one in the 13 horse field)!  One of the few Suttle World axioms of thoroughbred handicapping is:  "its tough to go broke betting on first time lasix horses."  If the morning line of 5:1 holds until post time, this may be one of the great value bets of the year.  For the gentle surfer not familiar, the equine drug in question is the same diuretic prescribed for people, but has nothing to do with peeing like a Russian race horse.  When running a full tilt, horses tend to rupture capillaries in their snoots.  The small amount of blood leakage limits full breathing capacity.  Lasix prevents the bleeding, and almost always allows a horse to run faster.  The use of lasix is a long running controversy (banned by some, not by most) in a sport that has a lot bigger things about which to worry.

...AMF Daylight Saving Time!  Despite the onus of changing the times on perfectly functioning clocks, Suttle World bids good riddance to the 7:45 sunrise.  As the gentle surfer is well aware, Suttle World, if nothing, is fair, and in all fairness the change will prove to be a bite in the proverbial bag next weekend when Suttle World and bride of Suttle World will be leisuring in and around NYC/abutting the Atlantic, where sunset will arrive at 4:42 (EST).  Sunset tonight at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0/last day of EDT will be at 6:31 (EDT).  This is nuts, and is most annoying to Suttle World's circadian rhythm that is akin to that of a barnyard animal.

November 4, 2011

..."(Reuters) - Groupon Inc raised $700 million after increasing the size of its initial public offering, becoming the largest IPO by an Internet company since Google Inc raised $1.7 billion in 2004.  The global leader in "daily deals" is now valued at almost $13 billion after saying it increased the offering by 5 million shares to 35 million in total and pricing them at $20 each, above an initial range of $16 to $18."  Nice site, nice service, but what in the hell will Groupon do with $700 million?  Suttle World has published daily for over eight years, and has not found it necessary to raise even $100 million.

..."(Fox News) - The conservative Media Research Center looked at morning and evening newscasts on ABC, CBS, and NBC in the first three days since the Cain allegations from anonymous women and sources broke.  For Cain, there were a total of 50 stories.  Compare that to one story in the first three days after the Paula Jones scandal broke in 1994; t three stories following Kathleen Willey's July 1997 claims of being groped by the president; and three stories after Juanita Broaddrick came forward in February 1999 to say Mr. Clinton raped her."  "And that's the way it is" in the network news business.

..."(AFP) - A cleaning woman at a German museum who mistook a sculpture for an unsightly mess has destroyed the valuable artwork beyond recognition, a spokeswoman for the western city of Dortmund said Thursday."  Suttle World is curious as to how museum authorities could distinguish between an unsightly mess and an artwork destroyed beyond recognition.  Just rename the sucker and put it back on display.  Give the cleaning lady a raise too.

...A brief and rare comment on SOTD.  Yes, today's ditty was a slam dunk #1 for the Young Rascals in 1966, but was originally recorded by Limmie Snell (a/k/a Lemme B. Good) in late 1965.

Dismissed!

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